Engelsk - ændring til nutid

Hey folks!
- Jeg blev stillet til opgave at ændre et stykke tekst, således at nutid blev til tekstens centraltid. Citaterne skal dog ikke ændres.

Nu vil jeg bare gerne vide om jeg har lavet det rigtigt eller forkert :)

Original tekst:
From Tutshill Primary, Jo went to Wyedean Comprehensive. She was quiet, freckly, short-sighted and not very good at sports. She even broke her arm playing netball. Her favourite subject by far was English, but she also liked languages.
Jo always loved writing more than anything. 'The first story that I ever wrote down, when I was five or six, was about a rabbit called Rabbit. He got the measles and was visited by his friends, including a giant bee called Miss Bee. And ever since Rabbit and Miss Bee, I have wanted to be a writer, though I rarely told anyone so. I was afraid they'd tell me I didn't have a hope.'
At school, Jo would entertain her friends at lunchtime with stories. 'I used to tell my equally quiet and studious friends long serial stories at lunchtimes.' In these stories, Jo and her friends would be heroic and daring.
As she got older, Jo kept writing but she never showed what she had written to anyone, except for some of her funny stories that featured her friends as heroines.

Min ændring:
From Tutshill Primary, Jo went to Wyedean Comprehensive. She is quiet, freckly, short-sighted and not very good at sports. She even broke her arm playing netball. Her favourite subject by far was English, but she also like languages.
Jo always love writing more than anything. 'The first story that I ever wrote down, when I was five or six, was about a rabbit called Rabbit. He got the measles and was visited by his friends, including a giant bee called Miss Bee. And ever since Rabbit and Miss Bee, I have wanted to be a writer, though I rarely told anyone so. I was afraid they'd tell me I didn't have a hope.'
At school, Jo entertain her friends at lunchtime with stories. 'I used to tell my equally quiet and studious friends long serial stories at lunchtimes.' In these stories, Jo and her friends is heroic and daring.
As she gets older, Jo keep writing but she never shows what she writes to anyone, except for some of her funny stories that features her friends as heroines.

Tak på forhånd! :)