R. Carver og grmmatik

Trust

We didn’t talk much in the first half year, but then suddenly we made a deal about going to the gym every Saturday. The first couple of times we didn’t say much, only things like “so, what’s you’re training routine?” and a respond from the other part would be something like “idk, I’ll just follow you. We did that for approx. 2 month or so. You could feel the warm started coming in the center and my bank account only had a 2 numbered amount, so I dropped out “ So..it all started with him sending a snap saying” When I cook dinner,” in the back of that text there was some good looking food, so of course I wrote back” well it looks delicious”He responded back saying” I know I am, aha”And as a the funny and maybe a little evil friend, I respond with” K, but only a little then”And guess what he wrote back…I had never guessed it..but here it goes ”You are such a beautiful and sweet girl and I know that a guy will be really happy to be your boyfriend. Everything I can hope for is to find someone like you.” I must admit, I’d had a crush on him since the first time I saw him.I respond with: Oh, stop it. I can’t be serious about you, with a heart and a laughing smileyAfter a couple of minutes, I saw that he’d opened the snap, but wasn’t responding, I might have been a little evil, so I decided to write again. This time with my honest thoughts ”Sorry, I’m just not a person whom expresses feelings that much.”And he writes” I’m serious honey<3”

Historien er ment til, at handle om den her pige, som har lidt lav selvtillid. Hun er lige startet på en ny skole, hvor hun egentlig taler fint med et par piger i klassen. Hun begynder så også at tale med en af drengene og skriver med ham, hvor han pludselig skriver det her til hende. Hun kan godt lide ham, men er bange for, at han bare gør grin med hende.

Vi har fået til opgave, at skrive lidt, som R. Carver og hans skrivestil. Det her med, at der godt kan være en dyb mening med en kort historie osv. Og at man ikke direkte skal skrive hvad der sker, men at læseren selv skal “digte” videre, / have egen opfattelse af historien.

Har i nogle fif til, hvad man kan skrive lidt om eller gøre bedre evt.? og evt. sige lidt om, hvis jeg har nogle generelle grammatik fejl?