Grammatik

Slettet

1. ved første sætning, fjern "the" foran masculinity. "a very discussed topic nowadays is masculinity" er korrekt.

når du putter "the" foran et navneordet "maskulinitet" betyder det maskuliniteten og jeg antager at du mener maskulinitet generelt?

2. anden sætning. korrekt: "there will be an outline of the various attitudes towards masculinity in the texts"

3. du kan ikke sige "the today's boys". det er fordansket engelsk. korrekt sætning: "the boys of today".

4. "this entails that they will not be able to establish a family" er forkert brug af ordet "entails". "entails" betyder "involveret". jeg vil foreslå "this consequently means that ...." eller "this results in men being unable to establish..."

5. because of how much they become isolated

6. "...and watching at freely available Internet porn" - fjern "at"

7.  is that the society is not giving a support - navneordet 'society' er generelt, du behøver ikke "the". det specifierer. du skal kun bruge "the" foran society hvis du snakker om et bestemt samfund. f.eks maya-indianerne etc.

8. istedet for at skrive  "the article is written by Stephanie Coontz and has another point" prøv med et andet ord det lyder mere engelsk. "and delivers another point of view" eller "and proposes another point of view". små omformuleringer gør stor forskel.

9.  "This tells, that there has been an ascent" - kan du ikke skrive. Fordansket engelsk. "This reveals" eller "This indicates" lyder lidt bedre.

10. "Men have become an irresponsibility and bad behavior"  - giver ikke rigtigt mening. "men have become irresponsible and badly behaved" er mere korrekt.

11." which entails that they are having trouble by keeping a relationship." - forkert brug af entails, prøv "results in" 

12." which tells that some men are behaving better." - ikke brug "tells". prøv "indicates".

13. " tells that girls are better in school than boys." - ikke brug tells. "describes" lyder bedre i denne sætning. 

prøv at bruge ordet "tells" så lidt som overhovedet muligt fordi englænderne bruger ikke ordet på den måde du bruger det.

14. "gives a reason why boys have a lacking motivation" - er forkert formuleret. korrekt "gives a reason as to why boys have a lacking motivation".

fremadrettet, hvis du skal bruge "why" i en sætning som denne, altid skriv as to why.... det lyder meget mere engelsk.

15. "when the wetter is cold" - korrekt: when the weather is cold 

16.  "The society is the reason why the boys are failing"  - fjern "the" foran society. du snakker om samfund generelt.

17. "do more practically things" - giver ingen mening. "do more practice things".

18. "not to sit by a desk 8 hour on a day" - fjern "on"

19.  "Additionally, some boys drop out of the school" - fjern "the".du snakker om skoler generelt ikke en specific  skole.

20. "Jennifer Fink, tells that it is not the boys who are failing, but the society," - brug explains eller outline ..alt andet end telllssss det lyder ikke engelsk

21. "if they want to help the boys." - fjern "the"

22.  "and it does not have to get answered." - brug "be answered" i stedet

23.  "The author has also used metaphors" - korrekt sætning. Men her er et godt tip jeg gjorde for at få 12-tal. Istedet for "used" brugte jeg ordet "employed" siden det betyder det samme i den kontekst. Prøv at skift "used" ud med "employed" her.

24. "when she enhances her argues with examples" - KORREKT: when she enhances her arguments

25. "so they will develop them as individual persons," korrekt: so they will develop themselves as....

26. "to spend lots of hours in a desk," - er drengene inden i bordet? korrekt: "to spend lots of hours behind a desk"

27. ". I think, that the society shall change this." - kender du fejlen? :)

28. "because of he can use a saw or start a fire."  - fjern "of"

29. "This tells us, that children today cannot do the same things" - prøv at bruge et andet ord end "tells" . Jeg ville skrive "this reveals, that children today..."

Du er rigtig god til engelsk super godt gået.

@namespace url(http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml); /* LOGO BY THEPATROLLPL.DEVIANTART.COM */

Nåh, jeg ville ikke kalde den tekst for "super godt gået". Den er kun lige acceptabel. Der er en masse sætningsfejl  og glosefejl og stavefejl, og nogle af irenenes rettelser er heller ikke rigtige, f.eks. rettelse 17 og 29. Desuden er der ingen betydningsforskel på "use" og "employ" 

Stilen er super godt gået for en i 9.klasse. Jeg er enig i at "use" og "employ" ingen betydningsforskel har, det var det jeg selv skrev. Har kigget tilbage på mine rettelser, nr. 17 er forkert - godt set. Jeg har sikkert været træt. Holder fast i at nr. 29 er rigtig. Tak for dit input.

@namespace url(http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml); /* LOGO BY THEPATROLLPL.DEVIANTART.COM */

Rettelse 29 er forkert.

Formuleringen "this tells  us." er udmærket og gangbart engelsk. Du skal nok lære lidt om den syntaktiske brug af verbet "tell" og også om udvidet tid på engelsk.

Jeg er meget beæret over at få ros af en HF-elev !!!  ("godt set")

Den stil er alt andet end  "super godt gået". Måske mener du "supergod"  -hvis det skal være dansk.

Den er højst middelmådig.

Jeg skrev aldrig at "this tells us" er forkert. Jeg gav studenten kommentarer og et par gode råd til omformuleringer. Det var det hun bad om. 

Ved ikke hvilket stilniveau du er vant til på din udannelsesinstitution men de fleste HF'ere er dårligere til engelsk end hende. Kom ned fra den høje hest pernittengryn.

Slettet

#2 ...3. du kan ikke sige "the today's boys". det er fordansket engelsk...

Hvis du Googler today's boys vil du se, at det faktisk bruges. Vær opmærksom på, at det engelske sprog ændres bl.a. under indflydelse af internettet.

"the today's boys" er ikke specielt internetsprog. Det er bare dårligt engelsk og har altid været det.

Man kan ikke udtrykke bestemthed flere gange i et engelsk syntagme.

#0. Til trådstarter. Hvis du er interesseret i at høre mit svar på #9, så skriv din email-adresse her.

Jeg talte ikke om udtrykket "today's boys", men om udtrykket  "the today's boys".

A very discussed topic nowadays is the masculinity. In this assignment, there will be an outline of the various attitudes to masculinity in the texts, following with an analysis of a text with examples. Furthermore, there will be a discussion about whether young men need to be challenged differently today. 
“The Demise of Guys”, is an article written by Phillip Zimbardo and Nikita Duncan in 2012. The point of view of the text is, that the today’s boys are going through a hard time. They are isolating themselves, by destroying their friendships and relationships with girls. Furthermore, boys are failing sexually with women, but they do watch a lot of online pornography. This entails that they will not be able to establish a family, because of how much they get isolated by playing video games and watching at freely available Internet porn. It says that one of the reasons why there is a demise of the boys is that the society is not giving a support, means or places for these boys to be motivated to these things.
The second text is, “The Myth of Male Decline”, which also is an article from 2012. The article is written by Stephanie Coontz and has another point of view of the today’s boys. Today, men who have similar skills and education, earn more money than women. “Girls have long done better in school than boys, and women have now pulled ahead of men in completing college.” (P.4, L.32) This tells, that there has been an ascent of women. Quite the reverse for men, there has been a big descent for them. Men have become an irresponsibility and bad behavior, which entails that they are having trouble by keeping a relationship. Though their irresponsibility, the rapes and sexual assaults against women by men have fallen a lot, which tells that some men are behaving better. It also says that men have started helping more at home, by doing the domestic work and taking more care of the children. 
The third text is written by Jennifer Fink in 2015, and is called, “Why schools are failing our boys”. The previous text, “The Myth of Male Decline”, tells that girls are better in school than boys. The text by Jennifer Fink gives a reason why boys have a lacking motivation. Jennifer’s 8-year-old son is also struggling through his school days, like many other boys. It is hard for boys to follow all the rules in school, for instance, to be quiet and sitting still. Furthermore, they are not allowed to go outside, when the wetter is cold. The society is the reason why the boys are failing. “Yet today, they’re confined to classrooms expected to remain still for the majority of the day(..)” (P.7, 68) Boys need to get outside, experience things, do more practical things, and not to sit by a desk 8 hour on a day. Additionally, some boys drop out of the school, and may even get in trouble. The point of view of this text contrary to the others is that the parent, Jennifer Fink, tells that it is not the boys who are failing, but the society and they have to do something about it if they want to help the boys. 
In the text, “The Myth of Male Decline”, Stephanie Coontz argues for her views with rhetorical devices and uses direct argumentation. When she is using a direct argumentation, her substances and contentions are clear. “How is it, then, that men still control the most important industries(..) and continue to make more money than the woman who has similar skills and education?” (P.4, L.13) This sentence is a rhetorical question. A rhetorical question attempts to excite the reader's interest, and it does not have to get answered. Furthermore, she uses irony and sarcasm, when she says that even though men have turned into being boys, they are still controlling the most important industries. The author has also used metaphors, for instance, “That we are on the verge of a (..)” (P.4, L.8), which creates pictures when you read the text. Stephanie Coontz appeals to logos and pathos. She appeals to logos, when she enhances her argues with examples of recent books and statistical data, which she does a lot, “And why do women make up only 17 percent of Congress” (P.4, L.19), “Today woman earn almost 60 percent of college degrees(..)” (P.4, L.36). Subsequently, she writes the article using irony and humor, which is pathos. Pathos appeals to the readers' emotions. An example could be (cf. P.5, L.66-71). In this example, it seems like, she is making fun of men, and even mocking them. 
Do young men need to be challenged differently in today’s society? I agree with Jennifer Fink, that especially boys need to get more challenged today. They need to challenge themselves, so they will develop them as individual persons, though there are other expectations of them. They are expected to spend lots of hours in a desk, to sit quietly in the library and so on. I think, that the society shall change this. Boys and girls must learn how to stand on their own feet, through their school days. They should experience things outside the classrooms and learn things, that are not written down in a thick book. Through decades, children have become much weaker. “One hundred and fifty years ago, my son would have been considered a model boy” (P. 6, L.50) Today, in school, they will look at him as he is a weirdo or troublemaker, because of he can use a saw or start a fire. This tells us, that children today cannot do the same things, as children from one hundred and fifty years ago. 

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