Engelsk
"HASTER" Rettelser af engelsk stil
14. december 2006 af
T.J (Slettet)
Har virkelig brug for en hjælpende hånd til min engelsk stil. håber der er en venlig sjæl derude som vil give en hånd. TAK.
In the beginning of the tale you meet a salesman. He is travelling through the southwest with jewellery and giftware. He picks up a hitchhiker who turns out to be a really bad man to pick up. The hitchhiker that we later get to know as Ray, shoots the salesman in the head four times. The salesman just won’t die so after a wile the starts talking to each other. Ray gets so bad conscience after watching how nobly the salesman behaves in front of Ray, and his beautiful view on life, even though Ray brutal shot him in the head. But even though the bad conscience is eating Ray up in side, he just can’t let the salesman go, in fear of some jail time later on, if the salesman chooses to press charges against him. The two men then discuss what to do in this specific situation. Then suddenly the two men come up with a bargain they both can agree on. They shook hands and then the wanders there separate ways.
You get a picture early in the telling, of a salesman who just don’t have any worries in he’s life. That comes to expression when the salesman picks up the stranger on the road. The stranger could have been any one but the salesman doesn’t care, he pulls his car of the road and lets the strange man just wade right in to the salesman’s car. That is an astonishingly weird move from our salesman in my eyes, because when you’re driving around with a car full of jewellery, it sure isn’t the first thing that will come on my mind, to help an unknown hitchhiker. Especially not, if the hitchhiker looks small, muscular, wiry and little bit gaunt, as if he cut be a desperate man, after some quick cash. But he does. And that I think, tells us a lot about his character. Some other incidents that come to mind are, first how the salesman reacts after the shooting incident. The salesman just talks quit calmly, and I got that expression that he is being almost friendly in his tone. (“A Shot in the Light, Salesman; Here I am………………Maybe I’m not supposed to die?”) the few words from the salesman after the just recent shooting incident. I find that reaction really hard to understand. But then again, if you se how he talks himself calmly, and making peace with all his relatives in his mind, just few seconds before the shooting, the reaction maybe isn’t that hard to understand. The man has just watch his entire life pass in review, so what is there really more to say, then “Here I am?”. Its actually the sentence the salesman says just after, that catches my eyes. Its were the salesman is saying (“A Shot in the Light, Salesman; This was very strange. Who was writing the script?”) What is that all about? Is the salesman really a loony person? Why is he talking about a script, does he believe that he’s in a fantasy world were it’s all really just an act, with an actually script. Or is it just another way to say that it only could have been god that were interfering and was rewritten the script in advantage of our salesman. Something changes in the salesman’s life, that for sure. I think the salesman comes out of this incident with some new perspective on life. That also shows in his comment when the salesman realizes that he lives to se another day. (“A Shot in the Light, Salesman; How Beautiful the world was to my new eyes. Everything shone as if made of sparkling crystal”) That sentence say a lot about what person the salesman has involved into after the shooting.
It is not just the salesman who changes in the shooting event. Also the shooter, Ray, changes a lot. His whole perspective of life is degrading. I really don’t believe that Ray ever, has had any good memories or events that he couldn’t live without. So when he meets the salesman and he’s forced to except that there really are some friendly and amazing people on this earth. But Ray really finds it difficult that the salesman is reacting the way he does. Its clearly shows it when Ray is asking the Salesman what he would do if Ray just handed him the gun, and the Salesman said (“A Shot in the Light, Salesman; My answer was my first thought:” I’d throw it out into the water”) and Ray answers (“A Shot in the Light, Ray; Aren’t you mad at me, man?………………………”) I think that really trembles his world. It makes Ray think, that maybe there is a hope for a better life, and that frightens him a lot.
The story is about the will to live, and no matter how bad the situation looks, you can always make it better if you think positive. Don’t ever give up because and angel can wait right around the corner and come and wipe your feet away. Give people a second change, they might surprise you.
The title also stands for pretty much the same as the theme. A shot in the light could be an expression, “give it a shot” like in Danish there are a way of speech “a shot in the fog” and I believe that it’s almost the same expression, with the same contents. You never know, but give it a try. Just in two different sentences.
In the beginning of the tale you meet a salesman. He is travelling through the southwest with jewellery and giftware. He picks up a hitchhiker who turns out to be a really bad man to pick up. The hitchhiker that we later get to know as Ray, shoots the salesman in the head four times. The salesman just won’t die so after a wile the starts talking to each other. Ray gets so bad conscience after watching how nobly the salesman behaves in front of Ray, and his beautiful view on life, even though Ray brutal shot him in the head. But even though the bad conscience is eating Ray up in side, he just can’t let the salesman go, in fear of some jail time later on, if the salesman chooses to press charges against him. The two men then discuss what to do in this specific situation. Then suddenly the two men come up with a bargain they both can agree on. They shook hands and then the wanders there separate ways.
You get a picture early in the telling, of a salesman who just don’t have any worries in he’s life. That comes to expression when the salesman picks up the stranger on the road. The stranger could have been any one but the salesman doesn’t care, he pulls his car of the road and lets the strange man just wade right in to the salesman’s car. That is an astonishingly weird move from our salesman in my eyes, because when you’re driving around with a car full of jewellery, it sure isn’t the first thing that will come on my mind, to help an unknown hitchhiker. Especially not, if the hitchhiker looks small, muscular, wiry and little bit gaunt, as if he cut be a desperate man, after some quick cash. But he does. And that I think, tells us a lot about his character. Some other incidents that come to mind are, first how the salesman reacts after the shooting incident. The salesman just talks quit calmly, and I got that expression that he is being almost friendly in his tone. (“A Shot in the Light, Salesman; Here I am………………Maybe I’m not supposed to die?”) the few words from the salesman after the just recent shooting incident. I find that reaction really hard to understand. But then again, if you se how he talks himself calmly, and making peace with all his relatives in his mind, just few seconds before the shooting, the reaction maybe isn’t that hard to understand. The man has just watch his entire life pass in review, so what is there really more to say, then “Here I am?”. Its actually the sentence the salesman says just after, that catches my eyes. Its were the salesman is saying (“A Shot in the Light, Salesman; This was very strange. Who was writing the script?”) What is that all about? Is the salesman really a loony person? Why is he talking about a script, does he believe that he’s in a fantasy world were it’s all really just an act, with an actually script. Or is it just another way to say that it only could have been god that were interfering and was rewritten the script in advantage of our salesman. Something changes in the salesman’s life, that for sure. I think the salesman comes out of this incident with some new perspective on life. That also shows in his comment when the salesman realizes that he lives to se another day. (“A Shot in the Light, Salesman; How Beautiful the world was to my new eyes. Everything shone as if made of sparkling crystal”) That sentence say a lot about what person the salesman has involved into after the shooting.
It is not just the salesman who changes in the shooting event. Also the shooter, Ray, changes a lot. His whole perspective of life is degrading. I really don’t believe that Ray ever, has had any good memories or events that he couldn’t live without. So when he meets the salesman and he’s forced to except that there really are some friendly and amazing people on this earth. But Ray really finds it difficult that the salesman is reacting the way he does. Its clearly shows it when Ray is asking the Salesman what he would do if Ray just handed him the gun, and the Salesman said (“A Shot in the Light, Salesman; My answer was my first thought:” I’d throw it out into the water”) and Ray answers (“A Shot in the Light, Ray; Aren’t you mad at me, man?………………………”) I think that really trembles his world. It makes Ray think, that maybe there is a hope for a better life, and that frightens him a lot.
The story is about the will to live, and no matter how bad the situation looks, you can always make it better if you think positive. Don’t ever give up because and angel can wait right around the corner and come and wipe your feet away. Give people a second change, they might surprise you.
The title also stands for pretty much the same as the theme. A shot in the light could be an expression, “give it a shot” like in Danish there are a way of speech “a shot in the fog” and I believe that it’s almost the same expression, with the same contents. You never know, but give it a try. Just in two different sentences.
Svar #1
14. december 2006 af Lisa02 (Slettet)
( ) Slettet
// INDSÆTTES
You (get)/got/ a picture early in the telling, of a salesman who (just) don’t have any worries in (he’s) /His/ life
Jeg ville havde sagt det på denne måde:
Early you/we got a picture of a salesmand who's so lucky to not have any worries in his life.
- Fejltype:
Husk datid --> early in the telling..
Du bruger for meget JUST igennem hele din stl
Du skrev he's det betyder = HE IS, det hedder HIS
(Its)(It's) actually the sentence the salesman says just after, that
- Fejltypte:
Husk nu '
The story is about the will(hvad mener du?) to live, and no matter how bad the situation looks/is, you can always make it better if you think positive. Don’t (ever) give up, because an(d) angel can wait right around the corner and come and wipe your feet away. Give people a second change, they might surprise you.
The title (also) stands for pretty much the same as the theme. A shot in the light could be an expression, “give it a shot” like in Danish there are a way of speech “a shot in the fog” and I believe that it’s almost the same expression, with the same contents. You never know, but give it a try. Just in two different sentences.
- Din stil er lidt uforståelige :s, men ellers er den fin, jeg har ikke rettet så meget, for mange af dine sætninger skal omformuleres.
Men ellers fint.
// INDSÆTTES
You (get)/got/ a picture early in the telling, of a salesman who (just) don’t have any worries in (he’s) /His/ life
Jeg ville havde sagt det på denne måde:
Early you/we got a picture of a salesmand who's so lucky to not have any worries in his life.
- Fejltype:
Husk datid --> early in the telling..
Du bruger for meget JUST igennem hele din stl
Du skrev he's det betyder = HE IS, det hedder HIS
(Its)(It's) actually the sentence the salesman says just after, that
- Fejltypte:
Husk nu '
The story is about the will(hvad mener du?) to live, and no matter how bad the situation looks/is, you can always make it better if you think positive. Don’t (ever) give up, because an(d) angel can wait right around the corner and come and wipe your feet away. Give people a second change, they might surprise you.
The title (also) stands for pretty much the same as the theme. A shot in the light could be an expression, “give it a shot” like in Danish there are a way of speech “a shot in the fog” and I believe that it’s almost the same expression, with the same contents. You never know, but give it a try. Just in two different sentences.
- Din stil er lidt uforståelige :s, men ellers er den fin, jeg har ikke rettet så meget, for mange af dine sætninger skal omformuleres.
Men ellers fint.
Svar #2
15. december 2006 af Akademic (Slettet)
Hej
Jeg har ikke highlighted de steder jeg har rettet o_0
In the beginning of the tale, you meet a sales clerk. He is travelling through the southwest with jewellery and giftware. He picks up a hitchhiker who turns out to be a bad man to pick up. The hitchhiker that we later get to know as Ray shoots the sales clerk in the head four times. The sales clerk just will not die so after a wile the starts talking to each other. Ray gets so bad conscience after watching how nobly the sales clerk behaves in front of Ray, and his beautiful view on life, even though Ray brutal shot him in the head. However, even though the bad conscience is eating Ray up in side, he just cannot let the sales clerk go, in fear of some jail time later on, if the sales clerk chooses to press charges against him. The two men then discuss what to do in this specific situation. Then suddenly the two men came up with a bargain that they both agreed. They shook hands and then the wanders there separate ways.
You get a picture early in the telling of a sales clerk who just does not have any worries in his life. That comes to expression when the sales clerk picks up the stranger on the road. The stranger could have been any one but the sales clerk does not care, he pulls his car of the road and lets the strange man just wade right in to the sales clerk’s car. That is an astonishingly weird move from our sales clerk in my eyes, because when you are driving around with a car full of jewellery, it sure is not the first thing that will come on my mind, to help an unknown hitchhiker. Especially not, if the hitchhiker looks small, muscular, wiry and little bit gaunt, as if he cut be a desperate man, after some quick cash. However, he does. In addition, that I think, tells us a lot about his character. Some other incidents that come to mind are, first how the sales clerk reacts after the shooting incident. The sales clerk just talks quit calmly, and I got that expression that he is being almost friendly in his tone. (“A Shot in the Light, Salesman; Here I am………………Maybe I’m not supposed to die?”) The few words from the sales clerk after the just recent shooting incident. I find that reaction hard to understand. But then again, if you se how he talks himself calmly, and making peace with all his relatives in his mind, just few seconds before the shooting, the reaction maybe isn’t that hard to understand. The man has just watched his entire life pass in review, so what is there really more to say, and then “Here I am?” It is actually the sentence the sales clerk says just after, that catches my eyes. It is the sales clerk is saying (“A Shot in the Light, Salesman; this was very strange. Who was writing the script?”) What is that all about? Is the sales clerk really a loony person? Why is he talking about a script, does he believe that he is in a fantasy world were it is all really just an act, with an actually script. On the other hand, is it just another way to say that it only could have been god that were interfering and was rewritten the script in advantage of our sales clerk. Something changes in the sales clerk’s life, that for sure. I think the sales clerk comes out of this incident with some new perspective on life. That also shows in his comment when the sales clerk realizes that he lives to se another day. (“A Shot in the Light, Salesman; How Beautiful the world was to my new eyes. Everything shone as if made of sparkling crystal”) that sentence say a lot, about what person the sales clerk has involved into after the shooting.
It is not just the sales clerk who changes in the shooting event. In addition, the shooter, Ray, changes a lot. His whole perspective of life is degrading. I really do not believe that Ray ever, has had any good memories or events that he could not live without. So when he meets the sales clerk, he is forced to except that there really are some friendly and amazing people on this earth. Nevertheless, Ray really finds it difficult that the sales clerk is reacting the way he does. It clearly shows it when Ray is asking the sales clerk what he would do if Ray just handed him the gun, and the sales clerk said “A Shot in the Light, Salesman; My answer was my first thought:” I’d throw it out into the water” and Ray answers “A Shot in the Light, Ray; Aren’t you mad at me, man?………………………” I think that, this truly trembles his world. It makes Ray think, that maybe there is a hope for a better life, and that frightens him a lot.
The story is about the will to live, and no matter how bad the situation looks, you can always make it better if you think positive. Do not ever give up because and angel can wait right around the corner and come and wipe your feet away. Give people a second change they might surprise you.
The title also stands for pretty much the same as the theme. A shot in the light could be an expression, “give it a shot” like in Danish there are a way of speech “a shot in the fog” and I believe that it is almost the same expression, with the same contents. You never know, but give it a try. Just in two different sentences.
Dine fejl ligger primært i at du glemmer apostrof, og at du simpelthen skal huske at ikke bruge sammentrækninger! Det hader lærer! Udover det skal du overveje dit ordvalg da mange af de samme ord går igen - really, just etc. etc.
-Akademic-
Jeg har ikke highlighted de steder jeg har rettet o_0
In the beginning of the tale, you meet a sales clerk. He is travelling through the southwest with jewellery and giftware. He picks up a hitchhiker who turns out to be a bad man to pick up. The hitchhiker that we later get to know as Ray shoots the sales clerk in the head four times. The sales clerk just will not die so after a wile the starts talking to each other. Ray gets so bad conscience after watching how nobly the sales clerk behaves in front of Ray, and his beautiful view on life, even though Ray brutal shot him in the head. However, even though the bad conscience is eating Ray up in side, he just cannot let the sales clerk go, in fear of some jail time later on, if the sales clerk chooses to press charges against him. The two men then discuss what to do in this specific situation. Then suddenly the two men came up with a bargain that they both agreed. They shook hands and then the wanders there separate ways.
You get a picture early in the telling of a sales clerk who just does not have any worries in his life. That comes to expression when the sales clerk picks up the stranger on the road. The stranger could have been any one but the sales clerk does not care, he pulls his car of the road and lets the strange man just wade right in to the sales clerk’s car. That is an astonishingly weird move from our sales clerk in my eyes, because when you are driving around with a car full of jewellery, it sure is not the first thing that will come on my mind, to help an unknown hitchhiker. Especially not, if the hitchhiker looks small, muscular, wiry and little bit gaunt, as if he cut be a desperate man, after some quick cash. However, he does. In addition, that I think, tells us a lot about his character. Some other incidents that come to mind are, first how the sales clerk reacts after the shooting incident. The sales clerk just talks quit calmly, and I got that expression that he is being almost friendly in his tone. (“A Shot in the Light, Salesman; Here I am………………Maybe I’m not supposed to die?”) The few words from the sales clerk after the just recent shooting incident. I find that reaction hard to understand. But then again, if you se how he talks himself calmly, and making peace with all his relatives in his mind, just few seconds before the shooting, the reaction maybe isn’t that hard to understand. The man has just watched his entire life pass in review, so what is there really more to say, and then “Here I am?” It is actually the sentence the sales clerk says just after, that catches my eyes. It is the sales clerk is saying (“A Shot in the Light, Salesman; this was very strange. Who was writing the script?”) What is that all about? Is the sales clerk really a loony person? Why is he talking about a script, does he believe that he is in a fantasy world were it is all really just an act, with an actually script. On the other hand, is it just another way to say that it only could have been god that were interfering and was rewritten the script in advantage of our sales clerk. Something changes in the sales clerk’s life, that for sure. I think the sales clerk comes out of this incident with some new perspective on life. That also shows in his comment when the sales clerk realizes that he lives to se another day. (“A Shot in the Light, Salesman; How Beautiful the world was to my new eyes. Everything shone as if made of sparkling crystal”) that sentence say a lot, about what person the sales clerk has involved into after the shooting.
It is not just the sales clerk who changes in the shooting event. In addition, the shooter, Ray, changes a lot. His whole perspective of life is degrading. I really do not believe that Ray ever, has had any good memories or events that he could not live without. So when he meets the sales clerk, he is forced to except that there really are some friendly and amazing people on this earth. Nevertheless, Ray really finds it difficult that the sales clerk is reacting the way he does. It clearly shows it when Ray is asking the sales clerk what he would do if Ray just handed him the gun, and the sales clerk said “A Shot in the Light, Salesman; My answer was my first thought:” I’d throw it out into the water” and Ray answers “A Shot in the Light, Ray; Aren’t you mad at me, man?………………………” I think that, this truly trembles his world. It makes Ray think, that maybe there is a hope for a better life, and that frightens him a lot.
The story is about the will to live, and no matter how bad the situation looks, you can always make it better if you think positive. Do not ever give up because and angel can wait right around the corner and come and wipe your feet away. Give people a second change they might surprise you.
The title also stands for pretty much the same as the theme. A shot in the light could be an expression, “give it a shot” like in Danish there are a way of speech “a shot in the fog” and I believe that it is almost the same expression, with the same contents. You never know, but give it a try. Just in two different sentences.
Dine fejl ligger primært i at du glemmer apostrof, og at du simpelthen skal huske at ikke bruge sammentrækninger! Det hader lærer! Udover det skal du overveje dit ordvalg da mange af de samme ord går igen - really, just etc. etc.
-Akademic-
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