an egg´s life

Har kun lige rettet de grove fejl.

An Egg´s Life
In the beginning it was all strange and weird.
Where am I. What am I doing here? Is this how my life is like, captured in a greasy little hole. I just hope I die fast, so I can get away from this dump. But there I was, stuck in that little round ball which was white all over. When I looked at myself I could see that I was slimy and very thin.
(FØRSTE DEL OKAY)

I then(MINUS THEN) was in that little ball for some few days(ENTEN "for a few days" ELLER "for some days" DU KAN IKKE KOMBINERE DEM), but I considered the days as (if they were) years, until something happened, just suddenly my home and I was popped out like a canon. I got sick(,) but afterwards I felt a warm feeling and it was great and relaxing. Few months after I could see that there was growing something(OMVENDT ORDSTILLING -> "something growing" IKKE OMVENDT) out of my(MY WHAT?). I looked down and I could see two long sticks coming out of my body and on those sticks(,) there was another(MINUS ANOTHER) three (other) sticks on them, which had skin between them. When I looked to my Wright(RIGHT) and left side, there was a lot of skin on some sticks. The experience was tough(THOUGH) and not comfortable. Then one day my home was cracking, there was a hole on(IN - IKKE ON) my roof.
There was a strong light(,) which went in my house from the roof and it almost blended my eyes. The hole got bigger and bigger, right until there was no hole. I got out(,) but I could not walk, I tried to open my eyes and that (too) was also impossible to do. But I got the hang of the walking thing and for every day there went I could open my eyes. When I opened my eyes for the first time I looked around and realised that I had a lot of brothers and sisters. There was also a huge one and I think(DU MÅ IKKE BLANDE NUTID OG DATID - ALTSÅ SKAL DET VÆRE "thought") that the huge thing was my mother. She had a lot of hair(FJER IK? ALTSÅ "feathers"). My siblings and I was completed(COMPLETELY) naked. That was the beginning of my life and("BUT" I STEDET FOR "AND" DET LYDER PÆNERE) also the end(,) because there came something which(THAT) was much bigger then(THAN) my mother and stepped right(MINUS RIGHT) on me(,) when I was walking outside with my mom,(.) and(MINUS "AND") every(Every) time I look at my back in the mirror I saw the name Nike ("Nike").

An Egg´s Life

In the beginning it was all strange and weird.
Where am I? What am I doing here? Is this how my life is like, captured in a greasy little hole. I just hope I die soon, so I can get away from this dump. But there I was, stuck in that little round ball, which was white all over. When I looked at myself I could see that I was slimy and very thin.

I was in that little ball for a few days, but I considered the days as if they were years, until something happened, just suddenly my home and I was popped out like a cannonball. I got sick, but afterwards I felt a warm feeling and it was great and relaxing. Few months after, I could see that there was something growing out of me. I looked down and I saw two long sticks coming out of my body and on those sticks, there were three other sticks on them, which had skin between them. When I looked to my right and left side, there was a lot of skin on sticks close to my body. The experience was though and not comfortable. Then one day my home was cracking, there was a hole in my roof.
There was a strong light, which went in my house from the roof and it almost blended my eyes. The hole got bigger and bigger, right until there was no hole. I got out, but I could not walk, I tried to open my eyes and that too was also impossible to do. But I got the hang of the walking thing and for every day there went I could open my eyes. When I opened my eyes for the first time I looked around and realized that I had a lot of brothers and sisters. There was also a huge one and I knew that the huge thing was my mother. She had a lot of feathers. My siblings and I was completely naked. That was the beginning of my life, but also the end, because there came something that was much bigger than my mother and stepped on me, when I was walking outside with my mom. So every time I look at my back in the mirror I see the name "Nike".

Har ikke lavet de der paranteser men håber at du kan se din fejl:)

Er det ikke HELT det samme som det jeg skrev? Bortset fra at du har skrevet det jeg havde skrevet i paranteserne uden paranteser?

det kan da godt være, jeg har ik læst din rettelse, og fejl er da fejl! sorry hvis jeg har såret dig=(

Ville normalt bruge en of-genitiv ved titlen, men det er ok.

life is like = bare life is, bagefter kolon

fjern kommaet efter soon

punktum i stedet for komma efter I was.

which was white all over = hvorfor ikke lave denne parantetiske sætning om til bare: Stuck in that little white and round ball?

but I considered the days as if they were years = but to me it seemed as if the days were years/but to mee the days seemed like years/the days were like years osv.

slet until something happened og forbind den næste sætning efter det med dagene på følgende måde:

However, I suddenly popped out of my home like a cannon ball. First I was sick....

Few months after = Few months later
Few months after,

slet there i næste sætning og flyt something bagefter that og så was....

Næste sætning, som er meget lang har jeg lige lavet om til følgende:

I looked down and saw two long sticks coming out of my body. Out of it, three other sticks with skin between them were growing rapidly.
.
Looking right and left, skin on sticks grew close to my body.

though = tough

my home was cracking = my home started cracking. There was a hole...I looked up and was almost blinded by the strong light that came down through the hole in the roof.

right until... = right until no hole was seen/could be seen.

Punktum efter walk.

and that too = which also was...

The walking thing = walking bare/eller måske bare I learned to walk

for every day there went = for every day that went by/passed by

I could open my eyes = I started to open my eyes (der skal være sammenhæng med det du skriver ovenfor.


My siblings and I was = flertal (were

efter naked, skal sætningsstrukturen formindskes til en kortere sætning. Skriv herfor:

That was the beginning of my life. However, it was also the end because something much bigger than my mother stepped on me when I was..

MVH
Fingersen

Hvis ikke du har fået dikteret overskriften, eller hvis det ikke er meningen, at der er en form for sprogligt spil i den - skal du bruge of-genetiv. Dette fordi et æg ikke er et menneske eller højerestående dyr - i hver fald ikke endnu (:

Til #2 synes bare det er MEGET mærkeligt at din tekst er help magen til min, selv med de samme stavefejl som jeg kan se jeg har lavet.

#7 ok i min er der ikke stavefejl da jeg tog det ind på word og som du sikkert ved så retter word stavefejlene!

et eks: du har ikke gjort noget ved popped out like a cannon.....MAN KAN IKKE KOMME UD SOM EN KANON MEN popped out like a cannonball!

eks 2: du har skrevet out of my what, hvis du leægger mærke til det så har jeg skrevet out of my body, hvilket nok er tilfældet...

din rettelse: and I thought that the huge thing....

min rettelse: and I knew .....

osv osv osv

det kan godt være st du føler at jeg har kopieret dit og oprettet et indlæg, men ville det ikke være dumt!!!

PEACE OUT!

GIRLY

okay...

Så lige en fejl i din...

min rettelse: and I thought that the huge thing

din rettelse: and I knew...

sala skrev think (altså tror) så rettede jeg det til datid.
Du har lavet hele ordet om til VED i stedet for TROR.

ok whatever ska vi ikke bare afslutte denne diskusion og komme videre med livet....syntes bare at det lød bedre med knew, for hvis han troede så er det ikke hans mor alligevel, men når han vidste det så er det jo hans mor!hvis du forstår hvad jeg mener....

yes yes... helt enig... c",)

tak så er vi okay ik? :)

yes yes...