Engelsk
Engelsk summary - hjælp til rettelse?
hej venner. kunne virkelig godt bruge en mester i engelsk til at hjælpe mig med at rette denne tekst.
et af mine problemer er at jeg skrifter imellem nutid og datid. og da jeg skal aflevere den imorgen inden kl 22 er jeg lidt tidspresset. :D
på forhånd mange tusind tak!
Summary – Just like that
The story is about a boy and a man, who is out and hunts kangaroos. The plan with the hunting is for the boy to become a man. The man shoots the first kangaroo right through its neck and it dies fast. The boy is very fascinated because he has never seen anything like this before. Then the boy shoots his first kangaroo, but when he stands over the kangaroo he feels nothing, no change. The kangaroo wasn’t dead, so he shot it again and then it got limp. The boy was disappointed, he had expected more. Then they came to a large mob of kangaroos and the boy shoots a lot of them, more than once. He’s shooting until his ammunition is spent. And then he’s surprised of himself and points the empty rifle towards the man and the man gets upset, even the rifle is empty. They walks around the mark to check if the kangaroos are dead and the man shoots each of them in the brain and something inside the boy dies. Suddenly the boy sees a huge kangaroo, the leader (a buck) and he says to himself, that if he kills this kangaroo, he will become a man. He shoots and shoots at the kangaroo and finally the buck falls to the ground. Again the boy is standing over the dead kangaroo and he can see that it has been pulverized by the slugs and the boy imagines it full of maggots. Tears come to the boys eyes. He feels nothing, like he was dead. His sight is blurred by his tears and he looks at the man from behind. He lifts up his rifle and the last thing he says is “dead”, just like the man said about all the kangaroos.
Svar #1
19. september 2011 af jordbærtærten (Slettet)
Hej,
Du har skrevet et udemærket summary.
Jeg har lavet nogle få rettelser i den. Du har valgt at skrive den i nutid, så jeg har gjort, så det holder et nutids-feel overalt. Jeg har valgt at erstatte enkelte ord med nogle andre, og måske andre ting hist pist.
Se om du kan bruge det til noget.
En lille feedback: Du skal overveje at skrive længere sætninger. Som du gør nu skriver du korte simple sætninger. Det er ikke forkert, og på den måde undgår du komplicerede sætninger, og dermed undgår du mulige fejl. Men ved at skrive længere sætninger demonstrerer du sprogligt overblik. Det giver mere bonus.
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The story is about a boy and a man hunting kangaroos. The purpose of the hunting is for the boy to become a man. The man shoots the first kangaroo right through its neck and it dies quickly. The boy is very fascinated because he has never seen anything like this before. Then the boy shoots his first kangaroo, but when he stands over the kangaroo he feels nothing. The kangaroo is not dead, so he shoots it again and then it gets a limp. The boy is disappointed, as he had expected more. Then they come to a large group of kangaroos and the boy shoots a lot of them, more than once. He is shooting until his ammunition is used up. And then he’s surprised of himself and points the empty rifle towards the man and the man gets upset since the rifle is empty. They walk around the terrain to check if the kangaroos are dead and the man shoots each of them in the brain with something inside the boy dying. Suddenly the boy sees a huge kangaroo, the leader (a buck) and he says to himself, that if he kills this kangaroo, he will become a man. He shoots and shoots at the kangaroo and finally the buck falls to the ground. Again the boy is standing over the dead kangaroo and he can see that it has been pulverized by the slugs and the boy imagines it full of maggots. Tears come to the eyes of the boy. He feels nothing, and it is as if he was dead. His sight is blurred by his tears and he looks at the man from behind. He lifts up his rifle and the last thing he says is “dead”, just like the man said about all the kangaroos.
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