Rettelse af engelsk stil - HASTER!

Hej alle! :)
Jeg har virkelig brug for at få hjælp til at finde fejl i min stil, da jeg virkelig har på fornemmelsen at den er fyldt med fejl, jeg kan bare ikke finde dem.. Er der ikke nogen der vil hjælpe mig?


She was petrified. The darkness surrounded her. Every corner of the room was invisible, and she could nothing see. There was nothing but the cold and terrifying darkness. She squeezed the teddy bear, she held in her arms. Her mother bought the teddy bear to her as a birthday present a few years ago. Now, the only thing that was comfortable, the only safe thing was her teddy bear. She brought the teddy bear everywhere. Her daddy left her when she needed it the most. He just left without a reason. Since then, the trust to everyone around her broke and burned and since then, she was scared of the dark. The wall was built. Nobody could get to her. She stared into the darkness, wondering how many things could hurt her. The darkness was unsafe. No one can trust the darkness, because you never know what happens when you can’t see. She couldn’t sleep. She bit her lip, harder and harder till it bled. Yes, it did hurt, but when she focused on the pain, she almost forgot the darkness. Not for long. A tear fell from her eyes, followed by many others. She began to cry. She didn’t know why, she was just panicking. Everything became too much for her, and she couldn’t take it anymore.