Engelsk
Rette
03. november 2006 af
MgStudiePige (Slettet)
A character of Berto in ”The red line”
I those to write about Berto, he is the main author in the story “The red line”. Berto met a girl named Cathy in Venice where Berto come from, he just visiting Cathy in London. Berto was in love with Cathy. I think Berto expect to have fun with Cathy, but somehow the expectation fading away, when Cathy told him, she had a boyfriend. He tries very hard to understand what an “open relationship” was. However, for him it sounds crazy. They make love, but he stopped when he could sense that Cathy was not in the mood.
Berto come from Venice. He was not used to all this confusing that London gave him. He saw the city first time, when Cathy’s boyfriend played tourist guide. Berto could sense that the boyfriend wants to end this tour soon. In the text, it says that he “try very hard to be friendly” (page 64) I think that the boyfriend is Jealous about their relationship Cathy and Berto have together. Otherwise, he should not treat Berto like shit.
At the evening Berto was in the middle of a party, the people around him did not notice him, not even Cathy. Berto was a lonely man in a big city, with no friends and family. He asks himself what he was doing her, but a young man as Berto was madly in love and naive. I think Berto known it was a mistake to visit Cathy. Cause Cathy did not have time to Berto.
Cathy and Bertos relationship is hard to describe. They cannot speak regular to each other, because Berto have a problem with the language. Cathy seems to take a distance to Berto for example she ignored him at the party, rejected him sex and leave him alone in the tube. Berto was not good to speak English, so it was very hard to communicate with English people. He have problem with finding the way home to Hackney where Cathy lives. He was screed to ask people for help, maybe they will laugh at him again, as the boyfriend did.
Bertos life ended a terrible way. He was killed. Nobody notice that he was in trouble, not even notice he was covered in blood. He ends in a station called “The red line”
I those to write about Berto, he is the main author in the story “The red line”. Berto met a girl named Cathy in Venice where Berto come from, he just visiting Cathy in London. Berto was in love with Cathy. I think Berto expect to have fun with Cathy, but somehow the expectation fading away, when Cathy told him, she had a boyfriend. He tries very hard to understand what an “open relationship” was. However, for him it sounds crazy. They make love, but he stopped when he could sense that Cathy was not in the mood.
Berto come from Venice. He was not used to all this confusing that London gave him. He saw the city first time, when Cathy’s boyfriend played tourist guide. Berto could sense that the boyfriend wants to end this tour soon. In the text, it says that he “try very hard to be friendly” (page 64) I think that the boyfriend is Jealous about their relationship Cathy and Berto have together. Otherwise, he should not treat Berto like shit.
At the evening Berto was in the middle of a party, the people around him did not notice him, not even Cathy. Berto was a lonely man in a big city, with no friends and family. He asks himself what he was doing her, but a young man as Berto was madly in love and naive. I think Berto known it was a mistake to visit Cathy. Cause Cathy did not have time to Berto.
Cathy and Bertos relationship is hard to describe. They cannot speak regular to each other, because Berto have a problem with the language. Cathy seems to take a distance to Berto for example she ignored him at the party, rejected him sex and leave him alone in the tube. Berto was not good to speak English, so it was very hard to communicate with English people. He have problem with finding the way home to Hackney where Cathy lives. He was screed to ask people for help, maybe they will laugh at him again, as the boyfriend did.
Bertos life ended a terrible way. He was killed. Nobody notice that he was in trouble, not even notice he was covered in blood. He ends in a station called “The red line”
Svar #1
04. november 2006 af -Zeta- (Slettet)
Jeg har lige hurtigt kigget den igennem og rettet nogle fejl. Jeg lover ikke, at jeg har rettet alle fejlene, da jeg er rimelig træt.>>
A /character/ (characterization) of Berto in ”The red line”
I /those to/(have chosen to) write about Berto, (who) /he/ is the /main author/ (main character) in the story (called) “The red line”. Berto met a girl named Cathy in Venice where Berto /come/(came) from, he just visiting Cathy in London(???). Berto was in love with Cathy. I think Berto expect(s) to have fun with Cathy, but somehow the expectation /fading/(faded) away/,/ when Cathy told him/,/(that) she had a boyfriend. He tries very hard to understand what an “open relationship” was. However, /for him it sounds crazy/ (he thinks it sounds crazy). They make love, but he stopped when he could sense that Cathy was not in the mood.
Berto /come/(came) from Venice. He was not used to all this /confusing/(confusions) that London gave him. He saw the city (for the) first time, when Cathy’s boyfriend played (a) tourist guide. Berto could sense that the boyfriend /wants/(wanted) to end /this tour soon/ (the guided tour as soon as possible). In the text, it says that he “try very hard to be friendly” (page 64)(.) I think that the boyfriend /is/(was) /J/(j)ealous /about/(of) their relationship (that) Cathy and Berto /have/(had) together. Otherwise, he should not (have treated) /treat/ Berto like shit. [voldsomt ord]
/At/ (In) the evening(,) Berto was in the middle of a party/,/ (where) the people around him /did/(had) not notice(d) him, not even Cathy. Berto was a lonely man in a big city/,/ with no friends /and/(nor a) family. He asks himself what he was doing her(e), but a young man /as/(like) Berto was madly in love and naive. I think (that) Berto /known/(knew) it was a mistake to visit Cathy/./ /C/(bec)ause Cathy /did/(had) not /have/ time /to/(for) Berto.
Cathy and Berto(‘s) relationship is hard to describe. They cannot speak regular to each other, because Berto /have/(has) a problem with /the/(his) language. Cathy seems to take a distance to Berto (-) for example (as) she ignored him at the party, rejected him sex and /leave/(left) him alone in the tube. Berto was not good /to speak/(at) English, so it was very hard (for him) to communicate with (the) English people. He /have/(has a) problem /with/(in) finding the way home to Hackney where Cathy lives. He was screed(*1) to ask people for help, maybe they will (start laughing) /laugh/ at him again, as /the/(his) boyfriend did.
Berto(‘)s life ended a terrible way. He was killed. Nobody notice that he was in trouble, not even notice he was covered in blood. He ends in a station called “The red line”(.)
*1: Hvad betyder 'screed'. Jeg har nemlig ingen ordbog på mig?
//Zeta
A /character/ (characterization) of Berto in ”The red line”
I /those to/(have chosen to) write about Berto, (who) /he/ is the /main author/ (main character) in the story (called) “The red line”. Berto met a girl named Cathy in Venice where Berto /come/(came) from, he just visiting Cathy in London(???). Berto was in love with Cathy. I think Berto expect(s) to have fun with Cathy, but somehow the expectation /fading/(faded) away/,/ when Cathy told him/,/(that) she had a boyfriend. He tries very hard to understand what an “open relationship” was. However, /for him it sounds crazy/ (he thinks it sounds crazy). They make love, but he stopped when he could sense that Cathy was not in the mood.
Berto /come/(came) from Venice. He was not used to all this /confusing/(confusions) that London gave him. He saw the city (for the) first time, when Cathy’s boyfriend played (a) tourist guide. Berto could sense that the boyfriend /wants/(wanted) to end /this tour soon/ (the guided tour as soon as possible). In the text, it says that he “try very hard to be friendly” (page 64)(.) I think that the boyfriend /is/(was) /J/(j)ealous /about/(of) their relationship (that) Cathy and Berto /have/(had) together. Otherwise, he should not (have treated) /treat/ Berto like shit. [voldsomt ord]
/At/ (In) the evening(,) Berto was in the middle of a party/,/ (where) the people around him /did/(had) not notice(d) him, not even Cathy. Berto was a lonely man in a big city/,/ with no friends /and/(nor a) family. He asks himself what he was doing her(e), but a young man /as/(like) Berto was madly in love and naive. I think (that) Berto /known/(knew) it was a mistake to visit Cathy/./ /C/(bec)ause Cathy /did/(had) not /have/ time /to/(for) Berto.
Cathy and Berto(‘s) relationship is hard to describe. They cannot speak regular to each other, because Berto /have/(has) a problem with /the/(his) language. Cathy seems to take a distance to Berto (-) for example (as) she ignored him at the party, rejected him sex and /leave/(left) him alone in the tube. Berto was not good /to speak/(at) English, so it was very hard (for him) to communicate with (the) English people. He /have/(has a) problem /with/(in) finding the way home to Hackney where Cathy lives. He was screed(*1) to ask people for help, maybe they will (start laughing) /laugh/ at him again, as /the/(his) boyfriend did.
Berto(‘)s life ended a terrible way. He was killed. Nobody notice that he was in trouble, not even notice he was covered in blood. He ends in a station called “The red line”(.)
*1: Hvad betyder 'screed'. Jeg har nemlig ingen ordbog på mig?
//Zeta
Svar #2
04. november 2006 af -Zeta- (Slettet)
"Cathy in Venice where Berto /come/(came)" --> "Cathy in Venice (in which) Berto /come/"
"He was not used to all this /confusing/(confusions) that London gave him." --> "He was not used to all /this/(these) /confusing/(confusions) that London gave him."
"He was not used to all this /confusing/(confusions) that London gave him." --> "He was not used to all /this/(these) /confusing/(confusions) that London gave him."
Svar #5
04. november 2006 af Katrine (Slettet)
Jeg tror, at der skal stå scared ved "screed" ;-)
#0 Du bør være konsekvent i stedet for hele tiden at skifte mellem nutid og datid. Og så kan du tage Zeta's rettelser til overvejelse.. når du så kommer med et nyt bud på afleveringen, så skal jeg være behjælpelig med at rette den :)
#0 Du bør være konsekvent i stedet for hele tiden at skifte mellem nutid og datid. Og så kan du tage Zeta's rettelser til overvejelse.. når du så kommer med et nyt bud på afleveringen, så skal jeg være behjælpelig med at rette den :)
Svar #6
04. november 2006 af -Zeta- (Slettet)
Tjah. Der er stadig en del fejl og enkelte steder har jeg endda rettet lidt forkert. Den trænger til en renskriving og derefter at få rettet de yderligere rettelser. :)
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