Engelsk stil

ups jeg kunne ikke vedhæfte  de så i får den lige her:

Læreren stillede disse krav:

200 Til 300 ord

Fokus på at Jeg" (I på engelsk) staves med stort

A day in my life
I stand up at six o'clock. And the first thing I do is giving my cat some cat-food and then I go out to the kitchen to eat a good and solid breakfast. After the breakfast I go into my room and open my closet. I don't use so much time to find the clothes that I want to wear. After that I go into the bathroom to do my hair and brush my teeth. I use about a quarter in the bathroom. After that the clock is near seven o'clock. I pack my schoolbag and wait until the clock is half past seven. When it is time to go, I grab my back and taking my bike out of the shack and then I biking to school. After ten minutes I’m staying In front of the school. I go in, have my lessons and then I'm back on the bike again. But now I followed home with my friends. When I come home I’ll do my homework and I maybe eat some fruit, vegetables or something else. When I’m finish with my homework I go into the living-room and then I watch some television. After that the clock is maybe near six o'clock in the afternoon. My mother makes dinner to us. We sit around the table and talking about my day, my sisters day and my parents day. When I'll finish the dinner I go to the bathroom to take a shower. Then I go into my room to take my pajamas on. Then I give my cat some food, clean the litter box and then I go into my room to play computer. After plying some computer I went into the bathroom brush my teeth and then I went into my bed so I can sleep.
That's a normally day for me.
The end.

Og jeg vil vide hvilken karakter jeg cirka kan få for den og jeg vil have en begrundelse.

På forhånd tak

Det er langt tid siden jeg har gået i folkeskolen, så jeg kan ikke lige regne ud, hvad du får... Anyway, jeg kan dog hjælpe dig lidt med grammatikken (da jeg alligevel ikke kan sove). Undskyld hvis der er fejl i det jeg skriver - det er lidt sent ;-)

* "I stand up at six o'clock" - måske er det bare mig, men det lyder meget engelsk-dansk. Jeg ville nok sige "I get up at..."

* "And the first thing I do is giving my cat some cat-food and then I go out to the kitchen to eat a good and solid breakfast." - enten skal du fjerne 'And' i starten eller fjerne punktummet så det lyder således "I get up at six o'clock and the first thing I do...". 'give' ikke 'giving'. "cat food" ikke "cat-food".

* "I use about a quarter in the bathroom." - jeg er ikke helt sikker på, man kan sige "quarter" her. Jeg ville nok sige "I use about fifteen minutes..."

* "I grab my back and taking my bike out of the shack and then I biking to school" - 'bag' ikke 'back'. 'take' ikke 'taking'. 'bike' ikke 'biking'

* "After ten minutes I’m staying In front of the school." - fjern 'staying'. 'in' ikke 'In'

* "I go in, have my lessons and then I'm back on the bike again. But now I followed home with my friends." - jeg ville fjerne punktummet mellem 'again' og 'But' og så ville jeg nok omformulere det så det lyder således "[...] but now I bike home [together with]/[accompanied by] my firends."

* "When I come home I’ll do my homework and I maybe eat some fruit, vegetables or something else." - du mangler 'will' efter 'I' i sætningen 'I maybe eat some...' eller du kan bare slette 'I' (samme sætning)

* "When I’m finish with my homework I go into the living-room and then I watch some television." - 'living room' ikke 'living-room'. Jeg ville fjerne 'then I'.

* "We sit around the table and talking about my day, my sisters day and my parents day." - genitiv fejl her. " sister's " (det går selvfølgelig an på, hvor mange søskende du har. Hvis du har flere end en, så hedder det "sisters' day") " parents' ". 'talk' ikke 'talking'

* "When I'll finish the dinner I go to the bathroom to take a shower." - fjern 'll (altså will). Fjern 'the' før 'dinner'

* "After plying some computer I went into the bathroom brush my teeth and then I went into my bed so I can sleep." - 'playing' ikke 'plying'. Fjern 'some'. Jeg ville skrive resten sådan her "[...] I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and afterwards I go to bed."

* "That's a normally day for me" - 'normal' ikke 'normally'

Du bruger meget ordet 'After' efter et punktum. Prøv at se om du kan 'erstatte' det med et andet ord nogle steder. Pas på at du ikke starter med det samme ord, som du har startet med i den sætning du tidligere lige har skrevet. Prøv at finde synonymer til 'After', 'When' og 'Then'. Hvis du ikke kan, prøv om du kan skrive sætningen anderledes så :-)

Ok mange tak jeg vil prøve at rette stilen efter de ting du har skrevet.

Tusinde tak

Så her er den igen

Og i må meget gerne sige til hvis der er fejl med grammtikken, stavningen osv. Det tager jeg imod med kyshånd. :-D

A day in my life
I get up at six o'clock and the first thing I do  is give my cat some food and then I go out to the kitchen to eat a good and solid breakfast. After the breakfast I go into my room and open my closet. I don't use so much time to find the clothes that I want to wear. After that I go into the bathroom to do my hair and brush my teeth. I use about fifteen minutes  in the bathroom. After that the clock is near seven o'clock. I pack my schoolbag and wait until the clock is half past seven. When it is time to go, I grab my bag and take my bike out of the shack and then I bike to school. After ten minutes I’m in front of the school. I go in, have my lessons and then I'm back on the bike again but now I bike home together with my friends. When I come home I’ll do my homework and I will maybe eat some fruit, vegetables or something else. When I’m finish with my homework I go into the living room to watch some television. After that the clock is maybe near six o'clock in the afternoon. My mother makes dinner to us. We sit around the table and talk about my day, my sister day and my parents day. When I’m finish with my meal I go into the bathroom to take a shower. Then I go into my room to take my pajamas on. Then I give my cat some food, clean the litter box and then I go into my room to play computer. After playing computer I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and after wards I go to bed.
That's a normal day for me.
The end.

Jeg hjælper dig meget gerne, hvis du er interesseret :)
Nu ved jeg ik om du allerede HAR afleveret denne stil eller ej, men i så fald skriver jeg lige nedenstående med henblik på senere stile du skal aflevere.. :)


Jeg tilbyder at rette engelske stile/essays/opgaver, hvadenten du bare ønsker kommentarer til eventuelle rettelser mm., eller hvis den ønskes rettet for stavefejl m.m..

Jeg tilbyder også privatundervisning.
Jeg har boet samt rejst i USA siden 2006, hvilket har gjort at jeg idag skriver samt taler flydende amerikansk.

Du har også mulighed for at komme hjem til mig på Frederiksberg (kbh) så vi kan gennemgå din opgave sammen.
PRISER:

Hjælp med fritskrevne opgaver/essays:
     1)  Under 1 side = 50 kr
     2)  2-3 sider: 100 kr.
     3)  4-5 sider: 200 kr.
     4)  6-10 sider: 300 kr.
Hjælp med direkte oversættelser til engelsk max en halv sides oversættelse: 100 kr
Årsagen til denne pris skyldes, at dette tager mig længere tid, da der skal fokuseres mere, end end almindelig fritskreven A-4 side, eksempelvis i et essay, hvor det ikke skal være en korrekt oversat formulering fra en dansk sætning.

Kontakt mig endelig på email: [email protected] eller tlf: 27571713, hvis det skulle have din interesse :)
Vh,

Cathrine Strynø