Engelsk

Terror

22. august 2009 af iiMAJAii (Slettet)

Hej :)

Jeg har fået til opgave at skrive en ganske kort aflevering om terror - og har fået udleveret denne japanske kult.
Er der en venlig sjæl der gider kigge nedenstående korte stykke igennem for stave og evt. grammatikfejl?

På forhånd tusind tak ;)

Aum Shinrikyo, better knonw as Aleph, is a Japanese religious movement, which was founded by Shoko Asahara in 1984, starting of as a yoga and meditation class.
Shoko Asahara was inspired by several religions especially the Indian religion and the Tibetan buddhism. The tibetan busshism is occupied with charisma and according to Asahara, he needed to demonstrate this charisma to attract the modern audience.
He chose to cash the attention of the audience by carrying out a nervegas attack a early morning in 1995 in the tokyo subways. The attack killed 12 commuters and injured more than 5.000 people with sarin.
By this action the cult gained international notoriety and their number of members rose drastic.
Later on the leader of the cult, Shoko Asahara, went through a trial where he was found guilty on 13 of 17 charges, and he was sentenced to death by hanging on February 27, 2004.


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Svar #1
22. august 2009 af Isomorphician

starting of = starting off

busshism = buddhism

the modern audience = a modern audience

cash = catch

a early = an early

tokyo = Tokyo

drastic = drastically


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Svar #2
23. august 2009 af Stygotius (Slettet)

"starting of as a yoga and meditation class"  duer ikke.  Skriv "and it was originally a yoga and ......" 

Hvad er "the Indian religion" ??  -mener du "Hinduism"  ??

-ikke "an early morning"  men "one early morning"

Det er dårligt og klodset at skrive "Tibetan Buddhism" to gange lige efter hinanden. Skriv i stedet anden gang:  "the latter".

Det hedder "Tibetan Buddhism" uden bestemt artikel (the) foran.

Hvad  mener du mon dog  med "according to Asahara"  ??

Det hedder ikke "Tokyo subways", men "subway" eller bedre "underground". "Subway" er ikke engelsk, men amerikansk.

På engelsk betyder "subway" en fodgængertunnel.

"their number of members"  er ikke godt. Skriv  "The number of their members increased drastically.""

"went through a trial" går ikke. skriv "was prosecuted" eller "brought before a criminal court"


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Svar #3
24. august 2009 af Stygotius (Slettet)

 "the modern audience" skal være  "a modern audience"


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Svar #4
24. august 2009 af Stygotius (Slettet)

  "the modern audience" skal være  "a modern audience"

"The tibetan busshism is occupied with charisma" er ikke så godt. Prøv i stedet med

"Charisma is an important  ingredient in the latter."

"5.000"  skal være   "5,000". Man bruger altid et komma til at adskille tusind-grupper i engelske og amerikanske tal (og et punktum ved decimaltal).


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