Hjææælp tak!

Nu har jeg ikke rigtig tid til at læse igennem osv. men det er normalt ikke accepteret, at man skriver med sammentrækninger. Jeg kender ikke din lærer, så jeg ved ikke, hvad din lærer siger til det. Men normalt hører sammentrækninger kun til i talt sprog. 

Og så kan jeg se, at du har oversat rolle som rule, og det er i hvert fald ikke rigtigt. Rule er en regel. Rolle er i det her tilfælde 'the character', altså bliver din sætning "Kirsten Dunst plays the character as Mary Jane so good!" og så overvejer jeg om 'as' ikke skulle være 'of', men det er jeg ikke sikker på. Så stærker jeg ikke i engelsk :)  

I have to say that it´s bad timing because next week I have important tests in school
I have to say it´s bad timing due to my important tests in school next week.

So I hope that it is okay that I first can come too L.A about two week.
So i hope it is alright that my arrival can be expected in two weeks

I´m glad that I also can have some time to be a tourist in L.A and see the area.
I'm glad that i can spend some time as a tourist in L.A and see the city

It would for me be like a dream come true. I love the movie” Spiderman”, I have seeing all Spiderman movies several of times and I never got bored of seeing them.
It would be a dream coming true. I love the movie "Spiderman". I have watched all the spiderman movies several times and i never get bored of watching them.

Kristen Dunst plays the rule as Mary Jane, so good
Kristen Dunst plays the role as mary jane so well

I got lots of inspiration from her
I get a lot of inspiration from her

One day I would be such a good actress like her.  My favorite movies are “10 things I hate about you” I would also love to play a rule in that movie.
One day i want to be as good an actress like her. My favourite movie is "10 things i hate about you" I would also love to play a role in that movie.

I have those that I will bring my friend Mana with me. She is my best friend, and she knows me better than anyone else. And her biggest dream is to travel to U.S.A so I´m not only making me dreams come true, but also my best friends.
I have chosen to bring my friend Mana with me. She is my best friend, and ske knows me better than anyone else. And her biggest dream is to travel to the United States of America so i am not the only one making my dreams come true, but also the biggest dream of my best friend.

I know that San Diego have the greatest beaches and I love to swim, and I love sun. But unfortunately her I Denmark there isn’t that much sun or great beaches.
I know that San Diego has the greatest beaches and i love to swim and i love the sun. But unfortunately here in Denmark there is not much sun or great beaches.

I´m looking forward to come too L.A and play a role in a hopefully great movie. I will make sure that your not will regret that you’re picked me.
I am looking forward to visiting L.A and play a role in a great movie. I will make sure that you will not regret that you picked me.

#2 - Der mangler nogle forklaringer på din rettelse, hvis en 9.-klasses elev skal få noget ud af det der, og læreren ikke bare tror, at eleven kan mere end han/hun kan. Eleven skal kunne stå indefor, at rettelserne er rigtige. 

I have to say that it´s bad timing because next week I have important tests in school
(Sætningen er ikke grammatisk forkert, det lyder bare bedre når man siger f.eks:
I have to say that it´s bad timing because of my important tests in school next week.

So I hope that it is okay that I first can come too L.A about two week.
Det eneste der er galt her er at “week” skal være I flertal da der er to af dem, altså “Weeks” og der skal stå “in” foran. Men igen, kunne sætningen lyde bedre, f.eks:
So I hope it´s alright that my arrival can be expected in two weeks

I´m glad that I also can have some time to be a tourist in L.A and see the area.
(Spend time, i stedet for have time, og  the city I stedet for.
I'm glad that I can spend some time as a tourist in L.A and see the city

It would for me be like a dream come true. I love the movie” Spiderman”, I have seeing all Spiderman movies several of times and I never got bored of seeing them.
Drop “for me” det lyder ikke godt på engelsk. Og så hedder det I have seen eller endu bedre I have watched, fordi når dit ”har” er i datid skal ”se” også være det, ellers står der ”Jeg har se”. Der skal stå all the spiderman movies, fordi det er nogle bestemte spiderman film du har set, det er spiderman filmene. Derfor skal der bestemt artikel foran. Sætningen er derfor:

It would be like a dream coming true. I love the movie "Spiderman". I have watched all the spiderman movies several times and I never get bored of watching them.

Kristen Dunst plays the rule as Mary Jane, so good
Rule betyder regl på engelsk, rolle hedder role. So well lyder simpelthen mere korrekt end so good her.

Kristen Dunst plays the role as mary jane so well

I got lots of inspiration from her
Inspiration er utælleligt, så derfor skal der stå “A lot of” altså “en masse”
I get a lot of inspiration from her

One day I would be such a good actress like her.  My favorite movies are “10 things I hate about you” I would also love to play a rule in that movie.
Oversat til engelsk betyder din sætning “en dag, jeg ville være sådan en god skuespiller som hende” Du taler om fremtiden, derfor skal dit verbum ikke være i datid. Du nævner kun en film, men skriver dine favorit film, i flertal ”movies are” men fordi der kun er en hedder det ”movie is”

One day I want to be as good an actress like her. My favourite movie is "10 things i hate about you" I would also love to play a role in that movie.

I have those that I will bring my friend Mana with me. She is my best friend, and she knows me better than anyone else. And her biggest dream is to travel to U.S.A so I´m not only making me dreams come true, but also my best friends.
Du har skrevet “disse”, ”those” i stedet for “valgt” som hedder ”chosen”. Det hedder ”My dreams” og ikke ”me dreams” , du siger jo heller ikke ”mig drømme” på dansk. Du kan sagtens beholde den sidste del bare skriv friend´s med apostrof i stedet for uden, fordi så står der ”min bedste vens” (drøm. underforstået)

I have chosen to bring my friend Mana with me. She is my best friend, and she knows me better than anyone else. And her biggest dream is to travel to the United States of America so i am not the only one making my dreams come true, but also my best friend´s.

I know that San Diego have the greatest beaches and I love to swim, and I love sun. But unfortunately her I Denmark there isn’t that much sun or great beaches.
San Diego er én by, derfor skal der “s” på verbet “to have” alrså “has”. Der skal også bestemt artikel på ”sun” fordi det er solen altså ”the sun”  .Du har skrevet “I denmark” i stedet for “in denmark”, altså “jeg” i stedet for “i”. Drop ”that” i ”isn´t that much”, det er ikke direkte forkert, det lyder bare dårligt

I know that San Diego has the greatest beaches and I love to swim and I love the sun. But unfortunately here in Denmark there is not much sun or great beaches.

I´m looking forward to come too L.A and play a role in a hopefully great movie. I will make sure that your not will regret that you’re picked me.
To= til Too = også, så det hedder “to come to L.A” Hopefully, er ikke i sig selv forkert, det lyder bare bedre hvis du dropper det. Du har også forkert ordstilling på det sidste, det hedder ”make sure that you will not regret” Desuden Hedder det ”you will not” og ikke ”your will not” fordi ”your” betyder ”din”. Det samme med ”that you´re picked me” du skriver ”at du er valgt mig” fordi ”you´re” er en sammentrækning af ”you” og ”are” der skal stå ”you have”

I am looking forward to come to L.A and play a role in a great movie. I will make sure that you will not regret that you  have picked me.