Engelsk
ENGELSK STIL RETTELSER TAK
06. december 2004 af
sam18 (Slettet)
ngn der gider og tage et look på stilen og rette den...TAKKKER
Violence among young people are/ can be a problem in the future, and today we have incresing number of it. Every day we hear about some form of it, and realize that there is no turning away from it since it is right outside our doors, sometimes in TV and news-paper. Today some of the most violent crimes we hear about are: car jacking, rape, terrorism, and of course murder. It seems all of these crimes are escalating. Recently we have seen on the news that a massive attack of terrorism has taken affect. Examples include the World Trade Center bombing a few years ago, and the hijacking of a plane in Greece, and a young bot kills some one.
It is becoming obvious that any one can be affected by a crime, and any one can commit one. Of course you never suspect that one of your family members will be affected by a violent crime, but it can happen to any one.
I think people who play computer games, like counter strike, playstations games, and many crime film influence oneself. Some people drinks and takes drugs I think they are also include. Here in Denmark we hear about young boys attack a guard for disco, maybe because they are young, or they annoy the guard. I think some boys who do that, like to be smart and show what they can do. We have to STOP form for all this crime, because one day we have a situation where it will be hard
Violence among young people are/ can be a problem in the future, and today we have incresing number of it. Every day we hear about some form of it, and realize that there is no turning away from it since it is right outside our doors, sometimes in TV and news-paper. Today some of the most violent crimes we hear about are: car jacking, rape, terrorism, and of course murder. It seems all of these crimes are escalating. Recently we have seen on the news that a massive attack of terrorism has taken affect. Examples include the World Trade Center bombing a few years ago, and the hijacking of a plane in Greece, and a young bot kills some one.
It is becoming obvious that any one can be affected by a crime, and any one can commit one. Of course you never suspect that one of your family members will be affected by a violent crime, but it can happen to any one.
I think people who play computer games, like counter strike, playstations games, and many crime film influence oneself. Some people drinks and takes drugs I think they are also include. Here in Denmark we hear about young boys attack a guard for disco, maybe because they are young, or they annoy the guard. I think some boys who do that, like to be smart and show what they can do. We have to STOP form for all this crime, because one day we have a situation where it will be hard
Svar #1
06. december 2004 af sojourn (Slettet)
Tog lige et hurtigt kig over det og rettet lidt hist og pist.
Violence among young people are/ can be a problem in the future and today the number is on the increase. Every day we hear about some form of it and realise that there is no turning away from it since it is right outside our doors, sometimes in the TV and sometimes in the news-paper. Today some of the most violent crimes we hear about are: car jacking, rape, terrorism, and of course murder. It seems all of these crimes are escalating. Recently we have seen on the news that a massive attack of terrorism has taken affect. Examples include the World Trade Center bombing a few years ago, and the hijacking of a plane in Greece, and a young bot(bot?) kills someone.
It is becoming obvious that anyone can be affected by a crime and anyone can commit one. Of course you never suspect that one of your family members will be affected by a violent crime but it can happen to anyone.
I think people who play computer games like counter strike, playstation games, and many crime films influence oneself. Some people drink and take drugs. I think they are also included. Here in Denmark we hear about young boys attacking a guard at the disco. Maybe because they are young or that they annoy the guard. I think some boys who do that like to be smart and show what they can do. We have to STOP form for all this crime(ikke sikker på din sætning her - alternativ kunne være = we have to end all of this crime?), because one day we have a situation where it will be too difficult to stop.
Svar #2
06. december 2004 af macro (Slettet)
Violence among young people might become a problem in the future,and we most try to increase
the number of violent teenagers. Every day we hear about violence among teenager, and we have to realize
that there is an issue, since it is right outside our door,and we also here a lot about it in newspapers and in tv.
Some of the most violent crimes we hear about is: carjacking, rape, terrorism, and of course murder. i
it seems all of these crimes are escalating.
Recently have we seen in the news the massive attacks from terrorist.
The Examples are many, which include 11/9, which i think nobody will ever forget,
and the bombing af trains in Spain, which also had many casulties.
It is becoming obvious that anyone can be affected by a crime, and anyone can commit one.
Of course you never suspect that one of your family members will be affected by a violent crime, but it happens to everyone, not just your nabour.
I think people who play violent computer games, like counter strike, and see many crime film makes an influence on them.
Some people drink and takes drugs, I think they are also included.
Here in Denmark, we hear about young boys attacking security guards to get into clubs, just for not allowing them to go in.
I think that the boys doing it, does it because the want to be heard.
I think we should deal vith the problem at hand, before it gets any worse.
Her er mine forandringer.. take it or leave it..
jeg har lavet nogle af sætningerne helt om, men har beholdt betydningen.
Se hvad du synes
Venlig hilsen
Thomas larsen
the number of violent teenagers. Every day we hear about violence among teenager, and we have to realize
that there is an issue, since it is right outside our door,and we also here a lot about it in newspapers and in tv.
Some of the most violent crimes we hear about is: carjacking, rape, terrorism, and of course murder. i
it seems all of these crimes are escalating.
Recently have we seen in the news the massive attacks from terrorist.
The Examples are many, which include 11/9, which i think nobody will ever forget,
and the bombing af trains in Spain, which also had many casulties.
It is becoming obvious that anyone can be affected by a crime, and anyone can commit one.
Of course you never suspect that one of your family members will be affected by a violent crime, but it happens to everyone, not just your nabour.
I think people who play violent computer games, like counter strike, and see many crime film makes an influence on them.
Some people drink and takes drugs, I think they are also included.
Here in Denmark, we hear about young boys attacking security guards to get into clubs, just for not allowing them to go in.
I think that the boys doing it, does it because the want to be heard.
I think we should deal vith the problem at hand, before it gets any worse.
Her er mine forandringer.. take it or leave it..
jeg har lavet nogle af sætningerne helt om, men har beholdt betydningen.
Se hvad du synes
Venlig hilsen
Thomas larsen
Svar #3
06. december 2004 af macro (Slettet)
ps. der kan stadig være nogle småfejl og grammatiske fejl.. men har ikke tid til at gå i dybden
Svar #5
06. december 2004 af sojourn (Slettet)
#3 nogle af dine sætninger lyder bedre synes jeg .. men der er nogle kommaere der skal fjenes og steder der skal rettes gramatisk.
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