Engelsk
er den ved at være god?
13. januar 2008 af
ilubabs (Slettet)
hej ,,
vil du ikk læse denne igennem , rette fejl, tilføje måske give gode råd?
It was the 29th of November, the night before the 30th of November 1990 . That night became unforgettable for everyone. I was supposed to fly to Hawaii, but the flight crashed down on a deserted island. The weather was unfortunately as bad as the flight-crash, with heavy rain and thunderstorm. My aeroplane was not easy to steer. The aeroplane had the control over me as it was swaying around totally out of control.
Suddenly I lost the control over the aeroplane, and the aeroplane was about to crash down somewhere that looked like to be an island. I panicked and said through the loudspeaker: “hold on people". I don’t remember how the aeroplane crashed, because it all happened so quickly. I woke up, after one or two hours, it was not so though. I lay there maybe for a couple of days, I couldn't remember what day it was. My aeroplane was all destroyed, so was the passengers, it was a disaster a totally heart-breaking experience, that I has effected me very deeply. Now, I’m all alone, and do not know what to do
I looked around and I saw a man, he goes towards me. I was scared, but then he comes to me he told me at he was one of the passengers, but it was Only him there survived the crashed and of course me. He told me at there had been a life team for fetch all the passengers, but know one was in live. The man I asking with goes out in the weather and disappeared. Now, I’m alone. I goes along the beach. The sun was pretty. The Birds was singing, they was happy, but not me. I laid down on the beach, I was very tired and hungry.
vil du ikk læse denne igennem , rette fejl, tilføje måske give gode råd?
It was the 29th of November, the night before the 30th of November 1990 . That night became unforgettable for everyone. I was supposed to fly to Hawaii, but the flight crashed down on a deserted island. The weather was unfortunately as bad as the flight-crash, with heavy rain and thunderstorm. My aeroplane was not easy to steer. The aeroplane had the control over me as it was swaying around totally out of control.
Suddenly I lost the control over the aeroplane, and the aeroplane was about to crash down somewhere that looked like to be an island. I panicked and said through the loudspeaker: “hold on people". I don’t remember how the aeroplane crashed, because it all happened so quickly. I woke up, after one or two hours, it was not so though. I lay there maybe for a couple of days, I couldn't remember what day it was. My aeroplane was all destroyed, so was the passengers, it was a disaster a totally heart-breaking experience, that I has effected me very deeply. Now, I’m all alone, and do not know what to do
I looked around and I saw a man, he goes towards me. I was scared, but then he comes to me he told me at he was one of the passengers, but it was Only him there survived the crashed and of course me. He told me at there had been a life team for fetch all the passengers, but know one was in live. The man I asking with goes out in the weather and disappeared. Now, I’m alone. I goes along the beach. The sun was pretty. The Birds was singing, they was happy, but not me. I laid down on the beach, I was very tired and hungry.
Svar #1
13. januar 2008 af Alethea (Slettet)
Hej, hvis det er mig du mener så ja da:) du skal bare huske ikke at blande tiderne sammen; nogle steder skriver du i nutid og andre i datid, først, inden du starter med at skrive en stil så sid ned og bestem dig for hvilken tid du vil anvende.
It was the 29th of November, the night before the 30th of November 1990 . That night became unforgettable for everyone. I was supposed to fly to Hawaii, but the flight crashed down on a deserted island. The weather was unfortunately as bad as the flight-crash, with heavy rain and thunderstorm. My aeroplane was not easy to steer. The aeroplane had the control over me as it was swaying around totally out of control.
Suddenly I lost the control over the aeroplane, and the aeroplane was about to crash down somewhere that looked like to be an island. I panicked and said through the loudspeaker: “hold on people". I don’t remember how the aeroplane crashed, because it all happened so quickly. I woke up, after one or two hours. It's a miracle that I survived. I lay there maybe for a couple of days, I couldn't remember what day it was. My aeroplane was all destroyed, so was the passengers, it was a disaster a totally heart-breaking experience, that I has effected me very deeply. I looked around and found myself alone.
Then I saw a man, he came closer and closer. I was scared, but suddenly he took my hand and told me to take it easy, because he had survived the crash as well. I was very surprised and very tired. I barely could feel my feet. He told me that there had been a life team for fetch all the passengers, but they left af they couldn't find anyone alive. It was a really strange experience, this man, who survived the crash just like me,suddenly dissapeared. Now, I was alone again. Even if I couldn't feel my feet, I forced myself to stand up and walk, and so I did. I saw a beach not so far away from the aeroplane, so I went there. I thought to begin with, that I had been sleeping for a couple of hours, but as I looked at the sky and the sea, I could see that I was wrong, because the sun was about to rise. I must have been sleeping for many many hours. The birds were singing all ready, they seemed to be happy, but I wasn't. I lay down on the beach, I was very tired and hungry.
håber det hjalp. du skal huske at sammenholde meningen, du startede med at sige at vejret var dårligt også skriver du at solen skinner! husk tidslinjen og husk sammenhængen, men ellers få fejl. er det en gymnasie stil eller folkeskole?
It was the 29th of November, the night before the 30th of November 1990 . That night became unforgettable for everyone. I was supposed to fly to Hawaii, but the flight crashed down on a deserted island. The weather was unfortunately as bad as the flight-crash, with heavy rain and thunderstorm. My aeroplane was not easy to steer. The aeroplane had the control over me as it was swaying around totally out of control.
Suddenly I lost the control over the aeroplane, and the aeroplane was about to crash down somewhere that looked like to be an island. I panicked and said through the loudspeaker: “hold on people". I don’t remember how the aeroplane crashed, because it all happened so quickly. I woke up, after one or two hours. It's a miracle that I survived. I lay there maybe for a couple of days, I couldn't remember what day it was. My aeroplane was all destroyed, so was the passengers, it was a disaster a totally heart-breaking experience, that I has effected me very deeply. I looked around and found myself alone.
Then I saw a man, he came closer and closer. I was scared, but suddenly he took my hand and told me to take it easy, because he had survived the crash as well. I was very surprised and very tired. I barely could feel my feet. He told me that there had been a life team for fetch all the passengers, but they left af they couldn't find anyone alive. It was a really strange experience, this man, who survived the crash just like me,suddenly dissapeared. Now, I was alone again. Even if I couldn't feel my feet, I forced myself to stand up and walk, and so I did. I saw a beach not so far away from the aeroplane, so I went there. I thought to begin with, that I had been sleeping for a couple of hours, but as I looked at the sky and the sea, I could see that I was wrong, because the sun was about to rise. I must have been sleeping for many many hours. The birds were singing all ready, they seemed to be happy, but I wasn't. I lay down on the beach, I was very tired and hungry.
håber det hjalp. du skal huske at sammenholde meningen, du startede med at sige at vejret var dårligt også skriver du at solen skinner! husk tidslinjen og husk sammenhængen, men ellers få fejl. er det en gymnasie stil eller folkeskole?
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