Hjælp til rettelse af Engelsk-Aflevering

Hejsa alle sammen.

Jeg søger blot lidt hjælp til retning af min Engelsk-aflevering, som skal afleveres i morgen.

Jeg er modtagelig for alle rettelser, også hvad angår retningen af afleveringen.

(Afleveringen er lavet som en personkarakterstik).

Character Sketch

Serena Sinclair is a woman in her mid age, probably around forty years old - or at least she looks as if she was about forty. - (I can tell from line 21-23, page 15). Serena lives in Chicago, where she just have found a job in the ‘show business’, where she, more precisely, works as a professional stripper. One gets the feeling that Serena is trying to hide the fact that she is a stripper, and when the narrator asks Serena if she is an actress, Serena answers “I’m in show business” (line 12, page 16). Serena also had her name changed, because the old one was not presentable enough to be on stage. Serena also refers to her new job as “real potential”, and being on a little stage where she is the centre and the spotlight is on her (seen on line 36-40, page 16). Furthermore Serena tells the narrator that she could have been a big hollywood star once (line 8-9, page 16). Serena is obviously taking a big interest in her looks and appearance. – This is both seen on page 17, line 2-3 where Serena wishes she was young again, and earlier when the narrator discovers, that Serena’s hair recently had been colored (seen on line 22-23, page 15). It is not mentioned what kind of cloth Serena is wearing, but one could imagine, that a woman around forty, who is trying to be younger, is wearing something more fancy than a regular 40-year-old would normally wear. – Another quote that supports the fact that Serena is taking good care of her looks is when she mentions “Red wine ruins the skin” – (line 27, page 15). One could easily get the impression that Serena might seem a little odd, (as a matter of fact, the narrator gets quite the same impression; line 11-13, page 16) and that might be because of her stunning charisma. Beside Serena’s interesting figure she seems friendly and extremely extrovert (line 18-19, page 15).
Serena says she is not much of a drinker but one gets the impression that she drinks more often than she expresses. – Also especially because she orders 3 bottles of champagne just in order to celebrate on the flight.

Håber nogen af jer mennesker derude vil give mig en hånd, stor- som lille :-)

Mvh. Mogens