Har brug for hjælp

Det er jo nok dit eget job.

Du kan få  hjælp til at få forklaret det du er i tvivl om.

Jaa, men hvis jeg ikke var i tvivl havde jeg nok ik bedt om hjælp, jeg mener ikke at du skal rette det hele, men bare nogle basiske ting. Så kan du forklare mig hvad jeg kan gøre bedre næste gang. 

Du må sige hvad det er som du er i tvivl om.

After they waited about 15 minutes, got the police officer a call, from another police officer. They said that they had found a little girl who fit the description. They had found Debbie in a toy store, and the toy store was located 10 minutes from Times Square. Tony, Robert and their mother took with the police officer over to the toy store. When Debbie saw her Mother, Debbie ran all the way, and jumped into their mothers arms. Now could they return home again, and never visit New York again, it´s was not the right place for them.

Det er mest her tror jeg at jeg tvivler lidt på, så hvis du lige gad at hjælpe med at redigere lidt i teksten hvis der var noget, eller evt mer korrekt Engelsk 

Rettet:

After they waited about 15 minutes the police officer got a call from another police officer. They said that they had found a little girl, who fit the description. They had found Debbie in a toy store, which was located 10 minutes from Times Square. Tony, Robert and their mother guided the officer to the toy store. When Debbie saw her mother she ran all the way and jumped into their mothers arms. Now could they return home again, and never visit New York again. It wasn't the right place for them.

- På engelsk fungerer tegnsætning ikke som på dansk. Du skal bruge meget færre kommaer

- Du behøver ikke at gentage frasen 'police officer' hver gang du henvise til ham. I stedet brug 'officer'

- Grammatikken er i orden, men du skal arbejde lidt med ordstilling og måske udvide dit engelske ordforråd. Det ville give dig et enormt overskud i stile - et stort ordforråd er vejen til et stikkert 12-tal.

Håber at jeg hjalp dig lidt =)

Tak, det prøver jeg at rette på. :)

1 minutter siden af itsbirdy

Rettet:

After they had waited about 15 minutes the police officer got a call from another police officer. They said that they had found a little girl, who fitted the description. They had found Debbie in a toy shop / store(,) which was located 10 minutes from Times Square. Tony, Robert and their mother guided the officer to the toy store. When Debbie saw her mother she ran all the way and jumped into her (their mothers) mother's arms. Now they could (they) return home (again,) and never visit New York again. It wasn't the right place for them.

- På engelsk fungerer tegnsætning ikke som på dansk. Du skal bruge meget færre kommaer

- Du behøver ikke at gentage frasen 'police officer' hver gang du henvise til ham. I stedet brug 'officer'

- Grammatikken er i orden, men du skal arbejde lidt med ordstilling og måske udvide dit engelske ordforråd. Det ville give dig et enormt overskud i stile - et stort ordforråd er vejen til et stikkert 12-tal.

Håber at jeg hjalp dig lidt =)

Tak, for hjælpen venner, det sætter jeg pris for :)