Rettelse af engelsk? Hurtig please!

Hey.. Jeg kan lige læse den igennem, hvis du ønsker det?

Jeanette

Ja, ønsker jeg så inderligt! 

Mange tak :)

Så lidt (:

Det bliver bare lige hurtigt. Jeg sætter rettelserne i parrentes, så kan du selv se om du vil lave det om (:

Du har da i hvert fald en engelsklærer :)

På 9. klasses niveau er det meget fint. Der er selvfølgelig en del fejl - det skal der være, ellers skriver du i et for simpelt sprog :)

De værste problemer kommer nok af, at du tænker på dansk og oversætter det ord for ord til engelsk. Det gør, at du får lavet nogle sætninger, som er meget "uengelske". Det er svært, men prøv at tænke på engelsk, når du skriver.

Et par ting, som jeg vil nævne er:

et par steder bruger du "tough" i stedet for "touch" (blev selv anklaget for samme forbrydelse for 2 år siden...altså i London Dungeon - ikke i virkeligheden!)

du har også et "were", der skal være "where"

overvej også lige alle de "gets'er", du remser op...

A memorable place

My Tripe(betyder indvolde fra køre der anvendes i hundemad) find noget andet)to London
 

London is the capital of England. A huge Town, with a population number of 7,5 million people.
In the spring of 2009 my family and I went to London for 5 days.
I had never been in London before, but my parents had been there, so they knew exactly what they wanted to show me. I suggested some attraction too but my parent dicided most of them.

The first thing we saw was The Madame Tussauds Wax Museum.
Of couse we did also see The Big Ben, The London Eye, THe Trefalgar Square, The Portobello Road and The Oxford Street.

(DETTE GIVER IKKE SÅ GODT MENING MEN OMSKRIVER DET IKKE DET MÅ DU SELV):

The wildest place was London Dungeon! Even the name sounds hurrifying. It was a real?? DUNGEON!
It was just as spooky as it sounds. First you walk in this wild labyrinth “Labyrinth of the lost”, it is called. You have no idea where you are, and where you're going. And you keep
s getting chocks, because of the mirrors and the people in them!
You also walk right into the great fire of London!
You get scarred by Jack the ripper. You get a nice shaving by Sweeny Todd. And if you are unlucky: You will also get accused and get a death sentence.
I was not so lucky on the trip. I got accussed! I went up to the court. Then they said what I was accussed for. Actually I did not get it at first. They spoke to fast, so my dad needed to translate what they told us. I proved to be that I was accussed for touching people's butts! And the only way I could get free, was to touch all the people in this room butts in one second!
After one second the judge asked who has been touching in the butt. Everybody had!

(GIVER IKKE MENING)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ..............

We stayed on a Hilton hotel.
Very nice, with a beautifully view over the city. At night, we could see The Eye light up blue.

London is a extremely beautiful city. Filled with big, impressive buildings. London is also filled with a lot of parks were you can went for a walk next to the flowers and next to the road at the same time. It is quite fun to walk in a park in the centre of a capital.

To me London is a very special place. What makes London so special, is that there are so many different nationalities gathered on this single place.
Everywhere I went, people talked with different accents and looked like they did not come from England. For instance my family and I talked with a man who definitely came from Russia.
We also walked on a street filled with Arabian people, who sat on some cafés and smoked hookah.

But they all live together.
That made the biggest impression. It was so international, but still just England.
 

syneS ALTSÅ IKKE DEN ER SÅ GOD

Såså du skal ikke tage så tungt på det (: du får lov til at skrive massere af stile endnu.

Her er mine hurtige rettelser:

A memorable place
My Tripe (Trip) to London

London. The capital of England. (The capital of England is London) A big Town, with a population number on (of) 7, 5 million people.
In (At) spring 2009 my family and I went to London for 5 days.
I had never been in London before, but my parents had, so they knew exactly (precisely) what they wanted to show us. I came, of course, with (some) suggestions too.

The first thing we saw was Madame Tussauds wax museum.
We also saw (Of course) Big Ben, London Eye, Trefalgar Square, Portobello Road and Oxford Street.
(Måske kunne du i starten skrive: this was the things that they wanted to show us/me.) hvis du gør det kan du slette “(of course)”
The wildest place was London Dungeon! Even the name sounds spooky. DUNGEON!
It is exactly as it sounds. First you walk in this wild labyrinth “Labyrinth of the lost”. You have no idea where you are, and where you're going. And you keep
getting chocks, because of the mirrors and the people in them!
You also walks (walk) right in the great fire of London!
Gets (you get) scarred by Jack the ripper. Gets (Get)a nice shaving by Sweeny Todd. And if you're unlucky: Gets (You get) accused and gets a death sentence.
I wasn't so lucky. I got accussed! (accused) I went up to the court. Then they said what I was accussed (accused) for. Actually I didn't got it at first. (Actually I couldn’t get the point first.) They spoke to fast, so my dad needed to translate. I proved to be that I was accussed (accused) for touching people's butts! And the only way I could get free, was to tough (touch = røre) all the people in this room butts in one second!
After one second the judge asked who has been tough (touched?) in the butt. Everybody had!
We lived on a Hilton hotel.
Very nice, with a good view over the city. At night, we could see The Eye light up blue.
London is a VERY beautiful city. Filled with big, impressive buildings. London is also filled with a lot of parks were (where = hvor) you can walk next to the flowers and next to the road at the same time. It is quite fun to walk in a park in the centre of a capital.
To me London is a very special place. What makes London so special, is that there are so many different nationalities gathered on this one place.
Everywhere I went, people talked with different accents and looked like they didn't came from England. Ex. (for an example) My family and I spoke (talked – det lyder måske bedre, fordi I taler med en mand) with a man who definitely came from Russia.
We also walked on a street filled with Arabian people, who sat on (at) some cafés and smoked hookah.
But they all lived together.
That made the biggest impression. It was so international, but still just England.
 

Held og lykke.

Jeanette.

En hel del af de rettelser, der er i #5 skal du ikke lytte til! Det er bare en række nye fejl, som ikke er dine, og så er det naturligvis ikke dem, du skal arbejde på at blive bedre til.

Der er ikke noget i stilen, der "ikke giver mening". Der er en del sætningsstrukturer, der er gået galt i byen, men meningen er der stadig. Det betyder selvfølgelig ikke, at der ikke skal arbejdes med det - det betyder, at der KAN arbejdes med det!

Åh, der var lige endnu en ting:

Ret lige "touch in the butt" til "touch on the butt"....ellers er det en tand for ulækkert :)

Tusind tak for alle svarene.

Jeg er meget glad for, at i ville give jer tid.

Jeghar netop lagt min stil herind for, at jeg netop skulle arbejde med mine fejl.

#5 Jeg beklager, at du synes jeg er dårlig til engelsk.

#8 Det er 'in the butt.' <-- Ulækkert, i know. Men det lød anklagelsen på :)

Men igen, TUSIND TAK!

/Louise.

Nej, det er "on the butt" - at have rørt nogens mås. "In the butt" kan ikke rigtig lade sig gøre, når "offeret" har bukser på...

Hmm. Så må jeg har husket forkert :)

Det var så lidt (:

Hvordan får du stilen tilbage?

Hvornår*

Jeg ved det ikke, min lærer er temmelig langsom omkring stile.

Jeg fortæller hvad hun siger til den, når jeg får det igen :)

Tak (:

Hej igen.

Jeg har fået min stil rettet. Hun har rettet i min stil, påpeget fejl osv. Men dette var, hvad hun skrev:

Godt historie. Du er god til at sortere i hvad der er vigtigt at få med og hvad der er knapt så interessant.
Du viser også, at du har tænkt dig om i forhold til, det du har set. Godt!
Jeg synes, du har nogle sætninger i denne stil, der hører til blandt de tocifrede karakterer, men desværre har du også sætninger der hører til nede på et 4 – tal. Det siger, at du har brug for et lidt mere stabilt sprog. Altså at du får ryddet ud i dine kongruensfejl og småfejl som ”accused for”. Du kan finde det i ordbogen – nogle engelske ord tager altid et bestemt forholdsord med sig. Her er det altid: ”of”.

Karakter: 7

Tillykke (: