Rettelse af "My visit to..."(stil) - haster!

Det ser rigtigt godt ud. Jeg har kun få kommentarer:
 

Dear family Johnson Family

It was a pleasant surprise when I saw your welcoming letter. I really appreciate that you are letting me live in your house (jeg ville skrive stay at your house). Before I arrive, I’d like to write a little bit about myself.

My name is Hellen and I’m 15 years old. I live with my mother and my father in Copenhagen. It’s a really nice city and I love living here. Of course it’s not nearly as big as London but there is always something to do in this city. In my spare time I’m usually hanging out with my friends, playing the guitar or exercising at the gym.
I’m at in 9th grade in a private school named *navn på skole*. My favorite subjects are physics, mathematics and English. I enjoy school a lot and I also get quite good grades.  When I finish 9th grade I want to study physics, chemistry and mathematics at the “gymnasium” which is the Danish high school. I love science. I find it extremely fascinating because there are so many questions about everything that sometimes can’t (jeg ville her foretrække cannot - men det er stilistisk) be answered, and it is so mysterious but at the same time interesting.

I love travelling and visiting other countries. I find it very captivating to experience other cultures and cities because of the excitement of trying something new and different. It’s my first time travelling alone because I didn’t have the courage to take an opportunity like this before, but now I do and I’m really contented with my decision and I’m ready to get out of my comfort zone .

I’ve been in London twice and I absolutely love it. It is such a big and pulsating city with lots of different people and cultures. I love to go exploring new cities and I believe that London is a perfect place to go around and find certain spots that I personally like and being shown around by locals. My impression of “Londoners” is good. It seems like the locals are very nice and open minded – opposite as than in Denmark, where I feel like strangers give you odd looks if you talk to them.

My previous stays in London the previous times hasn’t haven't been very long – perhaps just 3 or 4 days- so I only had the chance to see the main tourist attractions such as Big Ben and Oxford Street. This time I’d like to see the local attractions and some places where the locals hang out. Of course I’m also really excited to go shopping. Another reason why I had want (fjern komma) to visit London was is to improve my English competence. I do speak English very well but I still feel that it needs (evt. that I need) to get a bit better.             .

I’m looking forward to visiting you in London!

Best regards

Hellen *efternavn*

Jeg har ikke selv nok styr på engelsk kommatering til, at jeg har villet kommentere på dette i teksten. Så det kan være, der er nogle småfejl der...

Mange tak! Det med kommaerne gør intet, min lærer siger, at det ikke er noget han vil bedømme ud fra :)

You have been given the opportunity to visit an English-speaking country. You will be there for three weeks in the summer holidays. You have just received a letter from the family you will be staying with. They have written a welcoming letter about themselves and their hometown. Write back (350-450 words) to your host family about • yourself • why you want to visit their country • what you would like to experience during your visit • explain what you would like to gain from your time there.

Dear family Johnson

It was a pleasant surprise when I saw your welcoming letter. I really appreciate(,) that you are letting me live in your house. Before I arrive, I’d (I would) like to write a little bit ( a bio) about myself.

My name is Hellen and I’m 15 years old. I live with my mother(,) and my father in (In the capital) Copenhagen. It’s a really nice city and I love living here. Of course it’s not nearly as big as London but there is always something to do in this city. In my spare time(,) I’m usually hanging out with my friends, playing the guitar or exercising at the gym.
I’m at 9th grade in a private school named *navn på skole*. My favorite subjects are physics, mathematics and English. I enjoy school a lot(,) and I also get quite good grades.  When I finish 9th grade I want to study physics, chemistry and mathematics at the “gymnasium” which is the Danish high school. I love science. I find it extremely fascinating because there are so many questions about everything that sometimes can’t be answered (Its not science but filosophy), and it is so mysterious but at the same time interesting.

I love travelling and visiting other countries. I find it very captivating to experience other cultures and cities(,) because of the excitement of trying something new and different. It’s my first time travelling alone because I didn’t have the courage to take an opportunity like this before, but now I do and I’m really contented with my decision and I’m ready to get out of my comfort zone .

I’ve been in London twice and I absolutely love it. It is (it's) such a big and pulsing city with lots of different people and cultures. I love to go exploring new cities and I believe that London is a perfect place to go around and find certain spots(,) that I personally like and being shown around by locals. My impression of “Londoners” is good. It seems like the locals are very nice and open-minded – opposite as in Denmark, where I feel like strangers give you odd looks if you talk to them.

My stay(my trip) in London the previous times hasn’t been very long – perhaps just 3 or 4 days- so I only had the chance to see the main tourist attractions such as Big Ben and Oxford Street. This time I’d like to see the local attractions and some places where the locals hang out. Of course I’m also really excited to go shopping. Another reason I had, to visit London was to improve my English competences. I do speak English very well but I still feel that it needs to get a bit better             .

I’m looking forward to visit you in London!

Best regards

Hellen 

Jeg kan godt lide, at du leger rundt med ordene, men der er nogle stavefejl. Og jeg må desværre også sige, at brevet har ikke rigtig en rød tråd. Du svømmer lidt i det. Når det er sagt, så synes jeg at resten er godt. ligger til et 4-7 tal. Nogle få rettelser kan trække dig sikkert op til et 7- tal. pt et stort 4 tal ;)

Okay, tak for hjælpen! Jeg har lige nogle spørgsmål:

1) policemanmen har rettet sætningen: " It seems like the locals are very nice and open-minded – opposite as in Denmark, " hvor "as" er blevet udskiftet med "than", men siden du ikke lavede den samme rettelse, er jeg nu lidt forvirret. Hvilken en, er den rigtige?

2) "When I finish 9th grade I want to study physics, chemistry and mathematics at the “gymnasium” which is the Danish high school." - Hvorfor er der streg under det med gymnasiet?

3) hvad skal jeg skrive i stedet for "welcoming letter"?

 Og jeg har ændret denne sætning: "I love science. I find it extremely fascinating because there are so many questions about everything that can be solved with long equations, and some questions that cannot, and that is so mysterious but at the same time interesting. "

Er dog ikke sikker på, om det er rigtigt :)

jeg ville have skrevet. "I love science. It describe the future, and shows us how the future will may look like. Within science there is no limit of fantasy. I love the way that i can set my fantasys out. It also show us how tecnology have changed since many hunred years, and how this world were created (Big Bang).

Det er en fin sætning du har skrevet, men der er alligevel ikke den rigtige forklarelse. fx "questions that cannot" så bliver det mere filosofi end science. Men der er allerede sket en fremskridt ;)

Til #6:
Der er desværre en del kongruensfejl i det, du har foreslået. "It describes the future...." og "It also shows us...."

Hvis jeg skal komme med min mening, synes jeg rettelsen i #5 er bedre end #6.

Okay, det var dog bare en hurtig eksempel til, hvordan hun kunne gøre det... :) 

Tror du har misforstået mig. Jeg siger at det generelt ikke passer sammen med det dér står med sammenhæng til science. 

Mange tak for buddet! Jeg kan se, hvad du mener med, at det måske ikke beskriver begrebet science ordentligt, og jeg har nu rettet lidt i det :)

okay. men send gerne dit brev når du er færdig. vil gerne rette den igennem for stavefejl, da jeg har 9 års engelsk erfaring. 

Over denne tråd eller indbakke?

det bestemmer du ^.^

HellenBellen:
Jeg synes, din stil generelt set ser rigtig fin ud - både grammatisk og i forhold til stavning. På baggrund af, hvad SylarTheGreat selv kom med af forslag i kommentar #5, må jeg sige, at du skal være opmærksom på, hvad han retter. Der var altså en del grammatiske fejl (og stavefejl) i det lille stykke i #5 - uanset om han så bryster sig med 9 års erfaring eller ej. Bare så du ved det. 

Jeg lagde også selv mærke til de små grammatiske- og stavefejl i kommentar #6 (som du nok også mener) og dem har jeg også rettet. Jeg er bare en smule forvirret, da I ikke har rettet de samme fejl (måske overså I nogle eller også valgte SylerTheGreat ikke at rette dem) men bare lige for at være sikker:

1) " It seems like the locals are very nice and open-minded – opposite as in Denmark, " hvor "as" er blevet udskiftet med "than" - her har Syler undladt at rette (med vilje eller..?)

2) "When I finish 9th grade I want to study physics, chemistry and mathematics at the “gymnasium” which is the Danish high school." - Hvorfor er der streg under det med gymnasiet?

3) hvad skal jeg skrive i stedet for "welcoming letter"?

Mange tak for alle de konstruktive svar begge to! 

Ja, mente selvfølig #6.

1) Har selv lige prøvet at slå "modsat" op. Hvis du bruger "opposite" kan man bruge forskellige præposition (bl.a. 'of', 'to') - jeg ved ikke, om der er en forskel på, hvornår man kan bruge hvilken. Måske kan man slet ikke bruge "than", og i så fald beklager jeg fejlen (Jeg skal selvfølgelig også feje for egen dør!). Men hvad med at skrive: "as opposed to"  eller "contrary to" og så omformulere det lidt?

2) Jeg tror, han har ment, at "gymnasium" kan udelades på engelsk, så du bare skriver "high school". Et "gymnasium" på engelsk er i øvrigt et træningscenter.

3) Jeg ved heller ikke, hvad du ellers skulle skrive.