Engelsk

Outline eksamen hjælp!!

12. juni kl. 18:32 af lubilu - Niveau: 9. klasse

Hej alle! 

Er der en, der kan rette min outline i engelsk for eventuelle fejl eller forkerte vendinger? Jeg har brugt lang tid på den, men den kan selvfølgelig altid forbedres! (hvilket jeg også kan lære af som jeg meget gerne vil).

Mange tak på forhånd :-)

____________________________________________________________________________________

I chose “Guns and violence” as my main topic and “Second thoughts on the Second Amendment” as my own topic. I have chosen this topic because this law is present and it’s a tremendous part of America’s society and everyday life. 

I would like to start off with talking about what the Second Amendment actually is, the purpose behind and some pros and cons. 

The Second Amendment is a part of the United States Constitution which protects the right to have weapons. And I can obviously see the purpose behind this amendment. It creates a sense of safety and security. For instance, business owners that carry lots of cash or just to protect yourself from any kind of violent crime.

Sadly, isn't this only what the amendment is used for.

When citizens are granted the right to bear arms, this essentially means that almost anyone has the ability to get their hands on a gun. Although, there are specific requirements for who can and can’t own a gun, certain people, sadly, end up committing some kind of gun related crime.

This Amendment actually also says that if someone enters your property, you're actually allowed to shoot them. This sounds absolutely crazy in my mind. 

Gun violence affects society in all kinds of ways, such as higher medical costs. The American economy pays at least $229 billion each year, which is more than the total cost of obesity in America. It also has a huge impact on the population by creating fear due to being surrounded by constant reminders of gun-related crimes in the media. 

And now I would like to move on to Australia’s gun law reforms in 1996. 

So, The US has the highest rate of gun-related injuries among developed countries, as well as the highest rate of gun ownership. And I think that there is a direct correlation between rate of gun ownership and violent crimes. Therefore, if the rate of gun ownership is reduced, the instances of violent crimes will reduce.

This technique was demonstrated in Australia in 1996. And it included the destruction of over half a million weapons. So this passage of strict gun laws resulted in a 59% decrease in gun-related homicide and has completely halted the occurrence of mass shootings. 

The reason why Australia tried this out, was because they had a mass shotting similar to Columbine, and Australia just said, “That’s it, I’ve had enough” and basically imposed very severe, tough gun laws - and it turned out great. 

So are Australia’s gun laws the solution for the U.S? 

Former President Barack Obama has often pointed to Australia as an example for the US to follow. On the other hand, current president Donald Trump, surprisingly has a completely different opinion. 

In the middle of an interview, Trump defined himself as, "A strong person on the 2nd Amendment." He believes guns are necessary for self-defense and has written that he opposes gun control. As a matter of fact, Trump wrote in his book, "The America We Deserve" that he supports a ban on assault weapons and a slightly longer waiting period to buy a gun. While this sounds promising, fewer Americans sense that Donald Trump doesn't keep his promises and end up doing something completely different. 

So I assume that Australia’s gun laws could help to reduce the amount of gun-related crimes in the U.S, but it’s obviously Trump that has the ability to affect the outcome. 


Brugbart svar (0)

Svar #1
12. juni kl. 18:53 af lauraa19

I have chosen “Guns and violence” as my main topic and “Second thoughts on the Second Amendment” as my own topic. I have chosen this topic because this law is present and it’s a tremendous part of America’s society and everyday life. 

I would like to start off with talking about what the Second Amendment actually is, the purpose behind it and some pros and cons. 

The Second Amendment is a part of the United States Constitution which protects the right to have weapons and I can obviously see the purpose behind this amendment. It creates a sense of safety and security. For instance, business owners that carry lots of cash or just to protect yourself from any kind of violent crime.

Sadly, this is not the only thing that the amendment is used for.

When citizens are granted the right to bear arms, this essentially means that almost anyone has the ability to get their hands on a gun. Although, there are specific requirements for who can and can’t own a gun, certain people, sadly, end up committing some kind of gun related crime.

This Amendment actually also says that if someone enters your property, you're actually allowed to shoot them. This sounds absolutely crazy in my mind. 

Gun violence affects society in all kinds of ways, such as higher medical costs. The American economy pays at least $229 billion each year, which is more than the total cost of obesity in America. It also has a huge impact on the population by creating fear due to being surrounded by constant reminders of gun-related crimes in the media. 

I would now like to move on to Australia’s gun law reforms in 1996. 

The US has the highest rate of gun-related injuries among developed countries, as well as the highest rate of gun ownership. I think that there is a direct correlation between rate of gun ownership and violent crimes. Therefore, if the rate of gun ownership is reduced, the instances of violent crimes will reduce.

This technique was demonstrated in Australia in 1996 and it included the destruction of over half a million weapons. This introduction of stricter gun laws resulted in a 59% decrease in gun-related homicide and has completely halted the occurrence of mass shootings. 

The reason why Australia tried this out, was because they had a mass shotting similar to Columbine, and Australia just said, “That’s it, I’ve had enough” and basically imposed very severe, tough gun laws - and it turned out great. 

So are Australia’s gun laws the solution for the U.S? 

Former President Barack Obama has often pointed to Australia as an example for the US to follow. On the other hand, current President Donald Trump, surprisingly has a completely different opinion. 

In the middle of an interview, Trump defined himself as, "A strong person on the 2nd Amendment." He believes guns are necessary for self-defense and has written that he opposes gun control. As a matter of fact, Trump wrote in his book, "The America We Deserve" that he supports a ban on assault weapons and a slightly longer waiting period to buy a gun. While this sounds promising, fewer Americans sense that Donald Trump will not keep his promises and end up doing something completely different. 

I assume that Australia’s gun laws could help to reduce the amount of gun-related crimes in the U.S, but it’s obvious Trump has the ability to affect the outcome. 

Nu skal aldrig bruge 'so' (kun i et spoergsmaal) eller 'and' som en begyndelse i din saetning. Rettelser har jeg lavet i fed. 


Svar #2
12. juni kl. 18:57 af lubilu

Mange tak for din hjælp! Det vil jeg huske! Hvordan synes du ellers den er (indholdsmæssigt)? 


Brugbart svar (0)

Svar #3
12. juni kl. 19:03 af lauraa19

'Saa lidt. Jeg syntes det ser godt ud. Indholdet er godt er flot skrevet, meget interresant. Du er kommet ind paa de rette ting!


Svar #4
12. juni kl. 19:06 af lubilu

Ej mange tak! Det havde jeg virkelig brug for at høre. Er nemlig utrolig nervøs (især fordi man skal kunne det udenad). Må bare gøre mit bedste og bedre kan man jo ikke gøre det:-) 


Brugbart svar (0)

Svar #5
12. juni kl. 19:09 af lauraa19

Maa du ha' nogle noter med ind som du kan kigge paa hvis du kommer til at glemme lidt her og der? Skal selv til matematik mundtlig imorgen og er ogsaa utrolig nervoes, men som du siger kan man jo kun goere det bedste man kan :)


Svar #6
12. juni kl. 21:17 af lubilu

Ja, jeg må godt have min outline med (med få stikord), men ellers intet. Skal bare øve mig, næsten som udenadslære på en måde.
Og vil selv så gerne til mundtlig matematik! Har hørt, at man bare skal virke engageret i opgaverne og gruppearbejdet, så det skal du ikke være nervøs for! Held og lykke!

Brugbart svar (0)

Svar #7
12. juni kl. 22:34 af lauraa19

Ja, har forberedt så godt som jeg kan, så jeg håber! Tak og held og lykke!

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