''Weird'' english, translate into today english

Hello!

I want to translate this wierd poem into today english. How can i? Do i just have to change the wierd words into today english or change the whole verses example on word ''dem'' --> them

help me

John Agard: Listen Mr Oxford don (1985) ID

Listen Mr Oxford don ID

1

Me not no Oxford don
me a simple immigrant
from Clapham Common
I didn’t graduate
I immigrate

2

But listen Mr Oxford don
I’m a man on de run
and a man on de run
is a dangerous one

3

I ent have no gun
I ent have no knife
but mugging de Queen’s English
is the story of my life

4

I dont need no axe
to split/ up yu syntax
I dont need no hammer
to mash/ up yu grammar

5

I warning you Mr Oxford don
I’m a wanted man
and a wanted man
is a dangerous one

6

Dem accuse me of assault
on de Oxford dictionary/
imagine a concise peaceful man like me/
dem want me serve time
for inciting rhyme to riot
but I tekking it quiet
down here in Clapham Common

7

I’m not a violent man Mr Oxford don
I only armed wit mih human breath
but human breath
is a dangerous weapon

8

So mek dem send one big word after me
I ent serving no jail sentence
I slashing suffix in self-defence
I bashing future wit present tense
and if necessary

9

I making de Queen’s English accessory/ to my offence