Engelsk oversættelse

Hej er der ikke nogen der har lyst til at rette det her for mig?
Danske version:
Når hun gjorde rent i hans værelse, bemærkede hun undertiden, at der var spor af brændt tøj i kaminen. Det undgik heller ikke hendes opmærksomhed, at når alle de andre i huset diskuterede det sidste grufulde mord, viste han ringe interesse eller slet ingen. De to gamle mennesker var rystede. Kunne denne pæne unge mand virkelig være den sindssyge morder? Selvfølgelig overvejede de at gå til politiet; Men så tog hans sygdom en alvorglig vending, og hans mor kom og hentede ham hjem til Bournemouth. Fra det øjeblik hørte morderne op, og et par måneder senere fik de af vide, at han var død.

Min version:
When she cleaned up his room, she noticed from time to time, that there were marks of burned clothing in the fireplace. Neither didn’t it avoid her attention that when everybody else in the house discussed the last horrifying murder, he showed small interest or none at all. The two old people were shocked. Could this nice young man really be the insane murderer?
Off cause they considered to go to the police; but then his disease took a serious turn, and his mother came and took him home to Bournemouth. From that moment the murders stopped, and a couple of month later they herd that he was dead.