Engelsk
Rettelser
11. april 2007 af
Nørden12345 (Slettet)
En der kan rette det jeg har skrevet.. ville være dejligt.. Er ikke færdig endnu...
A couple has once made a promise that they will kill each other if one or the other should become unaccepted. The first verse of the poem tells us about the setting, namely a restaurant where the couple is setting and enjoying a drink. One of them is drinking gin whereas the other drinks Fumé.
The narrator is the one who is drinking Fumé alongside his or her partner. The narrator’s ultimate expression is renewal of the promise. The partner has obviously question marked the narrator’s loyalty and ability of keeping the promise, as it is clearly indicated in the poem “ you don’t know me if you think I will not kill you”. The narrator has vivid memories of the life the two of them has spent together. The period as well as their relationship is described unbelievably poetic and full of love. However, one should notice that it is not told as something that is not happening anymore. The partner is afraid that his condition will put a great strain on himself as well as the others, exactly as in the case of his grandmother. However, the narrator insures him that it will never happen.
2)
The poem is very far from becoming a traditional poem. The way this poem is built differs a lot from the traditional way of building a poem up. The verses are not identical, and neither has they got any rhymes. One more thing that is rather identical for the traditional poem is that it is easy to put a melody and make a song out of the poem; a fact which is almost impossible in this poem.
3)
The speaker in this poem is without any doubt female. We get a hint when we are told that the speaker is drinking Fume. Fume is clearly a more feminine drink than the gin which the partner is drinking. The speaker is probably at the same age as her partner. They are obviously not young anymore, perhaps they are old, and as they know that the death is nearer to them than before. They know that they will soon become a burden to the society.
There is no doubt about the fact that the speaker is in a very romantic mood, something that is clearly shown in her very erotic thoughts.
The speaker is
A couple has once made a promise that they will kill each other if one or the other should become unaccepted. The first verse of the poem tells us about the setting, namely a restaurant where the couple is setting and enjoying a drink. One of them is drinking gin whereas the other drinks Fumé.
The narrator is the one who is drinking Fumé alongside his or her partner. The narrator’s ultimate expression is renewal of the promise. The partner has obviously question marked the narrator’s loyalty and ability of keeping the promise, as it is clearly indicated in the poem “ you don’t know me if you think I will not kill you”. The narrator has vivid memories of the life the two of them has spent together. The period as well as their relationship is described unbelievably poetic and full of love. However, one should notice that it is not told as something that is not happening anymore. The partner is afraid that his condition will put a great strain on himself as well as the others, exactly as in the case of his grandmother. However, the narrator insures him that it will never happen.
2)
The poem is very far from becoming a traditional poem. The way this poem is built differs a lot from the traditional way of building a poem up. The verses are not identical, and neither has they got any rhymes. One more thing that is rather identical for the traditional poem is that it is easy to put a melody and make a song out of the poem; a fact which is almost impossible in this poem.
3)
The speaker in this poem is without any doubt female. We get a hint when we are told that the speaker is drinking Fume. Fume is clearly a more feminine drink than the gin which the partner is drinking. The speaker is probably at the same age as her partner. They are obviously not young anymore, perhaps they are old, and as they know that the death is nearer to them than before. They know that they will soon become a burden to the society.
There is no doubt about the fact that the speaker is in a very romantic mood, something that is clearly shown in her very erotic thoughts.
The speaker is
Svar #1
11. april 2007 af Chr26 (Slettet)
Hej,
Eftersom jeg ikke har kendskab til selve baggrundsteksten du anvender, som din stil er baseret på, så kan jeg kun hjælpe dig i begrænset omfang.
DEL 1)
-“A couple has once made a promise”: “has” skal her være datid,
fordi du skriver engang(once)
-Overveje “unaccepted “. Det lyder forkert her.
-setting: Slå “sidde” op i en dansk/eng ordbog.
-sætte spørgsmålstegn ved noget (fig.) call sth in question; question sth
-“of keeping the promise”. Overveje at omformulere.
-“has spent together.” Bøjning af ”has”
-poetic: mangler en endelse.
Eksempel på hvad du gør galt med poetic: He drove bad. Bør være: He drove badly.
DEL 2)
-“becoming a traditional poem.” Overveje et andet ord end becoming, fx being.
-"has they got any rhymes". Forkert bøjning af ”has”, her er det flertal.
DEL 3)
-Du skifter mellem Fumé og Fume. Hold dig så vidt muligt til samme stavning af ordet hele vejen igennem din stil.
-”than the gin which” Hvis du bruger stavekontrol, så ved du, at der mangler tegnsætning her.
-”at the same age.” Fordansket(på den same alder) ”at” er her unødvendigt.
-“and as they know that the death is nearer to them than before.”
-Overveje “and as”
-Overveje “the death“
-Nearer lyder her ikke godt: prøv et synonym.
-Overveje “the society”
-“about the fact” , er det nødvendigt?
Konklusion:
-Du bør arbejde med din ”has” og ”have”.
-Du har en tendens til at skrive nogle overflødige ”the” hist og her. Ligesom du også har andre overflødige ord.
Synes du har et godt ordforråd på engelsk! Pøj pøj med det ( :
Eftersom jeg ikke har kendskab til selve baggrundsteksten du anvender, som din stil er baseret på, så kan jeg kun hjælpe dig i begrænset omfang.
DEL 1)
-“A couple has once made a promise”: “has” skal her være datid,
fordi du skriver engang(once)
-Overveje “unaccepted “. Det lyder forkert her.
-setting: Slå “sidde” op i en dansk/eng ordbog.
-sætte spørgsmålstegn ved noget (fig.) call sth in question; question sth
-“of keeping the promise”. Overveje at omformulere.
-“has spent together.” Bøjning af ”has”
-poetic: mangler en endelse.
Eksempel på hvad du gør galt med poetic: He drove bad. Bør være: He drove badly.
DEL 2)
-“becoming a traditional poem.” Overveje et andet ord end becoming, fx being.
-"has they got any rhymes". Forkert bøjning af ”has”, her er det flertal.
DEL 3)
-Du skifter mellem Fumé og Fume. Hold dig så vidt muligt til samme stavning af ordet hele vejen igennem din stil.
-”than the gin which” Hvis du bruger stavekontrol, så ved du, at der mangler tegnsætning her.
-”at the same age.” Fordansket(på den same alder) ”at” er her unødvendigt.
-“and as they know that the death is nearer to them than before.”
-Overveje “and as”
-Overveje “the death“
-Nearer lyder her ikke godt: prøv et synonym.
-Overveje “the society”
-“about the fact” , er det nødvendigt?
Konklusion:
-Du bør arbejde med din ”has” og ”have”.
-Du har en tendens til at skrive nogle overflødige ”the” hist og her. Ligesom du også har andre overflødige ord.
Synes du har et godt ordforråd på engelsk! Pøj pøj med det ( :
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