Engelsk
høj-niveau (100 ord) tekst
16. maj 2007 af
Kamelkalle (Slettet)
Jeg har fået som kommentar til denne lille avisartikel (max. 100 ord) at; Overskriften er meget meget god og at denne er meget flot skrevet, MEN ikke særlig sensationel, som artiklen skulle have været.
Har nogle af jer en god idé til hvordan den eventuelt kan laves bedre – Mere sensationel? Altså jeg Ved, hvilke virkemidler der gør en artikel sensationel, men jeg ved ikke, hvordan jeg kan ændre denne – For at gøre den bedre.
Håber meget på, at en/nogle venlige sjæle vil hjælpe mig her.
P.s. afleverer fredag - På forhånd tak for hjælp !
Killed Daddy !
By: XXXXXXXX
Michael Summer was killed yesterday evening around 8 p.m. by his own daughter, who stabbed him several times with a knife so he bled to death. Michael’s wife Dorathy tried stop their daughter, but ended up being stabbed and badly injured. Some neighbours heard screams and called the police, who unfortunately did not come in time to rescue Gerald. But Mrs. Dorathy Summer’s life is out of danger. The daughter, Angelina Summer, was arrested immediately. The neighbours were not that shocked that the young Angelina was the one freaking out with a knife. She was mentally ill and had some sort of psychotic schizophrenic illness, which made her mind very unstable mind.
Har nogle af jer en god idé til hvordan den eventuelt kan laves bedre – Mere sensationel? Altså jeg Ved, hvilke virkemidler der gør en artikel sensationel, men jeg ved ikke, hvordan jeg kan ændre denne – For at gøre den bedre.
Håber meget på, at en/nogle venlige sjæle vil hjælpe mig her.
P.s. afleverer fredag - På forhånd tak for hjælp !
Killed Daddy !
By: XXXXXXXX
Michael Summer was killed yesterday evening around 8 p.m. by his own daughter, who stabbed him several times with a knife so he bled to death. Michael’s wife Dorathy tried stop their daughter, but ended up being stabbed and badly injured. Some neighbours heard screams and called the police, who unfortunately did not come in time to rescue Gerald. But Mrs. Dorathy Summer’s life is out of danger. The daughter, Angelina Summer, was arrested immediately. The neighbours were not that shocked that the young Angelina was the one freaking out with a knife. She was mentally ill and had some sort of psychotic schizophrenic illness, which made her mind very unstable mind.
Svar #1
16. maj 2007 af Bruger slettet (Slettet)
Jeg ville lave en overskrift i stil med dette:
Datter dræber sin egen far.
med underteksten
Frygtelig tragedie udspillede sig i går aftes (her vil jeg nærmere beskrive tid og sted)
Her begynder så teksten, den må ikke lyde som en reklame for et vaskepulver, den kan sagtens dramatiseres.
V.h.
Erik Morsing
Datter dræber sin egen far.
med underteksten
Frygtelig tragedie udspillede sig i går aftes (her vil jeg nærmere beskrive tid og sted)
Her begynder så teksten, den må ikke lyde som en reklame for et vaskepulver, den kan sagtens dramatiseres.
V.h.
Erik Morsing
Svar #2
16. maj 2007 af Katrine (Slettet)
Hvem er 'Gerald'?
Du skal slette det sidste 'mind' i den sidste sætning.
Derudover.. tjaeh.. prøv at læse nogle artikler på www.thesun.co.uk en engelsk pendant til www.eb.dk
Du skal slette det sidste 'mind' i den sidste sætning.
Derudover.. tjaeh.. prøv at læse nogle artikler på www.thesun.co.uk en engelsk pendant til www.eb.dk
Svar #3
17. maj 2007 af Kamelkalle (Slettet)
Michael Summer was killed yesterday evening around 8 p.m. by his own daughter, who stabbed him several times with a knife so he bled to death. Michael’s wife Dorathy tried stop their daughter, but ended up being stabbed and badly injured. Some neighbours heard screams and called the police, who unfortunately did not come in time to rescue Michael. But Mrs. Dorathy Summer’s life is out of danger. The daughter, Angelina Summer, was arrested immediately. The neighbours were not that shocked that the young Angelina was the one freaking out with a knife. She was mentally ill and had some sort of psychotic schizophrenic illness, which made her mind very unstable.
#1 Jeg vil helst ikke ændre overskriften, da jeg fik meget ros for den.
Du tror ikke, at det bliver en anelse for 'tungt' til en så kort artikel med en undertekst?
#2 Der skulle selvfølgelig stå Michael (; Jeg byttede rundt på navnene i to artikeler hehe.
- 'Det ekstra mind var vidst en smutter (;
#1 Jeg vil helst ikke ændre overskriften, da jeg fik meget ros for den.
Du tror ikke, at det bliver en anelse for 'tungt' til en så kort artikel med en undertekst?
#2 Der skulle selvfølgelig stå Michael (; Jeg byttede rundt på navnene i to artikeler hehe.
- 'Det ekstra mind var vidst en smutter (;
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