Engelskstil rettelse

Hej jeg har lige skrevet min engelskstil færdig, men jeg har ikke rettet så meget i den. Jeg håbede der var nogle herinde fra , som ville læse den igennem og komme med nogle kommentarer og rettelser. Tak :)

3 The road ahead

Jude sat on his bed. He glanced at the picture of his mother on the bedside table. He thought about that day when everything fell apart. She disappeared from the world like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of his eyes. His faith died out like a luminous comet  blazing across the evening sky.  How can the world be so unfair? The car crash should have never happened. She always used to say that nothing is so bad, that it isn’t good for nothing. He had now learned, that his mother was wrong. She was wrong about god, too. If god really loves people, then why would he let his beloved children suffer this much? Jude hated god. God is a narcissist, he thought. He has to be worshipped all the time otherwise we get punished.

A huge bang from the kitchen took him away from his thoughts. Jude ran down the stairs, and opened the kitchen door. Dad had gone out. The stench of liquor and the thick shrouds of smoke were filling his lunges when he breathed it in. Jude was sick of seeing dad laying there completely lifeless with small beads of sweat trickling down his temples.

He had had enough. He took the bag with the car keys. Without a single thought he got in the car and started it. Jude’s heart started to beat really fast and soon he was out of the city. The distance between the houses became bigger and bigger. Now there was only some bushes and trees. The barren landscape that stared back at him.

He looked up in the dark cloudy sky. It was in eternal movement. Suddenly the sky divided into two. The sun grew and exploded into a huge light. The sky was now a luminous center of all energy in the universe. The sun glared in his eyes. He lifted his hand and the bright light formed a shadow on his eyes. A figure came out of the light towards him. Jude panicked. What is that thing?! He couldn’t focus on the driving. The indefinite creature flew closer. Jude felt it’s warmth. Dad had a fast car. Now it sped by at an alarming rate on its own. Jude was seized by a strong feeling of fear and the world around him blurred. Something silky touched his cheek. He opened his eyes and the only thing he saw was a orgy of flapping white feathers. The car swerved to one side. It’s now, Jude thought. When the blood dries in my veins and my mind stops thinking my heart will feel no more pain. Suddenly he saw two hands at the steering wheel and the car stopped. It was not his turn today.

After several attempts to start the car the trembling young man gave up and got out. Jude began to run. The sense of being alive was amazing. He had almost forget how it felt. Jude could not stop thinking about what had happened. It was hard to say how long he had been going. At the end of the road he saw the light again. His heart opened and something dragged him to the creature. When he came close enough the light fainted a bit. Two bright eyes glowed of love. The voluminous silky wings fluttered peacefully. It spoke with its heart. Jude bent down, the angel softly kissed him and his heart fused together inside.. Jude had found peace in his mind and heart. He was now a consummate man. The angel flapped its wings slightly, hovered towards the horizon and disappeared.