Engelsk

Skriftlig engelsk eksamen - klage

18. juni 2009 af snotti (Slettet)

Hej :)
Nogen der vil kommentere min opgavebesvarelse på STX Engelsk A skriftlig eksamen?
Ligger normalt på 10, men fik 02 og fatter ikke hvorfor!

”The Journey”
The theory of the cycle of life has always affected the human being, whether it is a question of religion or psychology. At an early age we learn that someday we will pass away and be buried in the ground. This depressing acknowledgment can make a huge impression and can scar a young child for life.

A)
This situation is being presented in “A Journey”, an American short story from 2006 written by Colm Tóibín, where a young boy is being scared for life when asks his mother about death. The mother tells him the fact that everyone will die, and this discouraging reply seems to shock her son so much that he at the age of twenty appears to have a depression. The short story starts off with the dialogue between the mother and the son, which appears to be a flashback from the mother’s view. Therefore the short story seems to be presented in medias res, where the reader is being introduced to a 3rd person narrator. The short story is constructed by the presentation and a one-track story with a large number or flashbacks, which again is told by the mother’s view. The story is build up by the family of the son (David), the mother (Mary) and the father (Seamus), whose relationship can be described as complicated. In the introduction the reader gets the information that David was born after twenty years of marriage and that he is an only child. Mary and Seamus actually gave up the hope of ever having a child but suddenly Mary was pregnant and David was born. Therefore the introduction deals with both birth and death which are the two main elements in the theory of the cycle of life. These elements are also very bonded to religion and Christianity, and “The Journey” also contains a lot of religiously symbols and description of churches. The title “The Journey” might also refer to the idea of the cycle of life, because every human are going on their own journey through life.

The location of the short story appears to be a small American countryside with a little church and a small country national school, where Seamus had been principal. After the introduction the one-track story begins when Mary drives David home from the hospital, apparently he has been hospitalized for depression, but is now discharged. Clearly he is still suffering from the depression and doesn’t want to speak to Mary. Meanwhile the reader gets to know that Seamus is also suffering from a depression-alike syndrome and is lying in bed all time. The reader doesn’t get any information why he is suffering from the syndrome but maybe it is similar to David’s. His mind is maybe also obsessed with the negative aspects of life such as death. In one of the mother’s flashbacks she imagines the portrait of her mother hanging herself so therefore it seems that it is maybe bonded genetically. Even though Mary has a son, a father and a mother whom all have experienced depression, it seems that she has never had it. But how can it be that some human beings like David, Seamus and Mary’s mother experiences depression.

To answer this question you can use the text excerpt “Depression”, from the website of the organization National Institute of Mental Health written in 2008. The text describes how depression occurs on children and adolescents, and from this you can therefore analyze the reason for David’s depression. The excerpt is build up by two sections where the first is a description of depression. According to the text the definition of depression is: “When a person has depressive disorder which interferes with daily life, normal functioning, and causes pain for both the person with the disorder and those who care about him or her” (line 2). This is obviously current in both David’s and Seamus’ instances, because their depression clearly interferes with their lives. The first section also says that depression is a common but serious illness, and most who experience it treatment to get better. In this case Mary tried to hospitalize David, but it doesn’t seem to have any positive effect. The second part of the excerpt deals with how children and adolescents experience depression. According to the text depression apparently comes at a time of great personal change – when boys and girls are forming an identity distinct from their parents. When Mary and David are driving, David is sitting in the back and is constantly smoking cigarettes. Later on the reader gets the information that Seamus hates smoking so therefore this could be the reason for David’s constantly smoking. When David was a child he often got babysat by Mrs. Redmond, a friend of the family. It seems that he made a strong bond to Mrs. Redmond instead of his mother, because Mary remembers that when she had to pick him up, he didn’t want to come. This signifies that his relationship to his mother weren’t very well, which is also portrayed in the car where he won’t answer her questions.

This situation can therefore be related to the one in the oil painting “Interior with Woman and Child”, painted by Paul Mathey in 1890. The painting portrays a young boy standing against a wall with some kind of toy in his hands. The boy is looking straight into the audience with sadly eyes, while a woman probably his mother is in the next room washing clothes. This picture could therefore be an example of how depression occurs because it seems that the boy doesn’t get any attention from the mother.

B)
Colm Tóibín’s short story is constructed by a presentation of David’s childhood and a one-track act, both containing a great amount of flashbacks. A so-called flashback is a scene in a text that shows something that happened earlier in time than the main story. In “The Journey” the reader often gets flashbacks from the mother’s view, which helps the reader to understand the situation portrayed in the short story. Therefore the flashbacks have a huge impact on the short story, while they play a vital role for the reader, which obviously have been in Colm Tóibín’s mind. The presentation is actually built up by an extended flashback representing David’s childhood. Without this description the reader wouldn’t be able to figure out what the reason for David’s mentally illness is. Along this the symbolic meaning of the cycle of life would also disappear. While the first flashback mostly concerns David and his youth, the second one depicts the actual situation of the family. Mary remembers the day she first noticed the symptoms of David’s depression and she starts wondering if she and Seamus are the ones to blame. This leads to a flashback where she illustrates her own mother’s dead. Again the flashbacks provides the reader great information about the family and the situation. The next flashback portrays how the mother looks at David’s illness, when she dreams about an old summer vacation. In this flashback she doubts if David really has a depression and she comes with the conclusion that it might be a special dark gift that David had been offered. Therefore you can say that the flashback sort of portrays the development of David’s depression.
 


Brugbart svar (1)

Svar #1
19. juni 2009 af kito (Slettet)

ALtså nu er jeg ikke engelsk lærer, så tag lige det jeg skriver med et gram salt..

jeg synes dels at din opgave aldrig rigtig kommer rigtig i dybten med novellen, den er meget referende, og det har klart været et minus.

derudover er der sprogligt et par ting: nogle lidt mærkelige formuleringer, og rigtig mange gentagelser (altså du bruger de samme ord igen og igen og igen)! men jeg synes nu stadig den burde være mere værd en et 2 tal! 


Svar #2
19. juni 2009 af snotti (Slettet)

Hej Kito mange tak for din konstruktive kritik. Kan sagtens se at det langtfra har været min mest velskrevne opgave, bl.a. pga. de eksempler du nævner. Jeg ville dog gerne høre  hva du umiddelbart ville mene opgaven skulle ligge til, da jeg er meget i tvivl. Jeg tænker umiddelbart et lille 7-tal, men ved ikke hva du synes?

På forhånd tak...

mvh. Snotti  


Brugbart svar (1)

Svar #3
20. juni 2009 af Libnan (Slettet)

Snotti, det svært at vudere nu, jeg fik også 02 for min, jeg fik 7 i årskarakter, synes generelt teksten var lort også skal du huske at 20% af den første delprøver tæller med, så det kan have trukket ned der tror jeg alt hos mig var forkert. Er glad for jeg bestod den og i de andre skriftlige fik jeg de fine karaktere 7 :)


Brugbart svar (1)

Svar #4
21. juni 2009 af Marie-89 (Slettet)

Som der bliver nævnt, er du muligvis for refererende.

Derudover bed jeg mærke i, at du misforstået et par ting omkring teksten ( i hvert fald som jeg ser det): Mary forestiller sig ikke sin mor hængt, hun mindes blot et portræt/billede, der hang af hende på væggen. Seamus lider ikke af depression, men har lidt af et hjerteanfald, hvorfor han er sengeliggende.

Jeg ved ikke om sådanne ting spiller ind på bedømmelsen. Men jeg vil nu ikke mene, at den ligefrem er til et 2-tal, men det er jo altid svært at bedømme for os.


Svar #5
21. juni 2009 af snotti (Slettet)

Hej Libnan og Marie-89 tak fordi i har taget jer tid til at læse min opgave igennem. Jeg kan også godt se jeres kritik af, at opgaven bliver for referende - skulle have gået mere i dybden med især analysen af David's depression. Med hensyn til grammatiske prøve, føler jeg heller ikke at det gik fantastisk, så ville umiddelbart nok sige et 4-7 tal, men selvom jeg fik 2 der kunne det jo umuligt blive til et 2-tal. Det kan sagtens være jeg har misforstået Mary's flashback og Seamus's sygdom for har desværre ikke teksten mere, men er glad for at høre du ikke mener den ligger på et to-tal. Fortsat held og lykke med resten af eksamerne til jer begge:)

mvh. Snotti 


Brugbart svar (1)

Svar #6
22. juni 2009 af peede (Slettet)

Hejsa, lige et par "bevingede" ord fra min side af.

For det første kan vi jo ikke fuldt ud bedømme, hvad du skulle have haft når vi ikke har set din delprøve 1 (som du selvfølgelig godt ved), og disse 20% kan jo meget vel have været dem der lige havde givet dig det sidste puf i den ene eller anden retning.

Når det så er sagt syntes jeg dog også at 2 er en lige lovlig lav karakter. Dit sprog er på et væsentlig højere end middelt niveau, og du laver ikke mange større grammatiske fejl (af hvad jeg lige har bemærket i min gennemlæsning). Dog er der en ting som for mig at se er et stort minus ved din opgave - din tekstnærhed. Du har ikke ét citat i hele opgaven af hvad jeg kan se? Det eneste sted hvor jeg finder en mindre reference er ved din gennemgang af den der "Depression" artikel. Havde du understøttet nogle af dine analyser omkring personerne med citater, havde din opgave efterladt et meget større indtryk, og virket meget mere dybdegående.

Mit råd til dig er dog at sende din opgave til din egen lærer, og få ham/hende til at vurdere hvorvidt det kan betale sig for dig at få den vurderet om. Dog syntes jeg du skulle gøre dette uanset hvad han/hun siger, da du iflg. reglerne ikke kan få en lavere karakter end 02, og derfor kun kan stige. Desuden vil jeg mene at du har en ok chance for at få et 4-tal, så hvis du har brug for et godt snit til noget videregående uddannelse så gør det.

Som de andre er jeg heller ikke lærer, men håber da at du kan bruge noget af det jeg har skrevet :)


Brugbart svar (1)

Svar #7
25. juni 2009 af Malene Bugge Larsen (Slettet)

Hej Snotti

Ligesom sagt ovenstående er teksten nok lidt for refererende. Derudover laver du en del sprogfejl, især i starten af analysen, såsom "The short story is constructed BY the presentation and a one-track story with a large number or flashbacks, which again is TOLD BY THE MOTHER'S VIEW", (du kunne i stedet have sagt "told from the mother's point of view) som formentlig trækker en del ned. Dog synes jeg, at du har flere gode iagttagelser.

Jeg vil vurdere din opgave til 4/7

Tillykke som student.

Mvh Malene


Brugbart svar (1)

Svar #8
09. marts 2010 af pellepellepelle (Slettet)

Hej Snotti - og jer andre.
Hvornår er dette eksamenssæt fra? 2008 eller 2009? Mvh


Brugbart svar (1)

Svar #9
18. april 2010 af CamillaFoerby (Slettet)

Er der nogen af Jer, der har knækket koden og kan lave en fantastisk analyse af "A journey"?
Vi skal aflevere den på fredag, men der er ingen af os, der fatter, hvad det lige er Colm Tóibín forholder sig til, så man kan tage udgangspunkt i det.. Vi ved faktisk slet ikke rigtigt, hvad vi skal tage udgangspunkt i?.. Familie og depression eller hvad?

`Hvis der er nogen, der har nogle guldkorn, så sig endelig til...

Plejer også at få 10, men regner bestemt ikke med at få det den her gang.

- Camilla.


Brugbart svar (1)

Svar #10
19. april 2010 af kjanne (Slettet)

Hej jeg sidder med den samme tekst, og synes også den er fuldstændig umulig. Til det oprindelige første debar indløg vil jeg dog sige at jeg ikke kan finde noget belæg for, at Davids depression skyldes dødsangst!? Jeg har lagt mere vægt på den måde Mary ofrer sig for sine kære. (læg især mærke til de sidste 5 linjer af teksten)

Hvad har du fået ud af den?

Hilsen Anna


Brugbart svar (1)

Svar #11
19. april 2010 af kjanne (Slettet)

debat indlæg*


Brugbart svar (1)

Svar #12
20. marts 2011 af FætterFup (Slettet)

Hovedtema: Døden

1) David spørger om den i begyndelsen

2) Seamus ligger for døden

3) David har trukket sig ind i en slags mental død, fordi der er noget (der antydes manglende nærhed og opmærksomhed) som mangler/manglede i hans hjem 

Hovedmetafor: The Journey (journey = vehicle, Tenor = Life, Ground: udvikling, ændring)

1) den fysiske: David fra hjem til hospitalet (7 mnd før) Mary + David fra hospitalet til hjemmet (eventyr modellen: hjemme -  ude - hjemme)

2) den mentale: for David sane -- insane - saner (?)

3) den existentielle: Birth (David) (didn't change life for M + S) - life - Old age (Mary's grey hair) - Death (soon Seamus)

4) Age: child - adolescent (David) - young adults (Mary + Seamus in the past) - middle aged / old (Mary + Seamus)

Extended metaphor = headlight: som kun oplyser en del af vejen (the journey - kun muligt at se en lille del af det liv vi har foran.


Brugbart svar (1)

Svar #13
20. marts 2011 af apka (Slettet)

teksten siger at de først fik David da de havde været gift i tyve år, så tror nærmere de er gået fra at være middelaldrende forældre til at være gamle.


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