Rette engelsk essay haster!:)

hjææælp :(

The Dress
                                  by Julia Darling

People nowadays have changed a lot. People will no longer be in big (large?) groups, but be individual. Family relationships are also bad. Parent’s easier divorce, and children will leave home in the early ages. Since we humans no longer have close relation to each other, and prefer to be individual, the material things will be in focus, and you will not be able to share things with each other so easily. Egoism enters into force when you do not think about others, but only think about yourself. The short story “The Dress” by Julia Darling is a good example, to show us the individual person, and how important a little materialistic thing is, when you don’t have good relations to each other. The dress in the story is a dress like any other dresses, but the dress actually leads to fragmentation/division of the family, and tell us about the individualism and materialism.
        The story “The Dress” by Julia Darling is about the relationship between two sisters, Rachel and Flora, but actually also their relationship to their mother. In the start, the story takes place in their house, where Rachel the biggest sister yelling her little sister Floras name. Rachel knows that Flora has taken her new beautiful dress, she would use to her mother’s birthday in the restaurant. The story starts(begins? A car starts and a story begins;) in medias res, were(where? https://www.supaproofread.com/article_info.php?articles_id=62) we in the start(beginning?) don’t know, what there are happened/happening(I don't know if anything is wrong, but it just doesn't sound correct to me. Might think about revising the structure of the sentence?). It is their mother’s birthday, and they celebrate her birthday in a restaurant. The story ends bad where Rachel leave (her) home, and (since she) wants to live with her dad, and Flora get(s) angry and go away (Sounds a little bit strange, how about using "runs away?")from their house, because of their mother which can't handle her daughter's problems.
          The text is written in a third person narrative, with an omniscient view, because the narrator knows everything about the persons and their thoughts. The point of view alternates between Flora, the mother and Rachel, so we hear the story from all sides. The story starts (begins) by (from) Rachel’s point of view, (but) in the middle of the story is it (it is) the mother’s point of view, and nearly at the end of the story is it from Flora’s point of view. It's good for the story that we get everyone's point of view, and not only by (Du behøver ikke at skrive "by" her. :) one of the characters. The narrator uses flashbacks to times (flashback er når du skifter tid, mener ikke at du behøver at forklare det) in the story, so the structure of the story is not directly chronological. The flashbacks is when Flora think about the dress she has stolen (stole) from her sister, and how she burned it.
          The mother is a 40 year old bereavement counsellor, and she don’t (don't = do not / doesn't = does not. Vælg hvad du synes lyder bedst, ved ikke lige pt. hvad er rigtigt) want to do her job any longer, because she need to help herself sometimes, and not always other people. In her job as bereavement counselor she helps other people with their problems, if they for example lost a family member. It is a really bad job for her, because when she comes home, she needs to have time to herself and her daughters, but she hasn’t (doesn't have) time to help them. When she leaves work, she needs a break and therefore she cannot handle her own problems with her daughters. The mother wants the best for her daughters, and she wants a happy and loving family. The mother has had enough of helping others with their problems, and therefore when her children have problems, she did not profit them, because she wants to be free of problems in her spare time. She needs to relax a bit and actually in her own birthday, she doesn’t want to think about problems.  “ She felt sorry for herself
all day she had sat with tearful needy people. It was her birthday, and she wanted to relax. She wanted to feel loved.” She wants some love, wants to be loved.  The mother is divorced, since Rachel in the end wants to live with her dad, and not the mother any longer, so actually it also tell us about the mother’s situation. She is an alone mother who needs love, she wants to stop focusing on others' problems and instead have people focus on herself and make her feel loved. She doesn't want to have to deal with more troubles, not even from her own daughters. When she tries to help her daughters, she does the same as she does to her patients, she lays a box of tissues in front of them, it shows that she just wants it over, and she cannot cope with problems longer.
                     Rachel and Flora are two completely different people.  Rachel, who is the oldest girl, is in the story “the perfect girl,” and Flora is the girl who wants to be like Rachel. “It seemed to Flora that the dress was meant for her, not Rachel. It made her feel taller, braver, cleverer, and Rachel was all those things already.” Because of Rachel already is perfect, is Flora jealous of Rachel and wants to be like her. The reason for their bad relationship is jealousy and diversity. Flora is the naughty girl who has a messy room, talks dirty, is jealous, and even steals her sister's dress. Rachel is the opposite, because she is the nice girl, who knows how to behave, so she did not disappoint her mother “..Rachel knew she would have to be pleasant, to forget about her stolen dress, wear something else and smile. The thought was unbearable.” Rachel wants to hit Flora, she hate her, but she don’t do it, because she knows that it is stupid to do it. She actually uses her common sense and makes/do what she knows is right. Flora wants to be like Rachel, she needs attention and be perfect like her sister. She take her sisters dress because she love it, and she knows that she hasn’t anything to lose by taking the dress, because she already don’t has a good relationship with her sister, the communication between them is “barbered and dangerous”. The girls have a internal war between them, and the war is that they both needs attention by their mother, and they both have their own ways to try to get attention. In the end Rachel gives up, and wants to live with her dad, so he can give her the attention, the mother doesn’t give.
             The most important symbol in the story “ The dress” is the dress Flora has stolen from Rachel. The dress in the story symbolizes the relationship between the sisters, and also the mother. The dress was the reason, that Rachel leave the home, but it could be every single thing, the dress isn’t so important, but it show us that what actually a little thing can do.
“It Felt delicious, like water. The dress was made of thin silk, weightless and elegant.
It was light green, with golden ribbons around the hem and the neck.” Green color is the color of fertility, life, and self-respect. When Flora wears the dress, she feels like this, and Rachel bought the dress that fits her personality to wear on her mother's birthday. When Flora buried the dress, because of the reed wine on the dress, it’s like she buried her relationship to her sister Rachel. When Flora has taken the dress, Rachel uses another dress. The other dress is also important for the story, the dress is black, and she uses red earrings. Red symbolizes anger, and black symbolize the hate to her sister.
          The moral in the story is to show us how individualism and materialism is, and the consequences. The story tries to show us the modern people, and how much we need attention nowadays. The themes in the story are jealousy, attention, and love. Love is really important, especially family love. Everybody needs to be loved and attention. In this story there is lack of love, the daughters needs love and care from their mother, but actually the mother also need to be loved, so it is hard for her to show her daughters attention, when she self need it.
         I will end the essay by a poem, which show us how important family love is:
”Family is, heaven sent from our father above, bonded by the power of love.
No matter what family has each others back, when push comes to shove. Family is, one in itself, my love is your love, your pain is my pain, my wealth is your wealth,
I promise to never leave you by yourself.  Forever to eternity, we are family, my father, my mother, my sister and I.” ( by Antony-Tyrone Smith)

Har desværre ikke nok tid til at tjekke mere igennem, men ved at kigge på de "fejl", som jeg har lagt mærke til, kan du måske selv finde nogle flere fejl. :)

Stilen er god, men der er nogle steder hvor jeg synes at sætningsopbygningen er lidt mærkelig, men sådan har vi jo alle det. Vi skriver alle på en forskellig måde.
 

Kig godt efter steder hvor du har skrevet "s" bagpå, og husk at en historie begynder og en bil starter. ;)

Hvis du har nogen spørgsmål skal jeg nok prøve at besvare dem.
Det var lige alt jeg kunne komme i tanke om. Held og lykke med stilen. ;)

PS. Jeg er kun niende klasser, så det kan godt være at nogle af mine rettelser ikke er helt rigtige.
 

Tusind tak for hjælpen :) jeg prøver lige selv at læse den godt igennem igen:)