Engelsk

Fejl/rettelse i engelsk

30. januar kl. 14:20 af er34 - Niveau: 8. klasse

Hej er der nogen der lige vil læse min engelsk tekst som handler om at jeg skal planlægge en tur til New Zealand. Jeg vil gerne vide om jeg har nogle fejl i teksten, så jeg kan rette det:) her er teksten: 

My trip to New Zealand
I’ve watched many documentaries about New Zealand, and its beautiful landscape and culture. I have always thought that it is so fascinating to watch, so I want to experience it. A trip to New Zealand it’s also on my bucket list. That’s the main reason why I am going to travel, to New Zealand with one of my best friends, Jonathan, and when we are growing up as an adult, we can look back and smile, at the remembrance of our first trip together. We will leave at the 21st of March and come back on March 26th, which is 5 days. We are going to fly with an airline named Qatar Airways, I’ve traveled with Qatar Airways before when I was traveling to India with my family. It was a great experience flying with it. That is why I chose to take that airline with friends even though its more expensive than other airlines. We will be flying with a direct flight. The airplane will take off at 5 pm, and we will arrive at Auckland airport at 3 pm the next day, so on 22nd march.
When we arrive, we rented a car, so we can drive to the motel we are staying at, and because we can drive to the destinations, we want to visit ourselves. We are staying in a motel near the centrum of Auckland because it is way cheaper than staying in a hotel.
One of the things we want to experience its bungee jumping and the perfect place to do that is sky tower. Sky Tower is a telecommunication and observation tower in Auckland, it is 1076 feet (ca. 328 meters) tall. It is mostly known for bungee jumping. It’s going to be a nerve-wracking experience, but it is also on my bucket list, so I will hopefully achieve that goal.
I want to see and experience the Maori culture in New Zealand, one of the things I will do its watch a Maori Cultural Performance. In Auckland War Memorial Museum there is a daily performance that takes you on a moving journey, through the story of Auckland and New Zealand while they are dressed in a traditional dress.
The whole adventure would cost for us both will cost about 6700 New Zealand dollars, which is 29.700 Krones. We will split the price, so I am going to pay 3350 New Zealand dollars.


Brugbart svar (1)

Svar #1
30. januar kl. 18:02 af Stygotius

De markerede ord må rettes

My trip to New Zealand
I’ve watched many documentaries about New Zealand, and its beautiful landscape and culture. I have always thought that it is so fascinating to watch, so I want to experience it. A trip to New Zealand it’s also on my bucket list. That’s the main reason why I am going to travel, to New Zealand with one of my best friends, Jonathan, and when we are growing up as an adult, we can look back and smile, at the remembrance (dette er sprogligt nonsense) of our first trip together. We will leave at the 21st of March and come back on March 26th, which is 5 days (nonsens). We are going to fly with an airline named Qatar Airways, I’ve traveled with Qatar Airways before when I was traveling to India with my family. It was a great experience flying with it. That is why I chose to take that airline with friends even though its more expensive than other airlines. We will be flying with a direct flight. The airplane will take off at 5 pm, and we will arrive at Auckland airport at 3 pm the next day, so on 22nd march???.
When we arrive, we rented a car, so we can drive to the motel we are staying at, and because we can drive to the destinations, we want to visit ourselves???. We are staying in a motel near the centrum of Auckland because it is way cheaper than staying in a hotel.
One of the things we want to experience its bungee jumping and the perfect place to do that is sky tower. Sky Tower is a telecommunication and observation tower in Auckland, it is 1076 feet (ca. 328 meters) tall. It is mostly known for bungee jumping. It’s going to be a nerve-wracking experience, but it is also on my bucket list, so I will hopefully achieve that goal.
I want to see and experience the Maori culture in New Zealand, one of the things I will do its watch a Maori Cultural Performance. In Auckland War Memorial Museum there is a daily performance that takes you on a moving journey, through the story of Auckland and New Zealand while they (who?) are dressed in a traditional dress.
The whole adventure would cost for us both will cost about 6700 New Zealand dollars, which is 29.700 Krones. We will split the price, so I am going to pay 3350 New Zealand dollars.


Svar #2
30. januar kl. 20:16 af er34

Tak, men må jeg spørge hvad sprogligt nonsense osv er? 


Brugbart svar (1)

Svar #3
30. januar kl. 20:23 af Stygotius

Ja, -marts er vel ikke 5 dage. Det er ulogisk at skrive det.

Desuden skal ordet "price" i den sidste linje udskiftes med "costs".


Svar #4
30. januar kl. 20:25 af er34

Men jeg mener jo at vi er væk i 5 dage


Brugbart svar (1)

Svar #5
30. januar kl. 20:26 af Stygotius

At du mener det, gør det ikke bedre. Det giver stadig ingen mening.


Svar #6
30. januar kl. 20:30 af er34

Okay, der er nogle af tingene jeg ikke forstår hvorfor du har markeret, måske er det fordi jeg kun går i 8.klasse, men kan du f.eks forklare hvorfor "with a direct fligth" er forkert osv? undskyld jeg bliver ved med at spørge


Brugbart svar (1)

Svar #7
30. januar kl. 20:35 af Stygotius

Det er helt  i orden at du spørger. Der findes ikke  dumme spørgsmål  -kun dumme svar.

....Det hedder "on a direct flight".

Jeg ville råde dig til at få lært noget om  simple og udvidede tider på engelsk


Svar #8
30. januar kl. 20:39 af er34

hvad er der fejlt ved her? "and when we are growing up as an adult, we can look back and smile, at the remembrance " jeg var ellers så glad over denne sætning haha...


Brugbart svar (0)

Svar #9
30. januar kl. 21:00 af Stygotius

Det skulle have været: ".....and when we have grown up and are adults, we can look back and revive/refresh our memories."

remembrance = det at huske


Svar #10
30. januar kl. 21:01 af er34

nåå okay, jeg sættter pris på at du gad at læse teksten og hjælpe mig med mine fejl. Tak :)))


Brugbart svar (0)

Svar #11
30. januar kl. 21:02 af Stygotius

Selvfølgelig. Du er velkommen til at komme  igen hvis du har flere spørgsmål.

psst,  -det hedder "gad læse",  ikke "gad at læse".


Svar #12
30. januar kl. 21:03 af er34

Yes selfølgelig:)


Svar #13
30. januar kl. 21:06 af er34

De fejl hvor der er its i sætningerne er det fordi jeg har glemt at skrive it´s? 


Brugbart svar (0)

Svar #14
30. januar kl. 21:10 af Stygotius

Øh nej, at skrive it's (=it is) ville ikke have fået det i orden, men måske et "is".

Du har nok været  påvirket af  (sjusket), dansk (tale)sprog


Svar #15
30. januar kl. 21:12 af er34

okay tak. Du er bare en Legende


Brugbart svar (0)

Svar #16
30. januar kl. 21:15 af Stygotius

Jamen dog, tak for de smukke ord.


Svar #17
30. januar kl. 21:28 af er34

Nu hvor jeg har rettet de fleste ting, hvad ville du så give den i karakter? bare for sjov agtigt


Svar #18
30. januar kl. 21:33 af er34

Forresten min bror siger åbenbart den er "dårlig" osv fordi den mangler den røde tråd, er du enig i det?


Brugbart svar (0)

Svar #19
30. januar kl. 22:09 af Stygotius

Tjaa, du fortæller meget godt, men du skulle nok tænke  på at læseren skal få lyst til at rejse det samme sted hen, så du må prøve at gøre dine  oplevelser levende og konkrete for ham/hende. Det kniber det lidt med.

Dit engelske er for meget præget af en usikker (og upræcis) brug af ord og udtryk, og du er heller ikke  sikker i brugen af fremtid på engelsk. Det samme gælder (som jeg har sagt) din viden om simpel og udvide tid, og det fører  til misforståelser. Bed din lærer om at forklare det for dig,  -hvis han/hun kan.

Den røde tråd?  Jaa, joo, men en rejsebeskrivelse har jo ingen handling så det kommer nok ikke i første række.

En karakter?  tjaa, nok omkring 4-7, tror jeg.


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