Rettelste af engelsk novelle evt. tilføjelser

Hej allesammen, jeg har lavet en engelsk novelle, om en dag i Vietnam. Jeg håber i vil hjælpe mig med den. Det vil hjælpe en del, Evt hvad i synes jeg mangler. Ellers mangler jeg bare at få den rettet. Forventer positiv hjælp. Hilsen Ali :) ! Tusind Tak På Forhånd.

My last day in Vietnam

03 April 1975

“What is your purpose in this army, solider!” said the sergeant.
“My purpose is to serve my country, and do whatever you tell me, sergeant” I said.
“This I what I like to hear, Solider” Said the sergeant.
“Okay, all right, everybody today is the last day we're going to war, so beware yourselves and look out for the others out there. We want everyone to come home, in one piece” Said the Sergeant.

After the little conversation with sergeant Moe and the other soldiers, me and James decided to pack our stuff, and get ready to our last battle out in Vietnam.  I was really looking forward to come home, and see my family, so did James. It has been a really tough month for all of us.
James is a big dude and my best friend here in the army. Every time we were at war, James and I was always together. We always had each other’s back.
While we were going to the battlefield, James and I talked about what we were going to do when we were home again. I told him that I missed cuddling with my wife, and hopefully get laid the first night I arrive to America.
But just as he was about to say something, we saw a big explosion and we all jumped into the ground, and the Vietnamese soldiers started shooting at us. I looked to my left, and wasn’t able to see something, then I looked at my right, and I saw some of my fellow soldiers dead body, I started screaming after help.
Suddenly I was alone.  After a few minutes lying on the ground, I started running. I ran everything I could.
I was just running, without looking behind me.
There was fire all over the ground. As soon as I passed a big stone, I saw the other soldiers.  None of my fellow soldiers was able to breathe properly, and was shaking.
After the Vietnamese had finished the bombarding the field, we heard one of our soldier shouting for help, But we were too afraid to run out into the battlefield and help him.
One of our solider, a brave man ran out in the field and helped him.  We were about 6 survivors out of 30 soldiers in my sector. 
After a little bit we got picked up by a helicopter, and flew to America. None of us said a word at the entire flight trip home.