rette stil

hej

der står i min opg, at:

write about the most dramatic incident you have experienced in your life. if you havent experienced a dramatic incident, then make one up. but it is a must that you write it in such a way what the reader will not know that you are making it fictional. consider what makes a fictional storysound authentic.

er min stil ok fortælt, og vil i rette hvad jeg har gjort forkert, fx grammatik

Dramatic Incident

I was just finish with my car lesson in car school. I was happy; I finally was finish and get my card from my car school.  I buy my first new car, it was black color. My first day, when I buy my new car, I called my best friend and my 3 nearest other friends. I told them I was finish with my lesson and buyed  a new black car. And ask if they will have a trip in my new car and if they also want to drive my new car. And of course they say yes, so I get ready and get all my friends from their house and droved. We had fun in our car because we listen very high music in my car and buyed lot of candy ships etc. and eat in my car and talked girl talk. It was a fantastic day the girls changed to drive the car, and now I drived the car again, after my best friend and my 3 nearest friend drived the car. I drived too a little (bro), which I had never tried in my car lesson with my car teacher, there was under the bro? a big beach water. So I drive there, the road was small; I felt a car was beside my road and will crash my car. I got confuse and drove my car to left so we could fall down under the beach water. We all got scared, we screamed, and I told them if they did have their security seddle. This was my last talked, because got down in the beach. One of the girl didn’t have a security seddle on, it was Lise that why she died. When we got under the beach, me and my best friend open our security seddle, and looked at it other and used our sign language, hand to talk instead of talked, because we where under the water. We said we should help the 3 girls in my car. We looked at them, the one of them trying too open her security seddle, she looks afraid and crying because she will not die. Me and my best friend also trying open our security seddle, and we did open our security seddle. And swimming to the girls, it was hard to open the car door, my best friend and I swim behind our door to the girls. I open the car door and saw that Lise has broken her neck, that why she is dead, so I couldn’t help her. But the other, which sad in the mid side space, I could she is not breating. So I swim trough Lise and gave some oxygen under the beach, and she waked up and she open her security seddle and get out. And my best friend helped the another, she open the door  and open her security seddle, so they swim from away from the car. And looked at me, and I told them too swim up to the beach now in our sign language. They understood that Lise is dead. And so we swim all 4 girls up to the beach and breathe. My best friend says when, we got up:” is she dead Lise”, I said yes she is, she broke her neck. The end wrote by Tara      

Consider what makes a fictional story sound authentic ??