Skriftlige eksamen - Klage

foresten er rachel ikke fortælleren.. så du har også misforstået teksten

omfg det er sku da klart du har fået 02, hvis du før har fået så gode karaktere så sys jeg du skal læse den still igen, der er gode træk, men dit sprog er mega dårligt...

Der er nogle fejl i den sproglige afdeling, ja.

Jeg tror dog, at en stor del af årsagen til, du ikke har fået en bedre karakter er, at din analyse er forholdsvis overfladisk.

Der er mange ting at tage fat på i denne novelle: Flora, som tager sin søsters kjole, fordi hun ønsker at påtage sig Rachels identitet - familiens elendige kommunikation, som til slut symboliseres af den begravede kjole, som aldrig vil komme op igen. Moderen, der til hverdag arbejder som terapeut, men alligevel ikke har styr på sit liv, og i øvrigt ikke kan udkommunikere nogle af de eksistentielle tanker, hun formodentlig går rund med.

Du skal tænke på, at novellen er skrevet i en postmodernistisk periode, hvor samfundskritik er den væsentligste del af litteraturen, og mangel på kommunikation er klart et af de største temaer.

jeg skrev valgte at skrive om det samme, er gået meget mere i dynten fik 7 pil op:)

Jeg skrev den også og fik 12. :)

 Jeg er meget enig med Marie, du mangler at tage fat på nogle af de samfundsrelaterede emner, som de eksempler marie giver.

Men Marie-lp, kan vi ikke se din stil så? :-)

Ja kunne også godt tænke mig at læse din stil..!

Mette

Det kan I i hvert fald :) There you go..

The Dress

Throughout the last decades lack of communication has developed into a way of living for many people. The post-modern society focuses on the individual and thereby breaks down important relations between families, friends and colleagues. This is a period that interferes with the traditional family structure and makes individuals lonely and materialistic, because identity is a fanciful concept that is hard to find.
The short story “The Dress” written by Julia Daring brings up some interesting subjects in its themes and symbolism. “The Dress” tells the story of a typical modern family: divorced parents and two daughters who live with their mother. The mother who works as a bereavement counsellor is rather important in the short story, because she is the only thing her daughters have in common, but in spite of that she does not at any time step into character and gather her small family. When the omniscient narrator speaks on her behalf she seems unconcentrated and tired of the constant fighting between Rachel and Flora. (Pp. 9, l. 76) “The mother’s head ached. She wanted the meal to be over. She wanted her daughters to make an effort. She filled up her daughters’ wine glasses and raised a glass in the air. “Larry, leave off!” squawked the woman”. The reader gets to know what the mother is thinking, and her not being able to speak her mind makes people care less about her and her opinion. When she raises her glass to make a toast to herself, she is interrupted by the birthday party in the next room. No-one is thinking about the mother’s birthday as a happy occasion, but as a duty that is to be over any minute. The mother clearly feels lonely – every time she tries to light up the mood, the conversation changes to be about Rachel’s dress and the implicit issues with it. Although we do not hear much about the girls’ father, we get the idea that he and the mother are separated or divorced. The father lives someplace else, and perhaps the mother has not moved on yet, which is quite ironic since she works as a bereavement counsellor and therefore should be able to “heal” herself. As mentioned before, the mother has some issues with handling her two daughters. Probably because she is already filled up with her own problems and therefore is short of time and energy. In the end when Flora admits that she stole the dress, the mother – by her profession – should have dealt with the confrontation in a much more constructive way than she does. What she doesn’t understand is the reasons why Flora stole the dress – she just degrades her daughter to a simple thief, when all Flora wanted was to be acknowledged for her personal values.
Rachel and Flora are presumably in their late teens born a short time apart, which makes it hard to justify that Flora stole the dress – but of course there are underlying reasons why she did it and also why Flora gets this furious. The short story is structured in a way that makes the reader identify with each woman – separately. It starts in medias res and the only thing we are told is that Rachel is angry with her sister and as it goes along that her dress is missing. (Pp. 8, l. 14) She stared at the place where she had left the dress, ironed and ready to wear that night for their mother’s birthday. (...) Rachel picked up the hanger and threw it onto the floor. She wanted to hurt someone”. We get the impression that Rachel is a methodical person, and that she does not let her emotions carry her away when they are inappropriate. She is thinking that she wants to hurt someone, but she never does. Flora on the other hand is way more irresponsible. Her room is messy and she does not clean her dishes after she ate. The fact that she takes her sister’s dress shows that she wants to put on Rachel’s identity. (Pp. 8, l. 35) “It seemed to Flora that the dress was meant for her, not Rachel. It made her feel taller, braver, cleverer, and Rachel was all those things already”. Flora who is probably the younger sister wants to be the same things as Rachel and therefore she justifies her action by thinking that Rachel already possesses those values. It is mentioned that Rachel does not trust Flora, because she locks her room and that makes it easier for Flora to take the dress, as she does not wreck any trust. Rachel exaggerates her reaction a bit. Her anger is probably not caused by the missing dress alone, but the fact that Flora disturbs her plans. As the more responsible sister, Rachel may be used to dealing with a lot of problems – also in connection to the parents’ divorce. Both Rachel and Flora seems to have personal issues that they cannot talk about with each other, and therefore the problems are being projected into something concrete and less personal – like the dress. The dress therefore symbolizes different things. As mentioned the dress symbolizes identity when Flora steals it and puts it on, but when she stains it, it is interesting why she buries it instead of telling her sister that she is sorry. The reason why she does chooses to act this way is that the general lack of communication breaks down the simple understanding and forgiveness a nuclear family usually has. Therefore it seems easier for Flora to bury the dress and act like she doesn’t know what happened to it than to actually communicate with her sister. (Pp. 12, l. 196) “So the mother drank the rest of the wine and sat looking out at the black night, listening to footsteps in the street of people coming home from the bars in lively skittish groups. And the dress lay in the tired earth, smelling of dead birds in a porch in an empty house, and was forgotten”. The dress now symbolizes the different problems each of the women have that none of them are able to talk about and therefore they are lying in the dirt. The main issue is probably the divorce that the mother has not recovered from and the girls do not know much about. The fact that Flora buries the dress is also symbolic. (Pp. 12, l. 170) “Flora had taken the wet dress outside, and found a trowel. An icy wind blew the leaves from the trees. Weeping, she had dug a hole at the bottom of the garden, among the magnolia bushes. The earth has smelled of dead birds and empty houses. She had buried the dress, covering it with soil, then kicked dead leaves over the disturbed ground. The disturbed ground symbolizes Flora’s facade that she tries to maintain to cover up her pain and her problems that she cannot talk to anyone about. This is exactly the important theme in this text: lack of communication, which is something that is very characteristic for the post-modern society and it destroys many relationships and families on the inside. Several places in the story the three women speak past each other and not one of them has a clue of what is going on in the minds of the other two.
The post-modern society is still developing and unfortunately some bad things come with it – for example the bad communication. It is hard to break down the appearances of people, and therefore it is rare that we really get to see a person’s true identity, and if you think about it, it is rare that we ourselves let down the parades and show people our real self to the world around.

Words: 1.296

hvordan er the dress opbygget? hvad er morens rolle i teksten? og hvad er der af sympoler?

Rigtig flot stil. Da du fik denne til eksamen, hvor lang tid brugte du så på at analysere den? og valgte du at lave en struktur over indholdet inden du gik igang? (:

#3
Jeg fik selv 12 i engelsk b i sin tid, så jeg kan måske komme med lidt kritik. De ting jeg påpeger skal dog tages med et gran salt, idet jeg naturligvis ikke har opgavesættet ved min side eller kender til opgaveformuleringen. Derfor kommenterer jeg ikke det tekstmæssige indhold i stilen.

Lad os starte med at kigge på det formelle. Teksten indeholder knap 1200 ord, hvilket i mange øjne er for lidt til engelsk B. Normalt skal man styre efter 1500-2000 ord (3 hele sider). Der er desuden for mange citater - det ville min engelsklærer i al fald syntes. Desuden er der nok for mange hypotetiske sætninger, som ikke passer ind i stiltypen, uanset om det er et essay eller ej.

Af decideret sprog- og grammatiske fejl, er der er en del tunge fejl - fx er der en del kongruens fejl (navnlig ved tredje person ental), genitiv fejl og syntaks. Der er nogle kludrede sætninger, der indimellem afspejler den danske sætningsopbygning.

Skulle jeg have vurderet teksten, ville en karakter nok lyde på et godt 7-tal.