Engelsk
hej..søger rettelse til engelsk stil..haster
16. december 2004 af
suzie (Slettet)
jeg håber der er nogen der lige har tid til at rette det til imorn..vil være meget taknemmelig..(skal rettes i nutid, TAK)..
Is it not difficult to a young girl to understand an abusive father who always thrashes them and a mother who always choose to go back to him despite the pain he causes them, especially if the girl is under developing? In most cases, yes and this is exactly what happens to the girl in the story ”The Bats”. She never really experiences her childhood like everyone does because she often has to “help” her mother who always chooses to go back to her husband.
The story begins with that the mother, who is one of the main characters in the story, cries like she often does. “That Year Mother Cried A Lot, Nights” (page 1, line 1). She is Indian, married to a man who also is Indian and has a younger daughter who seems to help her. The girl, on the other hand is-in the beginning- very childish. She cannot understand the blotches in her mothers face “I noticed something funny about her face…What’s that, Ma? Does it hurt? I reached up, wanting to touch it, but she jerked away” (page 2, line 5). She cannot either understand why things are falling when the father comes home “Things fell a lot when Father was around, maybe because he was so large” (page 2, line 22). The mother and the girl almost have a normal relationship like other mother-daughter relationships. But in this relationship it is the girl who worries when her mother cries and tries to help her and not the opposite. The girl hate when her mother cries, maybe because she will be the one who is taking care on and not the one who takes care or help somebody else.
Later in the story when they travel to her grandpa with the mother, without her father knowing something about it she gets her wish to come true. When she is with her grandpa she lives her childhood. It is there where she feels herself like a child and has a funny time, because there is someone to take care of her. “Grandpa-uncle soon became my best friend” (page 7, line 1)...”All of this was so exciting that I didn’t spend much time with mother” (page 7, line 17). Else where we can see that the girl is childish is when she helps her grandpa with the bats. She cannot really understand why the bats are coming back and why they did not find another place to live though they die. “You would have though that after the first week the bats would have figured it out and found another place to live. But no. Every morning there were just as many dead bodies” (page 8, line 14). The bats here significance her mother. She always decides to return back to his husband though she gets thrash and the girl does not understand why she does that, like she does not understand why the bats are coming though they new they will die. “I guess they just don’t realize that by flying somewhere else they’ll be safe. Or maybe they do, but there’s something that keeps pulling them back here” (page 8, line 19). The thing that keeps her mother back to the husband is love. Maybe she loves her husband and will not go away from him though he thrashes both her and her daughter.
When the girl and her mother return home to her father again and when the girls parents have a quarrel she always takes the ring her grandpa gave her and wishes that she could go back to him “From time to time, when things got bad, I would shut myself in my room, take out the ring, and hold it in my hand until the cool metal grew blood-warm” (page 15, line 9). The ring symbolizes her childhood, where she is together with her grandpa. At the end of the story she cannot find her ring again. That means that she becomes an adult because she can realize that her father thrashes her mother and now she does not need the ring any longer. “My own shoulder still throbbing from when father had flung me against the wall as I tried to stop him. When we came back a few weeks later, I looked for my ring everywhere. But it was gone” (page 16, line 2).
Is it not difficult to a young girl to understand an abusive father who always thrashes them and a mother who always choose to go back to him despite the pain he causes them, especially if the girl is under developing? In most cases, yes and this is exactly what happens to the girl in the story ”The Bats”. She never really experiences her childhood like everyone does because she often has to “help” her mother who always chooses to go back to her husband.
The story begins with that the mother, who is one of the main characters in the story, cries like she often does. “That Year Mother Cried A Lot, Nights” (page 1, line 1). She is Indian, married to a man who also is Indian and has a younger daughter who seems to help her. The girl, on the other hand is-in the beginning- very childish. She cannot understand the blotches in her mothers face “I noticed something funny about her face…What’s that, Ma? Does it hurt? I reached up, wanting to touch it, but she jerked away” (page 2, line 5). She cannot either understand why things are falling when the father comes home “Things fell a lot when Father was around, maybe because he was so large” (page 2, line 22). The mother and the girl almost have a normal relationship like other mother-daughter relationships. But in this relationship it is the girl who worries when her mother cries and tries to help her and not the opposite. The girl hate when her mother cries, maybe because she will be the one who is taking care on and not the one who takes care or help somebody else.
Later in the story when they travel to her grandpa with the mother, without her father knowing something about it she gets her wish to come true. When she is with her grandpa she lives her childhood. It is there where she feels herself like a child and has a funny time, because there is someone to take care of her. “Grandpa-uncle soon became my best friend” (page 7, line 1)...”All of this was so exciting that I didn’t spend much time with mother” (page 7, line 17). Else where we can see that the girl is childish is when she helps her grandpa with the bats. She cannot really understand why the bats are coming back and why they did not find another place to live though they die. “You would have though that after the first week the bats would have figured it out and found another place to live. But no. Every morning there were just as many dead bodies” (page 8, line 14). The bats here significance her mother. She always decides to return back to his husband though she gets thrash and the girl does not understand why she does that, like she does not understand why the bats are coming though they new they will die. “I guess they just don’t realize that by flying somewhere else they’ll be safe. Or maybe they do, but there’s something that keeps pulling them back here” (page 8, line 19). The thing that keeps her mother back to the husband is love. Maybe she loves her husband and will not go away from him though he thrashes both her and her daughter.
When the girl and her mother return home to her father again and when the girls parents have a quarrel she always takes the ring her grandpa gave her and wishes that she could go back to him “From time to time, when things got bad, I would shut myself in my room, take out the ring, and hold it in my hand until the cool metal grew blood-warm” (page 15, line 9). The ring symbolizes her childhood, where she is together with her grandpa. At the end of the story she cannot find her ring again. That means that she becomes an adult because she can realize that her father thrashes her mother and now she does not need the ring any longer. “My own shoulder still throbbing from when father had flung me against the wall as I tried to stop him. When we came back a few weeks later, I looked for my ring everywhere. But it was gone” (page 16, line 2).
Svar #1
16. december 2004 af Alicante (Slettet)
jeg har lavet nogle rettelser, vil anbefale at du prøve at bruge due to og the fact istedet for because. Hvis du ønsker dynamik, så brug din fantasi, vær fræk, det gør ofte sproget spændende og varieret. Det er sjovt at forfører læseren. Håber du kan bruge mine råd.
med venlig hilsen alicante
ps. du staver fremragende
Is it not difficult to a young girl to understand an abusive father who always thrashes them and a mother who always choose to go back to him despite the pain he causes them, especially if the girl is under developing? In most cases, yes and this is exactly what happens to the girl in the story ”The Bats”. She never really experiences her childhood like everyone does because she often has to “help” her mother who always chooses to go back to her husband.
The story begins with the mother, who is one of the main characters in the story, cries like she often does. “That Year Mother Cried A Lot, Nights” (page 1, line 1). She is Indian, married to a man who also is Indian and has a younger daughter who seems to help her.
er det deres fælles datter? hvis ja, så skriv and they have a young daughter who seems to help the woman.
The girl, on the other hand is-in the beginning- very childish. She cannot understand the blotches in her mothers face “I noticed something funny about her face…What’s that, Ma? Does it hurt? I reached up, wanting to touch it, but she jerked away” (page 2, line 5). She cannot understand why things are falling when the father comes home “Things fell a lot when Father was around, maybe because he was so large” (page 2, line 22). The mother and the girl almost have a normal relationship like other mother(s) and daughter(s) relationships. But in this relationship it is the girl who worries when her mother cries and tries to help her and not the opposite. The girl hates when her mother cries, maybe because she wishes to be taking care of and not be the one who takes care or help her mother, she does not like the mother role, which is naturally the fact is, she is the daughter .
Later in the story when they travel to her grandpa with the mother, without her father knowing something about it she gets her wish to come true. When she is with her grandpa she can live out her childhood. It is there where she feels herself like a child and has a funny time, because there is someone to take care of her. “Grandpa-uncle soon became my best friend” (page 7, line 1)...”All of this was so exciting that I didn’t spend much time with mother” (page 7, line 17). Else where we can see that the girl is childish when she helps her grandpa with the bats. She cannot really understand why the bats are coming back and why they did not find another place to live though they die. “You would have though that after the first week the bats would have figured it out and found another place to live. But no. Every morning there were just as many dead bodies” (page 8, line 14). The bats here significance her mother. She always decides to return back to her husband though she gets thrash and the girl does not understand why she does that, like she does not understand why the bats are coming though they new they will die. “I guess they just don’t realize that by flying somewhere else they’ll be safe. Or maybe they do, but there’s something that keeps pulling them back here” (page 8, line 19). The thing that keeps her mother back to the husband is love. Maybe she loves her husband and will not go away from him though he thrashes them both.
When the girl and her mother return home to her father again and when the girls parents have a quarrel she always takes the ring her grandpa gave her and wishes that she could go back to him “From time to time, when things got bad, I would shut myself in my room, take out the ring, and hold it in my hand until the cool metal grew blood-warm” (page 15, line 9). The ring symbolizes her childhood, where she is together with her grandpa. At the end of the story she cannot find her ring again. That means that she becomes an adult because she can realize that her father thrashes her mother and now she does not need the ring any longer. “My own shoulder still throbbing from when father had flung me against the wall as I tried to stop him. When we came back a few weeks later, I looked for my ring everywhere. But it was gone” (page 16, line 2).
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
med venlig hilsen alicante
ps. du staver fremragende
Is it not difficult to a young girl to understand an abusive father who always thrashes them and a mother who always choose to go back to him despite the pain he causes them, especially if the girl is under developing? In most cases, yes and this is exactly what happens to the girl in the story ”The Bats”. She never really experiences her childhood like everyone does because she often has to “help” her mother who always chooses to go back to her husband.
The story begins with the mother, who is one of the main characters in the story, cries like she often does. “That Year Mother Cried A Lot, Nights” (page 1, line 1). She is Indian, married to a man who also is Indian and has a younger daughter who seems to help her.
er det deres fælles datter? hvis ja, så skriv and they have a young daughter who seems to help the woman.
The girl, on the other hand is-in the beginning- very childish. She cannot understand the blotches in her mothers face “I noticed something funny about her face…What’s that, Ma? Does it hurt? I reached up, wanting to touch it, but she jerked away” (page 2, line 5). She cannot understand why things are falling when the father comes home “Things fell a lot when Father was around, maybe because he was so large” (page 2, line 22). The mother and the girl almost have a normal relationship like other mother(s) and daughter(s) relationships. But in this relationship it is the girl who worries when her mother cries and tries to help her and not the opposite. The girl hates when her mother cries, maybe because she wishes to be taking care of and not be the one who takes care or help her mother, she does not like the mother role, which is naturally the fact is, she is the daughter .
Later in the story when they travel to her grandpa with the mother, without her father knowing something about it she gets her wish to come true. When she is with her grandpa she can live out her childhood. It is there where she feels herself like a child and has a funny time, because there is someone to take care of her. “Grandpa-uncle soon became my best friend” (page 7, line 1)...”All of this was so exciting that I didn’t spend much time with mother” (page 7, line 17). Else where we can see that the girl is childish when she helps her grandpa with the bats. She cannot really understand why the bats are coming back and why they did not find another place to live though they die. “You would have though that after the first week the bats would have figured it out and found another place to live. But no. Every morning there were just as many dead bodies” (page 8, line 14). The bats here significance her mother. She always decides to return back to her husband though she gets thrash and the girl does not understand why she does that, like she does not understand why the bats are coming though they new they will die. “I guess they just don’t realize that by flying somewhere else they’ll be safe. Or maybe they do, but there’s something that keeps pulling them back here” (page 8, line 19). The thing that keeps her mother back to the husband is love. Maybe she loves her husband and will not go away from him though he thrashes them both.
When the girl and her mother return home to her father again and when the girls parents have a quarrel she always takes the ring her grandpa gave her and wishes that she could go back to him “From time to time, when things got bad, I would shut myself in my room, take out the ring, and hold it in my hand until the cool metal grew blood-warm” (page 15, line 9). The ring symbolizes her childhood, where she is together with her grandpa. At the end of the story she cannot find her ring again. That means that she becomes an adult because she can realize that her father thrashes her mother and now she does not need the ring any longer. “My own shoulder still throbbing from when father had flung me against the wall as I tried to stop him. When we came back a few weeks later, I looked for my ring everywhere. But it was gone” (page 16, line 2).
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Svar #2
16. december 2004 af Dana (Slettet)
Is it (not)(skal NOT overhovedet være der? det giver ingen mening hvis NOT er med) difficult FOR a young girl to understand an abusive father who always thrashes them and a mother who always CHOOSES(det skal være 3.person ental) to go back to him despite the pain he causes them, especially if the girl is under developing?(hvad mener du med UNDER DEVELOPING? at hun er ved at blive voksen?) In most cases, yes(jeg kan ikke forstå, hvad det er du mener her) and this is exactly what happens to the girl in the story ”The Bats”. She never really experiences her childhood like everyone does because she often has to “help” her mother who always chooses to go back to her husband.
The story begins with (udelad THAT) the mother, who is one of the main characters in the story, CRYING like she often does. “That Year Mother Cried A Lot, Nights” (page 1, line 1). She is Indian, married to a man who IS ALSO(ordene byttes rundt) Indian and has a YOUNG( falsk komparativ) daughter who seems to help her. The girl, on the other hand is-in the beginning- very childish. She cannot understand the blotches ON her mothers face “I noticed something funny about her face…What’s that, Ma? Does it hurt? I reached up, wanting to touch it, but she jerked away” (page 2, line 5). NOR CAN She understand why things are falling when the father comes home “Things fell a lot when Father was around, maybe because he was so large” (page 2, line 22). The mother and the girl almost have a normal relationship like other mother-daughter relationships. But in this relationship it is the girl who worries when her mother cries and tries to help her and not the opposite. The girl HATES(3.person ental) when her mother cries, maybe because she will be the one who is taking care OF HER MOTHER and not the one who WILL BE TAKEN care OF. (jeg tror, du mener at pigen hader når moren græder, fordi så er det hende(pigen,) der skal tage sig af moren i stedet for at moren drager omsorg for pigen? ellers kan jeg ikke finde hoved og hale i den sætning. derfor har jeg rykket lidt rundt på sætningen)
Later in the story when they travel to her grandpa (with the mother)(når du siger THEY til at starte med, behøver du ikke at skrive WITH THE MOTHER), without her father knowing something about it, her wish COMES true. When she is with her grandpa she lives her childhood. It is(udelad THERE) where she feels herself, FEELS like a child and has a FUN time, because there is someone to take care of her. “Grandpa-uncle soon became my best friend” (page 7, line 1)...”All of this was so exciting that I didn’t spend much time with mother” (page 7, line 17). Else where we can see that the girl is childish is when she helps her grandpa with the bats. She cannot really understand why the bats are coming back and why they did not find another place to live EVEN though they die IF THEY STAY. “You would have thoughT that after the first week the bats would have figured it out and found another place to live. But no. Every morning there were just as many dead bodies” (page 8, line 14). The bats here SIGNIFY/SYMBOLIZE her mother. She always decides to return (udelad BACK) to HER husband EVEN though she gets thrashED and the girl does not understand why she does that, like she does not understand why the bats are coming EVEN though they KNOW they will die. “I guess they just don’t realize that by flying somewhere else they’ll be safe. Or maybe they do, but there’s something that keeps pulling them back here” (page 8, line 19). The thing that MAKES her mother GO back to the husband is love. Maybe she loves her husband and will not LEAVE him EVEN though he thrashes both her and her daughter.
When the girl and her mother return home to her father again and when the girl's (husk ejefalds apostrof) parents have a quarrel she always takes the ring her grandpa gave her and wishes that she could go back to him “From time to time, when things got bad, I would shut myself in my room, take out the ring, and hold it in my hand until the cool metal grew blood-warm” (page 15, line 9). The ring symbolizes her childhood, where she is together with her grandpa. At the end of the story she cannot find her ring again. That means that she becomes an adult because she can realize that her father thrashes her mother and now she does not need the ring any longer. “My own shoulder still throbbing from when father had flung me against the wall as I tried to stop him. When we came back a few weeks later, I looked for my ring everywhere. But it was gone” (page 16, line 2).
Nogen steder har jeg svært ved at forstå, hvad det er du mener, så det er ikke sikkert at jeg har rettet det korrekt. Der er nogle enkelte kongruensfejl, og præpositionsfejl, men ellers ser det ikke så slemt ud. Du skal nok være lidt mere omhyggelig med at udtrykke dig klart, da det nogle gange var svært at tyde, hvad det var du gerne ville sige.
Jeg håber du kan bruge rettelserne;O)
The story begins with (udelad THAT) the mother, who is one of the main characters in the story, CRYING like she often does. “That Year Mother Cried A Lot, Nights” (page 1, line 1). She is Indian, married to a man who IS ALSO(ordene byttes rundt) Indian and has a YOUNG( falsk komparativ) daughter who seems to help her. The girl, on the other hand is-in the beginning- very childish. She cannot understand the blotches ON her mothers face “I noticed something funny about her face…What’s that, Ma? Does it hurt? I reached up, wanting to touch it, but she jerked away” (page 2, line 5). NOR CAN She understand why things are falling when the father comes home “Things fell a lot when Father was around, maybe because he was so large” (page 2, line 22). The mother and the girl almost have a normal relationship like other mother-daughter relationships. But in this relationship it is the girl who worries when her mother cries and tries to help her and not the opposite. The girl HATES(3.person ental) when her mother cries, maybe because she will be the one who is taking care OF HER MOTHER and not the one who WILL BE TAKEN care OF. (jeg tror, du mener at pigen hader når moren græder, fordi så er det hende(pigen,) der skal tage sig af moren i stedet for at moren drager omsorg for pigen? ellers kan jeg ikke finde hoved og hale i den sætning. derfor har jeg rykket lidt rundt på sætningen)
Later in the story when they travel to her grandpa (with the mother)(når du siger THEY til at starte med, behøver du ikke at skrive WITH THE MOTHER), without her father knowing something about it, her wish COMES true. When she is with her grandpa she lives her childhood. It is(udelad THERE) where she feels herself, FEELS like a child and has a FUN time, because there is someone to take care of her. “Grandpa-uncle soon became my best friend” (page 7, line 1)...”All of this was so exciting that I didn’t spend much time with mother” (page 7, line 17). Else where we can see that the girl is childish is when she helps her grandpa with the bats. She cannot really understand why the bats are coming back and why they did not find another place to live EVEN though they die IF THEY STAY. “You would have thoughT that after the first week the bats would have figured it out and found another place to live. But no. Every morning there were just as many dead bodies” (page 8, line 14). The bats here SIGNIFY/SYMBOLIZE her mother. She always decides to return (udelad BACK) to HER husband EVEN though she gets thrashED and the girl does not understand why she does that, like she does not understand why the bats are coming EVEN though they KNOW they will die. “I guess they just don’t realize that by flying somewhere else they’ll be safe. Or maybe they do, but there’s something that keeps pulling them back here” (page 8, line 19). The thing that MAKES her mother GO back to the husband is love. Maybe she loves her husband and will not LEAVE him EVEN though he thrashes both her and her daughter.
When the girl and her mother return home to her father again and when the girl's (husk ejefalds apostrof) parents have a quarrel she always takes the ring her grandpa gave her and wishes that she could go back to him “From time to time, when things got bad, I would shut myself in my room, take out the ring, and hold it in my hand until the cool metal grew blood-warm” (page 15, line 9). The ring symbolizes her childhood, where she is together with her grandpa. At the end of the story she cannot find her ring again. That means that she becomes an adult because she can realize that her father thrashes her mother and now she does not need the ring any longer. “My own shoulder still throbbing from when father had flung me against the wall as I tried to stop him. When we came back a few weeks later, I looked for my ring everywhere. But it was gone” (page 16, line 2).
Nogen steder har jeg svært ved at forstå, hvad det er du mener, så det er ikke sikkert at jeg har rettet det korrekt. Der er nogle enkelte kongruensfejl, og præpositionsfejl, men ellers ser det ikke så slemt ud. Du skal nok være lidt mere omhyggelig med at udtrykke dig klart, da det nogle gange var svært at tyde, hvad det var du gerne ville sige.
Jeg håber du kan bruge rettelserne;O)
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