haster ekstrem meget

Jeg har kun læst det første afsnit (indtil tidy), men her er et par rettelser:

Is being told by the main characters which (det du har skrevet betyder heks) blablabla.

næste ting jeg lige falder over er din beskrivelse af hendes far. Her mangler du et a (he's a conservative man) og så giver det næste stykke ikke rigtig nogen mening: who takes of other families - det ligner der mangler et eller andet.

Desuden kan det være en dog idé at vente med personkarakteristikken af forældrene til efter du har præsenteret dem, den måde du har gjort det på betyder du får en meget langt lidt uoverskuelig sætning.

Så er det altid en god idé at læse lidt hurtig korrektur efter man har skrevet noget, så man slipper for slåfejl. Doesn't't og Tees.

Stykket efter om hendes drømme om at flytte til New York er ret rodet og igen får du en meget lang sætning + at du modsiger dig selv i starten = læseren bliver mildest talt forvirret.

Consider betyder overvejer, hvis det er det du har tænkt dig at sige de gør burde du ændre sætningen.

Det efterfølgende citat er ret langt så du brude nok lave afsnit over og under:

blablabla:

''citat, citat,citat''

This quote blabla

I din konklusion på citatet mangler du et punktum. parents she has. They ....

og så skal dominate ikke stå i datid men i ''-ing form'' (dominating).

Her er min version:

The short story is written by Greg Changong in 1998 and is told of the main character´s view which makes the story personal.
It is about a young girl named Tess Powell and takes place in a town called Winteka during the winter, it is very cold and blizzard. The main character is Tess who is 15 years old. Tess is a high school girl who lives with her father who is reverend and a very conservative man who takes care? of other families in the town and her mother who owns a fabric store and therefore the family most likely belongs to the upper-middle class. We (doesn´t) hear how Tees is a teenager who is tired of living in the small town Winetka and wants to move to New York where she can live her life as she will and do what she wants to do(hører du om det eller ikke? hvis ikke, så er det meget dumt at skrive det - du skriver jo heller ikke om at man ikke hører at hun er stripper i sin fritid ect.). But her parents wants her to take over her mother´s fabric after college . “Instead, I have to sleep in a pink satin bedroom designed by my mother and, during supper, give feedback on my father’s sermons that have titles like: Is Family Love Passé, or Jesus says,
“Come every Sunday”. This quote symbolise what kind of parents she has. They seems to be very dominated and tidy(ved ikke om du mener strikse - tidy betyder ryddelig) .

Tess is playing the role as a nurse in her schools current production of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. It is very difficult to play nurse for her because it is not obvious how she feels. The strong emotions of nursing is like a mystery to Tess, because to her nursing is just an employee. Tess does not understand the nurse and her love for Juliet which is like a mother’s love to her child. She thinks the role as Juliet is easier to play compared with the role as a nurse.

An other person who is very important and also has a role in the school play is Tiger De Sonto. He is a very wild teenager and he is only taking part in the play because it was a condition in the school probation he is reportedly on. He seems to be very alone almost like an outsider, because he does not seems to get along with anybody just he is just playing his guitar.
The reason why Tess is talking to Tiger is because the blizzard and the rehearsals are being cancelled so she has to call and tell him. The conversation between them is not very long but Tees seems to start liking Tiger.
“There’s four miles of hard-packed snow between us but I’ve never felt so close.”
This is typical for teenager´s when they start failling in love, they forget everything around them and just start thinking about the one person they love.
Tess is looking up to Tiger because he is a free guy who is running away from everything and starting over. The climax in the text is after the conversation with Tiger, Tess does not see him anymore, because Tiger disappeared. Later Tigers parents comes to the rehearsals to ask if anyone might know where he is, but no one know anything.
A couple of days later Mr. Swick tels Tess that Tiger De Soto has been found outside his own house. He was walking around his house and fell in a window well.
Snow is playing an important part in this story. It is the reason why the rehearsals are cancelled, which gives Tess the opportunity to call Tiger. It is also the reason why Tiger died. Without the snow he would not have gone outside to shovel. He would probably not have fallen into the window well and he would not have suffocated. The snow is also the reason why Tiger is not found until after he has been lying there a week. During this week the snow melts and when the show is gone, Tess finds herself wishing for more snow, because opening without Tiger seems a definitive way of saying that he is not coming back. The snow has one more meaning, when she thinks of the snow, she thinks of Mrs. De Soto’s skin, which was very white, and the blond of Tiger’s hair. It is as if he was of that snow, and always destined to die in it.

There is two kinds of love in the story. The teenagerlove which is Tess’ teenager crush on Tiger. But it seems that Tess is more in love in the “idea of love” than she is in love Tiger. Because Tiger is the opposite to her. The other love in the story is the love between a parent and the child. Because we hear how hard it is for Tigers’ Parents to loose their son and how much they loved their son. And Tess realize that parents loves their children but sometimes hide it and react in another way. Some people shows their love easy but for someone it is hard. Now she finally understands the nurse, because there is a parallel between the nurse and Mr. and Mrs. De Soto. The nurse has had a child who died and now they lost their own child. Tess has also lost a friend and the bond she had built between them.
 

En gennemgående fejl (som mange laver) er Is´nt og does´nt - Det må KUN skrives, hvis det er i en samtale.. Ellers SKAL der stå is not og does not.

rigtig flot og sødt af jer mange tak :)