21. april 2019 af akuthjælp - Niveau: A-niveau

Nogle som kan rette denne her del for evt. fejl, da min lærer ikke skal, men jeg stadig gerne vil se hvordan jeg har klaret det? 

Every human lives with issues, some issues may be more extreme than others. Some people know how to tackle their issues, and some do not. In principle, every person can live his life, as they want to. Why? The answer is, that there is no formula about living life correctly. Therefore, it is very freely, and this may be a reason why some people end up in troubles for instant by taking drugs, drinking regularly, and so on. Exactly, because an individual has a lot of decisions to make today, and high expectations. The short story “A Gap of Sky” is written by Anna Hope in 2008, and it deals with the issues of a nineteen-year-old girl.
Ellie is a young teenage girl who is chaotic, confused and irresponsible.  Throughout the text, she feels a lot of different feelings, for instance stress and confusion, but also optimism. Ellie awakes alone surrounded by drugs, spirits and so on.  The night before she attended a party. Ellie does not remember anything except a place near, “Spitalfields”. Furthermore, she went out to buy booze, but she cannot remember if she actually bought it. These examples show her confusion. When she wakes up, she remembers that she has an essay to do. “Essay there is an essay due, important, due for Tuesday morning.” (L.14) She starts stressing about the paper, and is not sure if she can get it. As a character, it tells that she is irresponsible, because she has waited to do her paper till the last minute. However, she also shows responsibility, because she tries to pull herself together, so she can do her paper. An example where she is stressing about her paper is, “scrabbles for her phone, finds it beside her pillow. 16:29. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.” (L.13) Ellie does not have any person to tell her how to do things, because she for instance does not live with her parents. Therefore, she must stand on her own feet, and live like an adult. This may be a reason why she is chaotic, namely because she is young and inexperienced, without anyone to guide her. Trough the text, there are complications with her paper, but it seems like she is optimistic, and that she wants to do the paper despite the time pressure, “She will write her essay and that will be a good thing. A good thing and the right thing to do”. (L.131)

Brugbart svar (0)

Svar #1
22. april 2019 af internetpleb

1: "some people end up in troubles, for instance by taking drugs..." Sådan ville jeg skrive det.

2: "Exactly, because an individual..." Mener ikke at der skal være et komma efter Exactly. Desuden bliver det en lidt twisted begyndelse på en sætning. Prøv at omformuler. 

3: Hvis du bruger The Oxford Comma regel en gang, hvor man sætter komma foran and i sammenhæng med at man remser op, så vil jeg anbefale, at man bruger det i hele sin stil.  
Her bruger du den regel: "by taking drugs, drinking regularly, and so on."
Her gør du ikke: "Ellie is a young teenage girl who is chaotic, confused and irresponsible."

4: "Ellie awakes alone"... Mener du: Ellie wakes up alone - ?

5: "The night before she attended a party". Den her står alene uden umiddelbar kontekst. 

6: "a place near, “Spitalfields”" - Fjern kommaet.

7: "She starts stressing about the paper, and is not sure if she can get it." Mener du - is not sure if she can make it - ?

8: "because she has waited to do her paper". Mener der skal stå had istedet for "has". 

9: "because she for instance does not" - for instance er i dette tilfælde en indskudt sætning og bør omringes af kommaer. 
Rettet: because she, for instance, does not...

10: "Trough the text" - Det staves through.

Overordnet en decent tekst grammawise. Bedre end de fleste:)

Svar #2
22. april 2019 af akuthjælp

Hej! Tusinde tak for hjælpen! Men jeg har dog lige opdaget, at jeg kun har uploaded halvdelen af opgaven, hvis du har mulighed, ville jeg være meget taknemmelig, hvis du hjalp mig med resten også! Det gavner mig meget. 

The short story is told by a third person narrator with a focus on Ellie. With the use of a third person narrator, the reader knows about Ellie’s thoughts and feeling, which tells a lot about her personality. The language is told as a young teenage girl, and more specific, Ellie, would speak.  This results that, for instance if Ellie is confused, the reader will probably also get confused, because of how the text is written. “Fine. Time? Ten minutes to get there. Shit. Should she do the essay first, print it in the morning? No No time.” This example shows a situation, where she is stressed, which also affects the reader. In situations where she is confused or stressed, the sentences are very short and incomplete. Another means that creates a stressed situation, are the rare use of comma and punctuations. The language also consists of swearwords for instance, “fuck”, “shit” and so on. In fact, the text is written with the use of stream of consciousness, which can be a good way to get into the character's mind. 
The themes that dominate in “Gap of sky” are freedom, youth and expectations. Ellie wants to be free and outside, “She wants to be outside, to stay outside, to walk and walk and walk. ”(L.88) Though she wants to be free, something is holding her back, which is the reason why she wants to do her paper. A reason why she must do her paper, is that she can get kicked off the course. Another reason could be that she thinks about her parents and their expectations. “There are people moving together, here in this part of London, moving with purpose, with meaning, and Ellie is one of them.”(77) This may tell us that she has moved to London as a grand tour, or to enjoy her youth. Maybe she is not able to handle this alone, which can be seen when she does drugs. Maybe she learns how to stand on her own feet and be a responsible woman. Ellie has to make her own decisions, but she also learn the consequences of her decisions. For instance, she has put off her paper till the last minute, and know she must deal with the consequences, namely that she must stay up the whole night to finish it. 
I can draw the conclusion that Ellie is a young girl, who wants to stand on her own feet and be responsible. She fails this in some way, buy drinking and doing drugs. However, she is still optimistic and wants to take her school seriously, maybe because she wants to live up to her parents’ expectations. Furthermore, I can conclude that Ellie is a complex character because we have to analyze her, to understand what kind of character she is. At last, Ellie wants to be free, but something is holding her back, probably the parents, which is the reason why she wants to do her paper. 

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