Hjælp til retning af tekst

18. december 2021 af ANIDA01 (Slettet) - Niveau: 9. klasse

Nogen der ville være så behjælpelige at læse min tekst iggenm for fejl i grammatik eller komma? 

På forhånd mange tak. 

Min tekst er her:

My robot Jerry (Fiona) 

I’ve been so lucky to win a competition, where I won a robot, called Jerry, but because I don’t like the name “Jerry”, I’m going to change it to “Fiona”, and yes, I’ve changed the gender too. Why? I want it to be a woman rather than a man. It's because I think women are more helpful and more “useful” than men are - that is what I think, and I won't change that!

You may wonder how I won the robot at first?

I won her in a competition, as I already said. In the competition, I had to compete against 2 very big guys - they were tall, strong, and compared to my head, their heads were gigantic. And their teeth looked so gross.

Fiona is very helpful. She helps me with everything. I almost never have to do anything at home - she does all the things I usually have to do. She does the housework, which I don't like doing - it’s cleaning the bathroom and washing clothes. The other things I do by myself because I’m one of those people who like cleaning.

What she also does is that she exercises for me - I frequently exercise almost every day. I either walk or run for an hour, but now Fiona does it for me. My robot exercises for me - how lucky am I?

It may not make sense to you that my robot exercises for me, but now I’m going to explain to you how it works.

When my robot, Fiona, goes running outside, she burns some energy (calories), and the energy she burns - burns I too. It means that Fiona exercises for me and stays healthy for me.

What she also helps me with is my homework. She does some of the homework that I don’t want to do. I’ve some subjects at school I really don’t like that much, so when I get homework on that subject, I make Fiona do them for me.

I have to say that Fiona doesn't do EVERYTHING for me, - I also do a lot by myself - just not the things I don’t like. We work together - as a team. I do the fun and easy things, and she does the more boring and difficult things, such as running (exercise), cleaning the bathroom, and more.

The best thing about Fiona is that she is my best friend. She is a friend I can talk with. She listens to me whenever I need it, and answers what I want to hear - she never hurts me. She is there for me when I need a hug or can’t sleep, then she plays my favorite song.

I’m so lucky to be able to have Fiona with me when I am at school - it means a lot to me, especially, when I’m in a bad mood, or just sad, then she makes me feel better and more comfortable. When I cry, she tries to help- the way she helps me is by telling me what to do- she knows everything, she is so smart. 

Once, I had a period where I didn’t want to go to school because I was so scared - I had panic attacks daily, but Fiona managed to help me go back to school and made me want to go to school again as I used to do. What she did isn’t that easy to explain, but if I’ve to explain it- the only thing I can say is that she made me realize why I wanted to go to school at first - and it was because I wanted to learn something. I love learning, and it makes me relax because it distracts my thoughts - my bad and sad thoughts. 

For me, having a robot is something special and something I really can’t describe. I’ve my robot with me almost all the time, and that means a lot to me. It makes me feel safe, or safer than I used to be. Now I’m able to go outside for a walk at night or when it’s winter, when it’s dark at about 4 pm, without being scared.

Brugbart svar (0)

Svar #1
18. december 2021 af HellePlays

Nu kender jeg ikke din specifike underviser, men alle engelsk undervisere jeg har mødt er forholdsvis ligeglade med kommaer i engelske tekster. Har altid fået 12 i afleveringer og sætter aldrig komma. Dog vigtigt hvis det er opbremsninger i teksten. 

Bare et tip om at du ikke behøver at tænke så meget over det. Kan dog være at din underviser gerne vil have det.

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