Rettelse af engelsk stil?

Er der nogen der har tid til at løbe min stil igennem? det er fra opgaven EATING SUGAR.. på forhånd mange tak:)

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Eating Sugar

The short story,”Eating Sugar” was written by Catherine Merriman and was published in 2001.

This short was written in 3rd person narrator, but we only get to know the thoughts of the father Alex who also is the main character. He is in Thailand with his wife Eileen in April during the Thai New Year holiday, Song Khran. The only reason why they travel in this stressed week is that it is their only possibility to visit their daughter Suzanne. Suzanne is working as an English teacher and this week is the only time she has off.

They have just been on a trip to see a waterfall when they end up on a deserted road. Eileen is close to panic because she knows that if they get lost, they never will be able to find back home to their flat. In this part of Bangkok, no one speaks English and they would be very helpless. Everything about them is so opposite the Thai culture. The image of Alex and Eileen, two unknown tourists in an unknown country is comparable to “Tourist 2”, a sculpture made by Duane Hanson in 1988. The sculpture images two tourists who are dressed in relaxed clothes and with all kinds of “tourist accessories”. The attitude they indicate is comparable to the feelings and thoughts Alex and Eileen have in Thailand; helpless foreigners in a completely different culture.

The fact that they are so vulnerable in this culture makes Alex very uncomfortable and nervous. But even though he is close to panic, he remains calm and tries not to act stressful. His wife’s reactions are a complete contrast, because she is not ashamed to show her feelings. She makes no secret of the fact that she is nervous about the situation and because of her constantly expressing anxiety, Alex’s own fear suppresses.

Actually is their daughter Suzanne the only on of them who remains calm. She is only twenty-one but has during her stay in Thailand transformed into a competent, patient and encouraging person. She has grown up. She has, unlike her parents,

The climax in the story is, when four Thai men suddenly emerge. One of them is extremely enthusiastic about meeting Farangs which is a rare sigh in this suburb. He starts talking to Suzanne who tries to get them a lift back to the city. Even though the Thai man seems nice and harmless, Alex’s heart begins to run and he becomes very anxious because he is aware of the fact that it will be impossible for him to protect his family if something should happen. His thoughts show how ignorant he is of the Thai culture.

These thoughts make him remember an image from his youth were Eileen had taken a shot of LSD. He compares the sense perceptions from Thailand with the mind-expansion you experience during a LSD trip. In Thailand they see palaces with roofs made of gold side by side with poverty. They see long, beautiful beaches, palm trees and the amazing ocean. Suddenly the beauty of the Thai culture spellbinds Alex and he suddenly feels “high” like if he had taken a shot of LSD. LSD is mind-expanding and so is Thailand. The myth says that sugar can help you if you are having a bad trip. The “bad trip” in the short story is the anxiety and the fear Alex gets when he feels he is losing the control over the situation. The title of the short story, “Eating Sugar” relates to Alex and his reactions on the deserted road. “eating sugar” becomes synonymous with “keeping one's composure”.

The theme in this short story is a mix between clash of cultures and the distance between youth and adulthood.
Alex has not made himself acquainted with the Thai culture and he does not trust the Thai men. That is why he reacts so oddly. He has difficulties accepting his daughter being an adult and him not being the responsible anymore.

“Follower” is a poem written by Seamus Heaney. In the poem, a person describes how fascinated he or she was in the childhood by the father who worked hard in the field with his horse-plough. The child looked so much up to it’s father and followed him everywhere he went, even though it stumbled and fell: “I stumbled in his hob-nailed wake, Fell sometimes on the polished sod; Sometimes he rode me on his back Dipping and rising to his plod.”

The poem is comparable to the short story “Eating Sugar” because there are several common features concerning the father/child relationship. Alex has always been protecting towards his daughter Suzanne and she has always been “his little girl”. Now Suzanne has grown up and suddenly she is not a child anymore. Actually, Suzanne now takes responsibility over her father. – the roles have switched. Like the father in the poem who “keeps stumbling Behind me, and will not go away” is Alex now the one who has to be taken care of.