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"Blackberries"

This is the perspective, thoughts and decisions of the elderly woman throughout the shorts story "Blackberries". She writes about her feelings and her worries in her dairy, and it is her way to come clean.

Dear Diary,

I used to believe that my existence could be too perfect, that when life was going great, maybe even to great, it would not last for long. It was just a silly uneasiness I suppose – though one day I heard about this guy James, who obviously had the whole package; the most charming smile, good looks, a muscular body – you know the phrase. Anyway, my entire body just felt like it was drunk, yeah, my stomach was really literally tumbling around like a carousel. I can still remember my first thoughts, they were as following: “Don’t fall for this guy, you know you will get hurt, you know that it won't be you and him forever. It is not a fairytale, where the Prince Charming comes charging to pick you up on his graceful white horse“ and now what? What should I do? I can’t keep ignoring my feelings. They aren’t there anymore. The fragile flame has no longer a spark to it. I must live my life as any other day, I will walk on this defying earth. I still went on this stupid trip. I am so dumb. I was just laying there in the peacefull forest, when these thoughts came to me. Imaginably they drifted in with the pleasant summer breeze with no warning. I suddenly felt so alive, so vital, so complete. In that exact moment my life started over, I was hungry, hungry for the unknown, hungry for everything. But I am so frightend to leave him, what is out there for me? It is just like an empty space, with no mercy for my fragile existence. Or is it? We have lived in an akward silence for so many years now, I can’t keep going like this, it is not realistic. But, but, but, there is so many buts, when do I have the gut to say no, when do I get to live my life to its fullest? Yeah, that is the 100-dollar qustion. But am I not the master of my own destiny? I am going to tell him, I am going to tell him how awfull it has been lately, I am going to say how bad I felt on the trip, I am going say to him  “You are not my soulmate anymore, but you will always have a special place in my heart”

This short text concerns an elderly man in the short story "Blackberries". He writes about the problems and thoughts he faces in the relationship with his wife.

Dear Diary,

people always told me to be careful of what you do, do not go around breaking young girls hearts, and mother always told me to be careful of who you chose to fall in love with and to be careful of what you say because the lies often becomes the truth. Even though this trip was a great idea, it was not what I had been expected. I am really trying to look back on the last few days when things were going great, maybe even to great. Because she is still the most beautiful creature I have ever seen in my life. I remember the gust caressing her uncovered shoulders, noticing her fine hairs, and looking at her blond hair bleached by the warm sun. I recall thinking of her fine shades and colours; it was like a fine teak. I remember her lying there at the tent, so innocent and majestic at the same time. What should I do? Is it the right thing to do? Should I continue? God, I am so confused, I can not be this uncertaint all the time. But all these memories keep popping up in my head, they are so restless, they keep sticking to me, saying that I should fight, but I am still so insecure. Nonetheless she suddenly turned within a second, but I chose to ignore it, she was blooming like the loveliest flower and her scent were quite magical. The blackberries were my saviours, now I had the precious time to think. It was so quiet and relieving, the forest talked, the birds sang, the trees rustled and my breath became heavier and heavier. Now I am lost, lost in the heat of it all, girl you know I am lost, lost in the thrill of it all.