Engelsk

Engelsk Aflevering.

09. december 2007 af derian (Slettet)
Hejsa allesammen.

Jeg sidder med følgende engelsk aflevering som jeg mangler lidt hjælp til liige at få rettet igennem. Jeg håber nogen af jer derude vil kigge den igennem.

Character sketch
I have chosen to compare the young girl from “Champagne Flight” and Tommy from “The Death of Tommy Grimes”. I have pointed those particular persons out because they develop in two completely opposite ways. The girl from Champagne Flight wants to skip childhood and just grow up, as soon as possible, to accept her own age and starts acting like a 16-year old. Tommy goes from being unsure about his future and whether he really wants to be like his father or not, to actually looking forward to it.

Tommy Grimes:
Tommy is a 12 year old boy, who lives somewhere in the U.S.A with both his parents (probably in Mississippi, line 8 page 45). The whole story is taking place in a time before the civil war (before 1861). Hunting plays a vital role in the community Tommy lives in. Despite his father, “the boys” and the rest of the society, Tommy doesn’t like killing. (I can tell from line 6-15 on page 39). Tommy’s father is aware of that (as seen on line 19-20 page 39) and obviously he gets a little embarrassed when the other men bragged about their boys being good hunters (seen on line 26-28 page 40). Tommy realizes that, and in order to fit in, and be a part of the community (consisting of his father, “the boys” and all the other hunters in the village) he needs to accept the fact “that some varmints do damage and just plain got to be killed”. Tommy wants to make his father proud, so he eagerly starts practicing shooting with the rifle. After a while, Tommy is ready to see if he is able to make his first kill. He goes out buck hunting with his father. He managed to kill a runaway-slave with a shot that pierced right through the heart of the slave. – This is even better than killing a predator, and the above-mentioned situation results, that Tommy finally gets accepted as a man. Even though Tommy wasn’t quite happy about killing the slave, he is overwhelmed with pride.

Champagne Flight:
The teenager from the story is a 16 years old girl, who also acts like the narrator throughout the whole story. The Narrator’s parents have moved to Washington because her father was in the services and had to move to another posting in Washington, and as soon as she has finished her school-term she was going to join them in Washington. The girl obviously wants to be older- and more grown up than she is as seen on the very first line (line 1, page 14). – This is also supported by line 3-6 on page 15 --> “Actually, I did think I looked grown-up” – “My hair was brushed back from my face, because a friend had told me it made me look older” – “Oh yes… I felt definitely old”. As mentioned, this pretty much describes how she seeks to be older than she is, although she still finds herself being unsure about whether to accept alcohol in the flight (line 10-16 page 15). However in order to retain the feeling of being a grown-up she doesn’t reject when she is offered wine, as a matter of fact she says (without greater thoughtfulness): “Oh, red, please” (red/white). (She actually seems a bit flattered that someone would mistake her for being a grown-up). --> Line 17-18, page 15.
The narrator is fascinated by Serena Sinclairs exciting life as a “singer” (line 9, page 17). The narrator doesn’t seem to discover any signs that Serena might not be a singer (line 14-15 page 17): “I could even get you a job. You’d be real good. They like them young.” In spite of everything the narrator realizes that it’s not always a happy fairytale to be a grown-up, when she experiences that Serena in fact was an old stripper; and not a singer.

Brugbart svar (0)

Svar #1
09. december 2007 af aisha_123 (Slettet)

Jeg læste den igennem, og jeg kunne ikke finde fejl i den!
(Men det kan det alligevel forekomme, selvom man har læst teksten igennem og har rettet for fejl!)


Svar #2
09. december 2007 af derian (Slettet)

Okay. Tak fordi du gad at give den et kort kig, jeg værdsætter det.
Hvad nivuea har du engelsk på?

Brugbart svar (0)

Svar #3
09. december 2007 af aisha_123 (Slettet)

Ingen problem!

På B-niveau.

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Svar #4
09. december 2007 af Da-ted (Slettet)

despite his father, “the boys” and the rest of the society, Tommy doesn’t like killing. <-- Doesn't burde rettes til does not. Doesn't er "taleengelsk"

This is even better than killing a predator, and the above-mentioned situation results, that Tommy finally gets accepted as a.. <-- to result in [something]? (ikke sikker)

Even though Tommy wasn’t <-- samme som ved doesn't

soon as she has finished her school-term she was going to join them in Washington <-- Tid. Brug had i stedet for has

she doesn’t reject <-- samme som doesn't

narrator realizes that it’s not always <-- samme som doesn't

Dem jeg lige hurtigt kunne finde. Meget flot stil ellers. Der er måske nogle steder hvor du skal passe lidt på tiden. Du skriver i nutid, men efter dine citater som er holdt i datid, virker det lidt som om du har en tendens til at fortsætte i datid i din analyse.

Jeg har engelsk på B-niveau, hvis det betyder noget.

Brugbart svar (0)

Svar #5
09. december 2007 af Da-ted (Slettet)

despite his father, “the boys” and the rest of the society, Tommy doesn’t like killing. <-- der mangler desuden et "wishes" eller noget lignende her - efter min mening

Svar #6
09. december 2007 af derian (Slettet)

Tusind tak begge to.
Ja, det med tale-engelsk er jeg slem til. Tak for det med datid-nutid, det kigger jeg på.

Niveauet betyder skam ikke noget, det er bare ren interesse. ^__^

Mange tak!


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