Grammatik

This (can be) may come/stem from drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes(, to) or trying out sex. All this must be (tried out) tested/experienced before a certain time(line), which is (set) determined/appointed by the (social circle,) community and not (necessary) necessarily by each (adolescence) adolescent (themselves) individually.

Kan du hjælpe med at kigge på denne sætning: 

Following in your friends and family's footstep regarding becoming an adult is often connected to gaining your friends' and boyfriends’ approvals, and praise

Following in your (friends) friends' and family's footsteps (regarding) when it comes to/is about becoming an adult is often (connected to) a matter of gaining your friends' and boyfriends’ approval(s,) and praise

Er det rigtigt nu 

Following in your friends’ and family's footsteps when it comes about becoming an adult is often a matter of gaining your friends' and boyfriends’ approvals, and praise.

Er denne sætning korrekt ift. kongurens

"She wants to fit into the group of girls at her school, and more importantly, she wants to grow up quickly".

Neej, du har ikke rigtig brugt mine forslag.

Following in your friends’ and family's footsteps when it (comes) is about  becoming an adult is often a matter of gaining your friends' and boyfriends’ approval(s), and praise.

Din sætning i #5 er helt i i orden, -bortset fra at jeg nok vill sige "in her school" og ikke "at her school.".

Hvor tror du der kunne være et kongruensproblem ?  (ikke kongurens-)

P.S.

Du skal bruge udtrykket "i forhold til" rigtigt. Det kan ikke betyde alt muligt mellem himmel og jord, men skal dreje sig om et forhold af en eller anden slags..

Okay. Hvad med denne sætning:   

The narrator might be opening up to her grandmother about her personal life, because of  the fact that she catched her father cheating on her mother, and her disappointment towards her parent

Jeg er også lidt i tvivl om de her sætninger: 

"The grandmother might be the only one with a strong ‘sense of moral’ in her life, whom she can trust and look up too".

The theme is, also connected to the title and the message of the short story: “Walk Don’t run” which originally is presented as a piece of advice about safety in traffic, but metaphorically applies to the process of growing up where youngsters ought to be careful before rushing into things that might harm them if they are not fully prepared.

Jeg vil godt hjælpe med enkelte problemer, men jeg kan/vil ikke ordne alle dine opgaver for dig.

Du skal selv prøve at løse dem.

Jeg kan dog sige at tegnsætning også skal tages alvorligt.

Ja, men jeg har svært ved tegnsætning, og den sidste sætning er også ret lang. Så det er derfor jeg forsøger at finde ud af om jeg overhovedet kan formulerer det på den måde

Så skulle du nok gøre noget for at sætte dig ind i såvel emnet "engelsk tegnsætning" som "dansk stavning". Det har andre kunnet gøre.