HASTER HASTER engelsk

Hej jeg har skrevet en engelsk stil men det er ikke mit bedste fag så tænkte på om nogle ville kigge min stil igennem og retten den for fejl, den skal afleveres i morgen men håber virkelig nogle kan/vil hjælpe mig i denne forhastede situation!! Det ville bare betyde rigtig meget! :) Gerne en der har det på B eller A Niveau eller bare en som er ret profesionel i faget,!
Det behøver ikke t være helt vildt grundigt bare de meget synlige fejl!

Mvh Amalie :)

Min stil lyder sådan:

Here is there written a declaration summer 1917 against war. The writer speaks to the military authority and the politician mistakes about how they exploit the soldiers. He is also a soldier and therefore he knows what they are going through. He wants to fight for their security, he thinks that it´s deception and they have to stop this war of aggression and conquest. The writer is shocked because this war should have been clearly stated as to have made it impossible to change them. And he hopes that what he has written in this text can do something about it.

The writer’s situation is really upset, because he is a soldier too, and he knows what they are going through and he is conscious about that if they would could they with no doubt stop the war. In his situation he uses ethos, because it is writer which is in Centre he describe how he feels, and he talks to reader’s reliability hoping they will understand. By telling them that professional in this subject and he knows what they are going throw. He is worried about how long they will continue exposing the soldiers of this nightmare. And extension of these suffering is insensitive and he can´t handle it anymore.

In this declaration he talks about how the war has transformed itself from a defence and liberation war, to a war of aggression and conquest. But know he can´t take it anymore, he have seen and endured the pain of the troops which he thinks is unfair and insensibly. But it is not the conduct of the war he protest against, it´s the political mistakes and the falseness. The war is being conscious prolonged by those who have the strength to make a different and end the war. And because of these mistakes there are a lot of people who suffer. The writer hope that he can destroyed the complacency, because the soldiers know have a pain you can´t even imagine. And he is sure that he acting on behalf of soldier, and hope that this declaration can appeal to all the feelings.

The writer´s language is formal. You can feel his anger in the declaration but he has written it on a balanced and sophisticated way. He uses Logos because he appeals to the political sanity, and relates to the case. There is also used ethos because he tries to convince the others reliability. And finally there is used pathos which appeal to the feelings, he hopes that they can see their mistakes they have made and do something to it immediately. The sentences are long but still only with the most important details. His word is descriptive about his situations and feelings, but it´s not boorish. The sentence structure is hypotactic because there is used many words like that, as, because. So even if he is upset he says it on a good rational way.

So his intention with this declaration is that the politician error has to repair their mistakes. They have to realize that they create pain in every soldier both mental but also physically. He believed that the purpose for which he and his soldiers entered upon the war, it should have been clearly stated as to have made it not possible to change. So by using ethos, pathos and logos which trust and sanity he creates his opinion and wish they one day will understand and apologize. And he also believed that he can help to destroy the callous complacency as many people at home have, because the pain and sadness cannot described. The point of going to war is to help other people who need help, and not to make it a war of conquest which is about power and respect.