Datid til nutid

Alle verballed skal ændres fra datid til nutid  - ser det rigtigt ud eller har jeg glemt noget? 

Datid:

One morning in late July, while we were out on patrol near ..., Lee Strunk and Dave Jensen got into a fistfight. It was about something stupid—a missing jackknife—but even so the fight was vicious. For a while it went back and forth, but Dave Jensen was much bigger and much stronger, and eventually he wrapped an arm around Strunk's neck and pinned him down and kept hitting him on the nose. He hit him hard. And he didn't stop. Strunk's nose made a sharp snapping sound, like a firecracker, but even then Jensen kept hitting him, over and over, quick stiff punches that did not miss. It took three of us to pull him off.  

Nutid: 

One morning in late July, while we are out on patrol…. , Lee Stunk and Dave Jensen gets into a fistfight. It is about something stupid – a missing jackknife – but even so the fight is vicious. For a while it goes back and forth but Dave Jensen is much bigger and much stronger, and eventually he wraps an arm around Strunk’s neck and pins him down and keeps hitting him on the nose. He hits him hard. And he doesn’t stop. Strunk’s nose makes a sharp shapping sound, like a firecracker, but event then Jensen keeps hitting him, over and over, quick stiff punches that do not miss. It took three of us to pull him. 

Jeg skal også finde ud af hvilken virkning det har på læseren at det nu er på nutid istedet for datid