Hjælp til grammatik

Hej allesammen!
Håber der er nogle der vil skimte nedestående igennem for grammatiske fejl, det ville være rigtig fedt, da jeg ikke er den bedste til engelsk... På forhånd tusind tak:)

The four articles have in common that they account for the fact by making examinations from fat people, in that way they find out the reason why the are getting fat. Simultaneous they come up with horrifying numbers, who shows how badly the obesity epidemic has developed. This method is obvious in text number four, where UN’s World Health Organisation estimating that one billion adults worldwide are overweight and at least 300 million of them are clinically obese. The US Centres for Disease Control tells that the worst hit country is the United States, where a total of 30.6 percent of the adult population is obese, and the tally is 16,5 percent among the 6 to 19-year-old group. A British parliamentary report said also that Britain had the fastest-growing fat problem in Europe, with cases an obesity growing by almost 400 percent in 25 years and three quarters of adults either overweight or obese.
According to the many test results from the four articles, there are many reasons why the obesity epidemic has developed as badly as it had. Article number one tells that the American way is to work, work and work, therefore they do not have time for exercising. The families with low-income are more likely to become fat than higher-income families, because they generally lives in unsafe neighbourhoods, I think it is because they are afraid of walking about the neighbourhoods and then they keeps inside mostly. There are also many Africans in American, a test shows that they be genetically predisposed to the condition of obesity. At the same time there are a lots of immigrants, and the want their children to have all the advantages of being an American. If they mean eating unhealthy food because that is what Americans do, then they want to give them that.
Article number two is more about how teens destroying their metabolism by try the hardest to lose weight as adolescents. The results are that they are more likely to become obese later in life.
The earlier they try slimming diet the higher is the risk of being obese later in life.
In article number three, the result shows that spending hours to the television during childhood causes an increased risk of obesity and other health problems later in life, because of the aggressive barrage of advertising for unhealthy food products.
Suddenly article number four is about, as I told you earlier, Children who are getting bullied at school over healthy food choices.


I think the idea is fantastic on many ways, it would help stopping the possibility that children buying unhealthy food when the want. Besides, it is completely wrong that the school is accomplices in the children’s badly eating habits, and it always has been.
Some would maybe think, it would be wrong to suddenly taking the machines from the children, because it has been a habit for them to buy the unhealthy stuff in the machines when they want, and would mean that they have right to controlling it themselves.
I disagree, because of the big problem that children are getting more and more fat and it has to stop now. They reducing their duration of life, and they are not able to control it themselves.