Rettelse af stil

Hej,

Jeg ville gerne spørge om nogen ville være sød at rette min engelsk stil.. Og så har jeg et spørgsmål: Sætter man komma på engelsk som på dansk, fordi så vil jeg gøre det efter den er blevet rettet..?

My stay in England will absolutely never be forgotten. It was one of the best experiences I've ever had.
When my family and I reached England by car, the first thing I noticed was that every single driver were driving in the right sight and compared to Denmark, we drive in the left side.
When we arrived to my aunt's house, which is in Hemel Hempstead. We were all very tired because of the long trip. We started to take our entire luggage out of the luggage carrier. We all slept early that night, and the next day my cousin, my sister and I went out to see the neighbourhood.
We all began to get ready in the evening, because we had to see the most popular tourist attraction in Hemel Hempstead, which is a hill.
When I was standing on the hill, looking down, I saw a very beautiful and indescribable landscape with a very big field and many flowers. The place was a kind of filled by harmony and it looked like a big painting.
The special thing about the landscape was that there was a pattern of a lion made in the grass, and it only shined when it was evening. A different thing was that the colour of the grass was light yellow. It was such a great experience to see it. 
The whole scene looked very beautiful, because the pattern shined and the sky was a kind of red colour. My mother and sister took a lot of picture of the pattern and it shined more in the camera, and it was a very good effect with the red sky.
When the adults decided to sit on the benches and drink a cup of tea, I got the chance to do something funny. My little brother was holding his football and I decided to kick it downhill.
The ball started to roll very fast, as the ball was coming downhill I realized that it could sting something or somebody. When my sister, brother and cousins saw the ball coming downhill, the all began to hope that it would sting into a tree. But it didn´t, suddenly the ball began to roll slower and slower and after a short time it stopped in the end of the hill. 
The thing I fell, which is very special about England, is without a doubt the landscape.