Engelsk
rettelse af stil?
01. november 2006 af
gittemaja (Slettet)
English paper
With focus on: terrorism
Answer no.1
The first text is about a man named Stephen Evans, and he works for BBC, and a number of British newspapers. He’s telling us about September 1. the day the two twin towers in New York collapsed. Stephen Evans arrived early in the morning half past eight in one of the twin towers to interview an economist. Stephen remembers the day as stunningly beautiful, warm and ordinary. He was a little early so he waited in the vast lobby. But suddenly he felt a big thud like a huge iron door slamming. Outside he could see smoke and people who streamed past him trough the lobby. He also remembers that no one was panicking – just a determined movement away from trouble.
Stephen left the place and heard people were telling each other that a plane had crashed into the building at 8.47 am, but he just thought it was an accident. Although he knew he had to get on the air so he lent a phone from a newsagent. Stephen rang the editor on duty in London and was soon broadcasting and as he was talking, the second plane crashed into 2WTC at 9.03 am and the newsagent took his phone back. For Stephen the whole situation seemed unbelievable but he had to find a phone so he hired a room at Embassy Suites Hotel and from his room, he could see ambulances arriving and a big crowd of people, like the didn’t know what was happening and it was a very dangerous situation even though the Twin Towers burned down in front of them. Then he was on the air again, trying to convey the scene unfolding around him, suddenly 2WTC collapsed and then phone line went dead. A voice on the tannoy instructed people to leave urgently. Stephen was still eager to get on the air so I made a deal with a local television company: he gave them his eyewitness account if they filmed him and gave him the tape. As they recorded the, the north tower collapsed behind him. And suddenly the danger became very real for him and he remembers thinking: ‘That cloud is coming at me faster than I can run’, so he ran, but as good luck would have it, the cloud stopped short of him.
The priest Brian Carroll also experienced the towers collapsing. He was walking down 6th Avenue right around the corner from his Church of St Francis of Assisi when the firs plane crashed into the World Trade Center. He yelled but people just thought he was a maniac. He was in shock and rushed back to the friary and alerted Fr Mychal Judge and said what he thought was just an accident and Fr Mychal hurried off. So Brian did the exact opposing thing than Stephen, Brian called for help while Brian just wanted to go on the air.
Fr Mychal died in the collapse, and was placed in the 31st Street firehouse and the friars prayed over Mychal late in the afternoon. Brian Carroll says Mychal will be missed and died among those whom he loved and served.
Answer no.2
Betsy Hearne is comparing the bird phoenix with the American nation. A phoenix always arises from its ashes and is a symbol on Christianity. So the symbol, a phoenix, symbolises the American people, they have suffered when the two twin towers crashed, but they will also arise from they ‘ashes’ that is they will recover.
Answer no.3
To protect ourselves against terrorism in the future we could ban some of the internet sites that talks about the organisations who forms terrorists. In that way it will be harder to know what to do when one wants to be a terrorist. We can also do what we already are doing. Sending soldiers to capture the ‘big men’, the ones who are the presidents who each organisation who wants to do terrorism.
With focus on: terrorism
Answer no.1
The first text is about a man named Stephen Evans, and he works for BBC, and a number of British newspapers. He’s telling us about September 1. the day the two twin towers in New York collapsed. Stephen Evans arrived early in the morning half past eight in one of the twin towers to interview an economist. Stephen remembers the day as stunningly beautiful, warm and ordinary. He was a little early so he waited in the vast lobby. But suddenly he felt a big thud like a huge iron door slamming. Outside he could see smoke and people who streamed past him trough the lobby. He also remembers that no one was panicking – just a determined movement away from trouble.
Stephen left the place and heard people were telling each other that a plane had crashed into the building at 8.47 am, but he just thought it was an accident. Although he knew he had to get on the air so he lent a phone from a newsagent. Stephen rang the editor on duty in London and was soon broadcasting and as he was talking, the second plane crashed into 2WTC at 9.03 am and the newsagent took his phone back. For Stephen the whole situation seemed unbelievable but he had to find a phone so he hired a room at Embassy Suites Hotel and from his room, he could see ambulances arriving and a big crowd of people, like the didn’t know what was happening and it was a very dangerous situation even though the Twin Towers burned down in front of them. Then he was on the air again, trying to convey the scene unfolding around him, suddenly 2WTC collapsed and then phone line went dead. A voice on the tannoy instructed people to leave urgently. Stephen was still eager to get on the air so I made a deal with a local television company: he gave them his eyewitness account if they filmed him and gave him the tape. As they recorded the, the north tower collapsed behind him. And suddenly the danger became very real for him and he remembers thinking: ‘That cloud is coming at me faster than I can run’, so he ran, but as good luck would have it, the cloud stopped short of him.
The priest Brian Carroll also experienced the towers collapsing. He was walking down 6th Avenue right around the corner from his Church of St Francis of Assisi when the firs plane crashed into the World Trade Center. He yelled but people just thought he was a maniac. He was in shock and rushed back to the friary and alerted Fr Mychal Judge and said what he thought was just an accident and Fr Mychal hurried off. So Brian did the exact opposing thing than Stephen, Brian called for help while Brian just wanted to go on the air.
Fr Mychal died in the collapse, and was placed in the 31st Street firehouse and the friars prayed over Mychal late in the afternoon. Brian Carroll says Mychal will be missed and died among those whom he loved and served.
Answer no.2
Betsy Hearne is comparing the bird phoenix with the American nation. A phoenix always arises from its ashes and is a symbol on Christianity. So the symbol, a phoenix, symbolises the American people, they have suffered when the two twin towers crashed, but they will also arise from they ‘ashes’ that is they will recover.
Answer no.3
To protect ourselves against terrorism in the future we could ban some of the internet sites that talks about the organisations who forms terrorists. In that way it will be harder to know what to do when one wants to be a terrorist. We can also do what we already are doing. Sending soldiers to capture the ‘big men’, the ones who are the presidents who each organisation who wants to do terrorism.
Svar #1
01. november 2006 af Katrine (Slettet)
Lige en lille bemærkning; det var 11. september, du har skrevet 1. Derudover bruger man på engelsk ikke punktummet efter tallene. Så enten 11 September, Semptember 11, the 11th of September ELLER September 11th. :)
Svar #2
01. november 2006 af TanteOda (Slettet)
1)
The first text is about a man named Stephen Evans, and he works for BBC, and a number of British newspapers.
> Ikke "and" to gange i træk - vi vil hellere have en opremsning:
The first text is about a man named Stephen Evans, he works for BBC, and a number of British newspapers.
2)
Vigtigt at du får det med som Katrine skriver! Allerede i starten...!
3)
"Stephen remembers the day as stunningly beautiful, warm and ordinary"
>Altid komma før "and" i en engelsk opremsning modsat en dansk.
4)
"He was a little early so he waited in the vast lobby"
>Mangler et komma
5)
"just a determined movement away from trouble."
>Forstår jeg ikke, det i forhold til kontekst.
6)
"telling each other that a plane had crashed"
>Ville nok have brugt, "...heard people talking about a plane crash."
7)
"Although he knew he had to get on the air"
>What air are we talking bout?
Det er først i de næste par sætninger, man finder ud af hvilken air, der er tale om.
8)
"the second plane crashed into 2WTC at 9.03 am and the newsagent took his phone back"...
>Back from where?
9)
Efterfølgende mangler stilen en del komma.
Jeg har desværre ikke tid til at gennemgå hele stilen.
TanteOda
The first text is about a man named Stephen Evans, and he works for BBC, and a number of British newspapers.
> Ikke "and" to gange i træk - vi vil hellere have en opremsning:
The first text is about a man named Stephen Evans, he works for BBC, and a number of British newspapers.
2)
Vigtigt at du får det med som Katrine skriver! Allerede i starten...!
3)
"Stephen remembers the day as stunningly beautiful, warm and ordinary"
>Altid komma før "and" i en engelsk opremsning modsat en dansk.
4)
"He was a little early so he waited in the vast lobby"
>Mangler et komma
5)
"just a determined movement away from trouble."
>Forstår jeg ikke, det i forhold til kontekst.
6)
"telling each other that a plane had crashed"
>Ville nok have brugt, "...heard people talking about a plane crash."
7)
"Although he knew he had to get on the air"
>What air are we talking bout?
Det er først i de næste par sætninger, man finder ud af hvilken air, der er tale om.
8)
"the second plane crashed into 2WTC at 9.03 am and the newsagent took his phone back"...
>Back from where?
9)
Efterfølgende mangler stilen en del komma.
Jeg har desværre ikke tid til at gennemgå hele stilen.
TanteOda
Svar #3
02. november 2006 af gittemaja (Slettet)
ok tak :) er der nogen andre der gider kigge på den? her er den efter rettelsen
English paper
With focus on: terrorism
Answer no.1
The first text is about a man named Stephen Evans he works for BBC, and a number of British newspapers. He’s telling us about September 11 the day the two twin towers in New York collapsed. Stephen Evans arrived early in the morning half past eight in one of the twin towers to interview an economist. Stephen remembers the day as stunningly beautiful warm, and ordinary. He was a little early, so he waited in the lobby. But suddenly he felt a big thud like a huge iron door slamming. Outside he could see smoke and people who streamed past him trough the lobby. He also remembers that no one was panicking – just a movement away from trouble.
Stephen left the place and heard people talking about a plane crash. The plane had flown into the building at 8.47 am, but he just thought it was an accident. Although he knew he had to get on the air so he lent a phone from a newsagent. Stephen rang the editor on duty in London and was soon broadcasting and as he was talking, the second plane crashed into 2WTC at 9.03 am and the newsagent took his phone back from Stephen. For Stephen the whole situation seemed unbelievable but he had to find a phone so he hired a room at Embassy Suites Hotel and from his room, he could see ambulances arriving and a big crowd of people, like the didn’t know what was happening and it was a very dangerous situation even though the Twin Towers burned down in front of them. Then he was on the air again, trying to convey the scene unfolding around him, suddenly 2WTC collapsed and then phone line went dead. A voice on the tannoy instructed people to leave urgently. Stephen was still eager to get on the air so I made a deal with a local television company: he gave them his eyewitness account if they filmed him and gave him the tape. As they recorded the, the north tower collapsed behind him. And suddenly the danger became very real for him and he remembers thinking: ‘That cloud is coming at me faster than I can run’, so he ran, but as good luck would have it, the cloud stopped short of him.
The priest Brian Carroll also experienced the towers collapsing. He was walking down 6th Avenue right around the corner from his Church of St Francis of Assisi when the firs plane crashed into the World Trade Center. He yelled but people just thought he was a maniac. He was in shock and rushed back to the friary and alerted Fr Mychal Judge and said what he thought was just an accident and Fr Mychal hurried off. So Brian did the exact opposing thing than Stephen, Brian called for help while Brian just wanted to go on the air.
Fr Mychal died in the collapse, and was placed in the 31st Street firehouse and the friars prayed over Mychal late in the afternoon. Brian Carroll says Mychal will be missed and died among those whom he loved and served.
Answer no.2
Betsy Hearne is comparing the bird phoenix with the American nation. A phoenix always arises from its ashes and is a symbol on Christianity. So the symbol, a phoenix, symbolises the American people, they have suffered when the two twin towers crashed, but they will also arise from they ‘ashes’ that is they will recover.
Answer no.3
To protect ourselves against terrorism in the future we could ban some of the internet sites that talks about the organisations who forms terrorists. In that way it will be harder to know what to do when one wants to be a terrorist. We can also do what we already are doing. Sending soldiers to capture the ‘big men’, the ones who are the presidents who each organisation who wants to do terrorism.
English paper
With focus on: terrorism
Answer no.1
The first text is about a man named Stephen Evans he works for BBC, and a number of British newspapers. He’s telling us about September 11 the day the two twin towers in New York collapsed. Stephen Evans arrived early in the morning half past eight in one of the twin towers to interview an economist. Stephen remembers the day as stunningly beautiful warm, and ordinary. He was a little early, so he waited in the lobby. But suddenly he felt a big thud like a huge iron door slamming. Outside he could see smoke and people who streamed past him trough the lobby. He also remembers that no one was panicking – just a movement away from trouble.
Stephen left the place and heard people talking about a plane crash. The plane had flown into the building at 8.47 am, but he just thought it was an accident. Although he knew he had to get on the air so he lent a phone from a newsagent. Stephen rang the editor on duty in London and was soon broadcasting and as he was talking, the second plane crashed into 2WTC at 9.03 am and the newsagent took his phone back from Stephen. For Stephen the whole situation seemed unbelievable but he had to find a phone so he hired a room at Embassy Suites Hotel and from his room, he could see ambulances arriving and a big crowd of people, like the didn’t know what was happening and it was a very dangerous situation even though the Twin Towers burned down in front of them. Then he was on the air again, trying to convey the scene unfolding around him, suddenly 2WTC collapsed and then phone line went dead. A voice on the tannoy instructed people to leave urgently. Stephen was still eager to get on the air so I made a deal with a local television company: he gave them his eyewitness account if they filmed him and gave him the tape. As they recorded the, the north tower collapsed behind him. And suddenly the danger became very real for him and he remembers thinking: ‘That cloud is coming at me faster than I can run’, so he ran, but as good luck would have it, the cloud stopped short of him.
The priest Brian Carroll also experienced the towers collapsing. He was walking down 6th Avenue right around the corner from his Church of St Francis of Assisi when the firs plane crashed into the World Trade Center. He yelled but people just thought he was a maniac. He was in shock and rushed back to the friary and alerted Fr Mychal Judge and said what he thought was just an accident and Fr Mychal hurried off. So Brian did the exact opposing thing than Stephen, Brian called for help while Brian just wanted to go on the air.
Fr Mychal died in the collapse, and was placed in the 31st Street firehouse and the friars prayed over Mychal late in the afternoon. Brian Carroll says Mychal will be missed and died among those whom he loved and served.
Answer no.2
Betsy Hearne is comparing the bird phoenix with the American nation. A phoenix always arises from its ashes and is a symbol on Christianity. So the symbol, a phoenix, symbolises the American people, they have suffered when the two twin towers crashed, but they will also arise from they ‘ashes’ that is they will recover.
Answer no.3
To protect ourselves against terrorism in the future we could ban some of the internet sites that talks about the organisations who forms terrorists. In that way it will be harder to know what to do when one wants to be a terrorist. We can also do what we already are doing. Sending soldiers to capture the ‘big men’, the ones who are the presidents who each organisation who wants to do terrorism.
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