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Nogen der vil være søde at rette? :)

20. januar 2014 af Romansa (Slettet) - Niveau: B-niveau

Nowadays is it usually normal to try transboundary things, because the challenges for young people today are greater than ever before. “Growing up” can be different from person to person, and not all of them are positive, but in this context is growing up when you get drunk, then you shows that you're a “grown up” and when you shows your look, so you can be accepted by others, and so you can look “grown up”. My opinion is that you’re grown up when you can make your own choices and you're fully accountable for your actions, but you've also grown up when you're able to learn from mistakes, so you don't make the same mistakes over and over again, and when you see someone else, you learn from their mistake instead of repeating it, so “growing up” can be different from person to person and everyone thinks differently.

“Champagne Flight” is a great story about a 16- years old girl. In the story we hear about a flight, but not a normal flight. The girl in the flight comes through a big development, from being a little girl to being and adult. But is it normal to drink at the age of sixteen year, and date few boys? If you think that this is an interesting story and maybe a topic, which grabs your attention, then I think that you should hear the excellent story about a girl, which comes through a big development in her life. The story takes place in Chicago, and the author is Jill Norris, the story is from 1982. Jill Norris is a published author of children's books and young adult books.

The story is about a 16 - years old girl, but her name isn’t told in the story, but she is the narrator in the story I think so, because the story starts with “I was sixteen, and trying to be older”. The girl wants to be older than she is, and this started when she left over to Mr and Mrs Widness, we can see it in beginning of the text where the girl says. “I was wearing my first real suit - a grey, pleated skirt and a boxy jacket. My hair was brushed back from my face, because a friend had told me it made me look older. Oh yes ... I felt definitely grown-up!” When the girl got on the plane and found her seat a flight stewardess come, and asked her if she would like to eat and drink something, after a little time came a girl who was older, her name is Serena about 40 years old, so she were older than the 16 years old girl. I think that the girl in the story is a little bit nervous and scared, because the older girl talking with her, as they have known each other for a long time, and we can see it in the text where the girl says. “I didn't know what to say”, because of her actions and because Serena talked almost all the time. Nowadays teenager wants to be older, so I think that the girl in the story is a typical normal teenager, but again, some teenagers do many stupid things, but it’s different from teenager to teenager as I know because I’m a teenager, and I know how it is to do many weird and transboundary things. One of the theme in the text could also be the relationship between parents and children. I think that the girl in story and her parents have a normal relationship. But is it normal for parents to give their daughter the freedom to do all these things? For me is the answer no, because I think that the parents might be a bit insecure about how to treat their daughter, but her parents haven’t introduced her to the world of drugs, relationship between friend’s, group pressure and striptease. When you are about sixteen years old, you are neither a child nor an adult.

There is a lot of symbols in the text. The airplane symbolize many things, for the first it symbolize freedom, because we are flying up in the sky, you are weightless and it feels like you are reborn like a bird, but the airplane could also symbolize power and intensity. But alcohol symbolizes also different things fx that you are older and because young people feel more ‘grown up’ and more mature.


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Svar #1
20. januar 2014 af powpow (Slettet)

Nowadays is it usually normal: Nowadays it is usually normal

but in this context is growing up when you get drunk: but in this context growing up is when you get drunk

then you shows that you're a “grown up”: then you show that you're a “grown up”

and when you shows your look: and when you show your look

and when you shows your look, so you can be accepted by others, and so you can look “grown up”.: Denne sætning kunne godt omformuleres bedre. Den er lidt svær at forstå. 

“Champagne Flight” is a great story about a 16- years old girl: “Champagne Flight” is a great story about a 16- year-old girl.

from being a little girl to being and adult: from being a little girl to becoming an adult.

But is it normal to drink at the age of sixteen year, and date few boys?: But is it normal to drink at the age of sixteen, and date a few boys?

which comes through a big development in her life: who comes through a big development in her life.

The story is about a 16 - years old girl : The story is about a 16-year-old girl,

but her name isn’t told in the story, but she is the narrator in the story I think so, because the story starts with “I was sixteen, and trying to be older” : We don't get to know her name in the story, although I believe that she is the first person narrator in the story, since the story starts with "I was sixteen, and trying to be older".

and this started when she left over to Mr and Mrs Widness,: ???? Forstår ikke hvad du mener. Når hun forlod dem eller gik hen til dem??

after a little time came a girl who was older: After a little while a girl who was older came.

about 40 years old : She is about 40 years old

so she were older than the 16 years old girl: so she was older than the 16-year-old girl

because the older girl talking with her: because the older girl was talking with her

as they have known each other for a long time: de har kendt hinanden i langtid?? Som jeg har forstået det havde de lige mødt hinanden så derfor: They got to know eachother pretty well, which we can see in the text when the girl says "I didn't know what to say". That indicates that they've been talking for a while. 

One of the theme: One of the themes - Husk flertals s

for the first it symbolize freedom: First of all it symbolizes freedom.

Ellers en fin stil. Du skal passe på med ikke at have alt for lange sætninger. Sæt nogle flere punktumer.  Så skal du også passe på med ikke at oversætte ord fra dansk direkte til engelsk, fordi det ikke altid er det samme, f. eks det med "for the first". Den kan godt finpuses mere end det jeg har lavet da det bare er basics, men så skulle stilen laves helt om. 


Svar #2
20. januar 2014 af Romansa (Slettet)

Tusind tak søde ;)

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