Engelsk
rettelse af stil
10. december 2007 af
Babeacius (Slettet)
Hej. tænkt på om der var nogen der lige gad se min stil igennem for fejl for det har gået rimelig skidt de sidste par gange.
The title “Absent” fit on the mother and her son. The son is taking drugs so he is absent and does not see have it effects the people around him and specially the mother. And the mother is absent because she is not in her son’s life and she is not trying to help him. While the son is doing drugs, skipping school and drinking she is just spectator to his and she does not do anything to help him. He does it he does not care about his mother or any one else for that matter. They do not talk and have a distant relationship. The mother is very weak and afraid to stand up to her son. “She didn’t really want to know what he did with his time; ignored the enlarged pupils, the empty whisky bottles in his room, the scars on his wrists”1. She knows what he is doing, but if she says anything to him she is afraid that he leaves her and she would be all alone. The texts mention a father, but he is not with them anymore. “She had been proud of her cooking, and it had probably been the deciding element in her marriage”2. We hear that they have been a family, but I do not believe that it have been a good positive marriage, because the texts says that the cooking probably was the deciding element in the marriage. It sounds like they have been forced to get married. But we do not know what had happened to the father. We just hear that he have been in their lives at some point, but he is not any more. Maybe he left them or past away.
The son must also take drugs for a reason. Maybe it started when the father was not there any more and he missed him or maybe his relationship with his mother. We do not know for sure. The mother is worried all the time, thinking about what he is up to and if he is okay. He is rarely home and does not contact her about where he is and when he is coming home. As I said early he does not care about her. He has come to the point in his life where everything does not matter anymore.
“She hadn’t usually had much money, but she always managed to conjure up something…”3.
I think that the mother and her son are living in a very poor neighbourhood. As I said before, the text mentions a father. Maybe the mother had a hard time paying the bills and buying food. ”The small, shabby kitchen was bare, the only food available being a very old tin and tuna and some crispbread, or at least crumbs of crispbread”4. They are poor, but she still does the best that she can to satisfy her son.
The themes of the story are about drugs and drinking and have it can effects people around you. The son does not care about how he doing drugs affects the mother. My uncle drinks a lot in the weekends and when he gets drunk he call home to my grandmother, because he knows that she is sitting up all night worried about him. That has affected her all her life but he does not care. That is what drugs and drinking makes you, a person that is indifferent. And you got to change it while you can and that is what the son realizes in the end. He realizes that he can not go on like this anymore. His life is a mess, he does not go to school and he is hurting his mother. When he finally realizes that this can not continue he dies in a motorbike accident. She needs him. And while she is home cooking she realizes the same thing. “As she chopped the vegetables, she reasoned with herself. He needed her too, he must do. But first they needed to get to know each other again. And they could do.” She starts she get hope back. She wants to help her son and have a relationship with him again. But while she stands there getting hope back and maybe her son too, the police comes knocking on the door. They are informing the mother about the news of her son. When they the police arrive the mother is making dinner. She loved to cook when they were a family and she is cooking when she realizes that she needs to help her son so they can be a family again.. But all hope disappears when the police tell her that he has past away.
På forhånd tak (:
The title “Absent” fit on the mother and her son. The son is taking drugs so he is absent and does not see have it effects the people around him and specially the mother. And the mother is absent because she is not in her son’s life and she is not trying to help him. While the son is doing drugs, skipping school and drinking she is just spectator to his and she does not do anything to help him. He does it he does not care about his mother or any one else for that matter. They do not talk and have a distant relationship. The mother is very weak and afraid to stand up to her son. “She didn’t really want to know what he did with his time; ignored the enlarged pupils, the empty whisky bottles in his room, the scars on his wrists”1. She knows what he is doing, but if she says anything to him she is afraid that he leaves her and she would be all alone. The texts mention a father, but he is not with them anymore. “She had been proud of her cooking, and it had probably been the deciding element in her marriage”2. We hear that they have been a family, but I do not believe that it have been a good positive marriage, because the texts says that the cooking probably was the deciding element in the marriage. It sounds like they have been forced to get married. But we do not know what had happened to the father. We just hear that he have been in their lives at some point, but he is not any more. Maybe he left them or past away.
The son must also take drugs for a reason. Maybe it started when the father was not there any more and he missed him or maybe his relationship with his mother. We do not know for sure. The mother is worried all the time, thinking about what he is up to and if he is okay. He is rarely home and does not contact her about where he is and when he is coming home. As I said early he does not care about her. He has come to the point in his life where everything does not matter anymore.
“She hadn’t usually had much money, but she always managed to conjure up something…”3.
I think that the mother and her son are living in a very poor neighbourhood. As I said before, the text mentions a father. Maybe the mother had a hard time paying the bills and buying food. ”The small, shabby kitchen was bare, the only food available being a very old tin and tuna and some crispbread, or at least crumbs of crispbread”4. They are poor, but she still does the best that she can to satisfy her son.
The themes of the story are about drugs and drinking and have it can effects people around you. The son does not care about how he doing drugs affects the mother. My uncle drinks a lot in the weekends and when he gets drunk he call home to my grandmother, because he knows that she is sitting up all night worried about him. That has affected her all her life but he does not care. That is what drugs and drinking makes you, a person that is indifferent. And you got to change it while you can and that is what the son realizes in the end. He realizes that he can not go on like this anymore. His life is a mess, he does not go to school and he is hurting his mother. When he finally realizes that this can not continue he dies in a motorbike accident. She needs him. And while she is home cooking she realizes the same thing. “As she chopped the vegetables, she reasoned with herself. He needed her too, he must do. But first they needed to get to know each other again. And they could do.” She starts she get hope back. She wants to help her son and have a relationship with him again. But while she stands there getting hope back and maybe her son too, the police comes knocking on the door. They are informing the mother about the news of her son. When they the police arrive the mother is making dinner. She loved to cook when they were a family and she is cooking when she realizes that she needs to help her son so they can be a family again.. But all hope disappears when the police tell her that he has past away.
På forhånd tak (:
Svar #1
10. december 2007 af Erik Morsing (Slettet)
Ok, jeg kigger på den, den er lidt lang, så jeg går ret hurtigt igennem og finder de værste fejl
Svar #2
10. december 2007 af Erik Morsing (Slettet)
The title “Absent” (fits) the mother and her son. The son is taking drugs so he is absent and does not see have it effects the people (her er jeg I tvivl om, hvad du mener??)
around him and specially (his) mother. And the mother is absent because she (has no part) in her son’s life and she is not trying to help him. While the son is (taking) drugs, skipping school and drinking she is just (a) spectator to his (doings), and she does not do anything to help him. He does it he does not care about his mother or (anyone) else for that matter. They do not talk and have a distant relationship. The mother is very weak and afraid to stand up to her son. “She didn’t really want to know what he did with his time; ignored the enlarged pupils, the empty whisky bottles in his room, the scars on his (wrists”1)?. She knows what he is doing, but if she says anything to him she is afraid that he (is going to) her and she would be all alone. The texts mention a father, but he is not with them anymore. “She had been proud of her cooking, and it had probably been the deciding element in her marriage”2. We hear that they have been a family, but I do not believe that it have been a good positive marriage, because the (text) says that the cooking probably was the deciding element in (their) marriage. It sounds like they have been forced (into getting) married. But we do not know what had happened to the father. We just hear that he (has) been (part of) their lives (to some extent), but he is not any more. Maybe he left them or past away.
The son must also take drugs for a reason. Maybe it started when the father was not there any more and he missed him or maybe his relationship with his mother. We do not know for sure. The mother is worried all the time, thinking about what he is up to and if he is okay. He is rarely (at) home and does not (tell her his whereabouts) and when he is coming home. As I said (earlier) he does not care about her. He has come to the point in his life where everything does not matter anymore.
“She hadn’t usually had much money, but she always managed to conjure up something…”3.
I think that the mother and her son are living in a very poor (neighborhood). As I said before, the text mentions a father. Maybe the mother had a hard time paying the bills and buying food. ”The small, shabby kitchen was bare, the only food available being a very old tin and tuna and some (crisp bread), or at least crumbs of crispbread”4. They are poor, but she still does the best that she can to satisfy her son.
The themes of the story are about drugs and drinking and (how) it can (affect) people around you. The son does not care about how (he doing drugs affects the mother) forstår ikke hvad du vil sige her?.
My uncle drinks a lot (during) the weekends and when he gets drunk he (rings) home to my grandmother, because he knows that she is sitting up all night (worrying) about him. (This) has affected her all her life but he does not care. That is what drugs and drinking (does to) you, (in the end an indifferent person). And you got to change it while you can and that is what the son realizes in the end. He realizes that he (cannot) go on like this anymore. His life is a mess, he does not go to school and he is hurting his mother. When he finally realizes that this (cannot) continue he dies in a motorbike accident. She needs him. And while she is home cooking she realizes the same thing. “As she chopped the vegetables, she reasoned with herself. He needed her too, he must do. But first they needed to get to know each other again. And they could do.” She starts (getting her hope) back. She wants to help her son and have a relationship with him again. But while she stands there getting (her) hope back and maybe her son too, the police come knocking on the door. They (tell) the mother about the news of her son. When they the police arrive the mother is making dinner. She loved to cook when they were a family and she is cooking when she realizes that she needs to help her son so (that) they can be a family again.. But all hope disappears when the police tell her that he has past away.
Svar #3
10. december 2007 af Babeacius (Slettet)
Tusind tak. har du nogen kommentar til min stil? den måde den er skrvet på?
Svar #4
10. december 2007 af Erik Morsing (Slettet)
ja, den er såmænd meget god, men der var vist lidt unødvendige gentagelser ikke?
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