eng rettelse imorgen

My holiday in Scotland
I am in the capital of Scotland now.It is a beautiful city with lovely buildings. I saw the (Holyrood Palace)(,) and in the Edinburgh (C)astle I saw a fantastic show with military band, bagpipe dances. I was in Scotland’s largest and most exciting animal collection(,) the Edinburgh Zoo, and all my family favorites were there, tigers(,) gorillas and giraffes.()
I saw Lock Ness, (which is one of those lochs that) is twenty-three miles (long, one mile wide and up to 300 meters deep.) It is the ideal hiding place for a prehistoric colony of monsters because it is so deep and dark(,) and I saw the Lock Ness monster, which I hadn't seen it before. It was scary to look at. (My family and me) met a man who told us he would show us the Lauriston Castle the nex(mangler noget?)

Sætningerne er dog stadigvæk delvis rodet grammatisk, især med punktum/komma. Jeg har rettet noget af det uden at omskrive for meget.

 Bid også lige mærke i at det staves Loch Ness.

Hvad skal jeg gøre ved den sorte markerede tekst?

 Hazzelnødders fjernelse af kommaer er ikke så heldig.

My holiday in Scotland
I’m in the capital of Scotland; it’s a beautiful city with lovely buildings.
On my trip I saw the Holyrood Palace, and inside the Edinburgh Castle, I saw a fantastic show with a military band, dancing and playing bagpipe. I was in Edinburgh Zoo, where I saw Scotland’s largest and most exciting animal collection, the tigers, gorillas and giraffes were my family’s favorite.
On my trip I also saw Loch Ness; it’s a lake that’s about 23 miles long, one mile wide and up to 300 meters deep. Because the lake is so deep and dark the Loch Ness is the ideal hiding place for a prehistoric colony of monsters, including the Loch Ness Monster which I was so fortunate to see, I hadn’t seen it before, so it was rather scary to look at. Later, I and my family met a man who told us he would show us the Lauriston Castle the next day.

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My holiday in Scotland
I’m in the capital of Scotland; it’s a beautiful city with lovely buildings.
On my trip I saw the (Holyrood) Holirood Palace, and inside the Edinburgh Castle, I saw a fantastic show with a military band, dancing and playing bagpipe. I was in Edinburgh Zoo, where I saw Scotland’s largest and most exciting (animal) collection(, t) of animals. The tigers, gorillas and giraffes were my family’s (favorite) favourites.
(On) During my trip I also saw Loch Ness; it’s a lake that’s about 23 miles long, one mile wide and up to 300 meters deep. Because the lake is so deep and dark the Loch Ness is the ideal hiding place for a prehistoric colony of monsters, including the Loch Ness Monster, which I was so fortunate to see(,). I hadn’t seen it before, so it was rather scary to lo???

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Det er et smaddergodt forslag, på et ret autentisk engelsk, til en oversættelse,  .......meget,. meget bedre end noget af det andet.