300 ord. rettelse! HASTER :)

Dette er en tekst jeg har læst, som jeg skal ha' rettet til i morgen, nogle der kan hjælpe?

Vi har læst en tekst og skrevet dette udfra opgaveformuleringen:)

I have read the article “Unhealthy food ads for young face ban” in The Sunday Times.
The Food Standards Agency (FSA) has made a study of television advertising.
The study shows at the advertising affects children so much as they are tempted eat more and become overweight,
it makes our generation becomes thicker
the companies who a showing TV - Advertising with candy and soda is a big mistake. They suggest that it should be banned such an advertising.
because it is a soft drink company which is directed toward children, we get poor reviews because it is unhealthy product.
and that mean that the company earns less.
there should'nt been advertising of unhealthy products, especially when children from the very young age see it. Because it can affect their lifestyle in the future.
There should be more campaigns to show how unhealthy it is. And how much it is destroying the children's teeth for example, so they could see how bad it is.
We should advertise the thing that catches people's interest, so they can see the unhealthy of it.
for example let them understand that exercise is much better than sitting and watching television. So they could get a model such as drinking milk instead of cola. I think that would make a difference.
I think it would be a good idea to use money to do something about it know. because later it will cost us more if the number of overweight increases.
Our hospitals will be filled up, and their children will get used to the unhealthy food and also getting fat.
you could make an agreement with school canteens and provide healthy and cheep food. Since food in the school canteen mainly is unhealthy they should bring more healthy food!