Engelsk
hjælp til grammatikken hvis du har tid
Hej.
Hvis der var nogen der absolut ikke havde noget at give sig til i dag, ville jeg da frygtelig gerne have rettet min engelsk aflevering. den er ikke ret lang, men jeg tror der er en del grammatikfejl, og har ikke mulighed for at få nogen andre til at kigge på den inden jeg skal aflevere :(
Så skriv endelig hvis du føler for at rette den !! - den er på 716 ord. :)
Hilsen H89M
Engelsk aflevering:
Irregularities
Courtney Jones, 2003
An irregularity can be difficult to handle for a person. The irregularity can be physical and mental, and everyone has tried to find an irregularity on them self. Some of the irregularities can be easy to remove, while other can be impossible to get rid of. In this story, the irregularity is difficult to remove. It is not always easy to face the realities and the following problems of an affair – especially if the affair ends up in an unwanted pregnancy. The story, Irregularities by Courtney Jones, is about a woman who works as an administrative assistant in a cardiac care unit. After having an affair with her boss, James Soleander – M.D, she becomes pregnant. Her pregnancy comes unexpected, but she doesn’t regret the sudden upheaval in her life. Many mixed feelings shows up, but with her role model – the woman’s magazine, she tries to clean up the mess. But that is easier said than done. Not only is it difficult for her, to tell James about the pregnancy. It is also difficult for her to tell him about her feelings for him. Because James Soleander has already a perfect life, with a perfect job, perfect cloth, perfect furniture and a perfect wife. She will not ruin James’s perfect life, but at the same time she want to get married to James. She stands in a difficult situation, and most of all she wants James to find out about the pregnancy by him self. But her problems get worse when she finds out that she is unable to hold on to the baby. She tells James medially, and the mixed feeling is shown again. Because in one way are she happy for the fact, that James and her not are going to be parents, but at the same time she is sad, because she had began to have maternal feeling for she baby she was carrying.
But James Soleander never got to know, that he had made his assistant pregnant. Excluded because she didn’t have the courage to tell him. In this case, it is a big mistake that she don’t tell James about the pregnancy. James would never think about it, because he is a busy man with a busy job. He has other things to think about than that he perhaps could have made his assistant pregnant.
It can be difficult to clear James’s opinion about the whole situation, and I can not help questioning why he is having an affair with his assistant when the narrator tells us, that he is happy married with a perfect wife. But I think the narrator only sees the outside of James Soleander. He probably act his perfect life in hope of not to reveal the less perfect part of his life. This acting cracked when he had to listen to the narrator’s heartbeat. Her irregular heart fascinated him, and the boss impresses the narrator. The affair continues on a business trip, but after then he pretend that nothing has happened. James is as always happy, while the narrator carries around with important and huge feelings that she cannot tell to James.
If we are looking at the superior theme, you can’t avoid the words: unhappy love. You find the unhappy love throughout the whole story, because the narrator’s problem is, that she cannot tell about her pregnancy for the person she is in love with. Her love for James, do I interpret, to be greater than the love she has for the coming baby. For example, when she finds out that she most likely will lose the baby. Here is her first priority, to tell James, that she probably not can carry a baby, instead of confronting him with the grief she carries for her child.
The story is sad. Not only because of the loss of her child. The idea of all the thoughts and feelings that she keeps confined are also sad. Her feelings for James, her feeling for her unborn child and the following emotions of the consequences. The feelings she keeps inside are feelings that should be shown to the world. If such sentiments not are coming out, will it be difficult to move forward. Feelings are important to show, but equally important to talk about.
Svar #1
05. februar 2009 af Áslak (Slettet)
okay, der er en del mindre grammatiske fejl, men de fleste af dem er ting man egentlig godt kan sige men nok ikke ville. Jeg kan ikke hjælpe dig med tegnsætningen fordi jeg selv er en knold til det, først det gamle, så det nye, så det gamle igen, jeg sætter bare komma hvor jeg har lyst egentlig, håber ikke det gør noget (:
Første linje: "The irregularity can be physical and mental" medmindre du vil have at der skal være ekstremt fokus på at de kan være begge dele på en gang, ville man nok sige physical OR mental, så det er mere 'enten eller'.
anden linje: "find an irregularity on them self" her er der ret mange fejl. Først og fremmest ville man nok sige find irregularities, ellers lyder det som om at man leder efter én specifik fejl. Dernæst ville man ikke sige on, mest fordi du ovenover har skrevet at de jo også kan være mentale. Der ville man nok hellere bruge in. Til sidst, Them self. Det skal være sammensat;Themself.
anden linje igen: "Some of the irregularities" her ville man nok bare sige 'some irregularities' for at vise at man taler generelt.
tredje linje: "get rid of". Of bruger man kun når noget skal forbindes til noget andet. Her der vil man gerne have noget væk, af, langt bort, derfor er det off.
fjerde linje: realities? Medmindre det er en science fiktion så skulle jeg mene at der kun var en eksistens.
9. linje: many problems shows up, det er en kongruensfejl, fordi der er mange problemer. Show up.
12. : perfect cloth. Det betyder at han har perfekt stof. Som i en rulle eller en firkant af det. Hvis du vil sige at han har perfekt tøj er det clothes. Du kan huske det på at det er ligesom bukser, altid i flertal ;)
12 igen: "She will not" Hvis du ønsker at vise at hun ikke har lyst til det er du nødt til at bruge 'does not want to', ellers lyder det som om det er skæbnesbestemt.
13: "at the same time she want" her har du bare glemt et s efter wantS.
13.2: "She stands in" her ville man nok bare sige she IS in, det andet er en fordanskelse.
14: "by him self" I et ord ;) himself
16: "mixed feeling" man kan ikke blande en ting med sig selv, der er nød til at være mere end en. Feelings
16.2: "are she", uff, jeg havde engang en lærerinde der ville tegne dødningehoveder på ens papir hvis man gør det her. Det trækker ens karakter vildt meget ned. He/she/it IS. Du må hellere huske det fordi det er sådan en nedern årsag til at få lavere karakter (:
18: "had began" enten er det began eller had begun. 'Havde hun begyndt' eller 'begyndte hun?'
20: she don’t - she doesn't
22: "think about than that he perhaps could have made" man KAN godt sige 'than that', og jeg føler mig også tvunget til det nogle gange, og could have made får det til at lyde som om at han var tæt på men ikke gjorde det. Så det ville lyde bedre hvis du skrev; "think about than how he perhaps MIGHT have made".
24 (jaah, juleaften): 'clear James’s opinion about'. Det kan man ikke. punktum! Det får de til at lyde som om du vil havde ham hjernevasket eller sådan noget. Man kan heller sige opinion about, man ville sige on. Det er en fejl der er ganske almindelig, og det ER forvirrende at skulle bruge helt anderledes præpositioner. Sidst men ikke mindst så kan du ikke lave det der dobbelt s. Det er lissom at man ikke (burde) sige Jameses et eller andet. Hvis et ord slutter på s, så behøver du ikke det ekstra s. så er det nok med apostroffen. Alt i alt er den her sætning ikke godt, prøv med "tell what James is thinking about"
26: happi married: happiLY, det er et adverbium (eller sådan noget)
27: "he probably act" He acts (:
27.2: "in hope of not to reveal" her blander du lidt to sætninger sammen. Man kan sige det ene og man kan sige det andet, men man kan ikke sige begge dele på een gang. Derfor skal det enten være "hoping not to reveal" eller "in hope of not revealing"
28: "This acting cracked when he had to listen to the narrator’s heartbeat" okay, en narrator kan aldrig være med i en historie. Narrators er rent tekstanalyse. En narrator KAN godt fortælle i første person og derfor lader narratoren som om den er ham/hende, men hvis du skal bruge et ord så brug protagonist. Hovedperson, fordi en narrator deltager ikke i historier, den gentager dem senere.
30: "after then", det kan du desværre kun sige på dansk, på engelsk hedder det afterwards
31: "carries around with" på engelsk behøver man ikke det der with og det er næsten forkert at sige det. She carries around important stuff
33: "the whole story" det lyder mere som om den er hel modsat at man har spist af den eller ødelagt den. Jeg tror at man nok mere ville bruge "entire story".
34: "do I interpret" det gør det til et spørgsmål, bare slet 'do' og så er den okay
38-39: "The idea of all the thoughts and feelings that she keeps confined are also sad" her fører are tilbage til ideÉN, altså skal det være is.
39: "her feeling"-feelings, nok bare en typoe
42: "Feelings are important to show, but equally important to talk about." det er også dansk grammatik på spil her, da man egentlig ikke vil kunne sige are important to show. Istedet ville jeg sige;
"Showing emotions (feelings er indeni, emotions er mere udenpå) is (Det er EN handling) important, but it is equally important to talk about them" - eller sådan noget, ja.
Okay, det var vidst det. Jeg håber virkelig du kan bruge det jeg har skrevet til noget, jeg er bare glad for en undskyldning til ikke at lave tysk... som jeg... nok burde lave... Anyhow! Jeg har kun holdt mig til grammatikken generelt og ikke snakket så meget om det der står, mest fordi det jeg ikke har læst kilden, men her til sidst må jeg lige minde dig om at du skal være objektiv når du analysere. Du må godt skrive hvad du tror, men du må ikke skrive hvad du synes. Altså er historien ikke sad, it contains a lot of sadness, okay? :)
Good luck!
Svar #2
05. februar 2009 af H89M (Slettet)
Aslak!
Du har simpelthen reddet min dag, hvor var det sødt af dig at rette det ! Jeg ville frygtelig gerne hjælpe med det tyske, problemet er bare at jeg er en dør til tysk, så det vil jeg lade dig slippe for.
Endnu engang tusind tusind tak !
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