Engelsk rettelse

Hejsa verdens sødeste mennesker.

Jeg vil blive meget glad, hvis I kunne rette min engels stil. 

it ´s very important!!!

Hav en fortsat god aften;-)

(Den her stil handler om en musik videom, hvor der er en "levende" mælk i musik videoen. Jeg har skrevet den fra mælkens synsvinkel. Dvs. Jeg fotæller) 

Music video Coffee and TV
Milky’s story:
A new day was beginning, the breakfast was on the table, but no one would eat in this bad day. It was the fourth day, and the family couldn’t still find their lost boy. I was stood on the table, and was very depressed for the parents’ behalf. The sons little sister was very busy to ring too many people, and hear about her lost brother. But the people don’t know where he was. There don’t came something news. Then I had decided to find their son, I could not stand that they were so unhappy.
On my way I had experience many different things. Among other the old lady was working with mow the grass, and she was near to mow me down with that big thing. And then there came a huge motorbike. I was afraid to die. But I would do anything to find the boy.
I thought I was in a zoo; the people were like some wild animals. I asked many people to have help on my way, but some of them tried to attack me. Suddenly I saw the world’s most beautiful girl; I was being in love with her. But evenly I came to her; there came a big man and trod on her. She was gone. Now I could see how woeful it was to lose something.
It was begun to be dark in this big city. I looked into a window, and saw a band who sang a song, and one of them was the lost boy. Finally I had found him.
We both were in the bus, and we were on one’s way to the family.
Even then we came to the house, was the boy thirsty, so he began to suck all my blood. And then he drops me into a dustbin. I was too gone.
There were two things I was glad for right now. Glad for the family’s behalf, and glad to be together with the girl I was in love with in the heaven. Now it would be me and her forever.