Engelsk stil

Tony is a 17 year old boy. He has a little brother named Robert and a little sister named Debbie.

Robert is 15 and Debbie is 14. Their dad is a businessman, and their (mom) mum is a fashion designer (named) and her name  is Mrs. Dilaurentis.

Tony, Robert and Debbie are on summer (vacation) holiday now, so they are going to New York today. Their dad can’t go to New York with them(,) because he is on a business trip in Europe.

Tony is sitting on the plane with his family, the trip lasts about 6 hours and 30 minutes.

They are now on their way to (the) a hotel called "The Broadway At Times Square Hotel", which is close to Times Square. When they arrived at the hotel, they started to unpack. At 6 pm they found a restaurant that they could eat at. When they finished eating, they went back to the hotel where they fell asleep.

The next day, they went out (for) shopping. Debbie is a shopaholic, and she is running from one store to another (store,) so the boys and their (mom) mum can’t keep up with her.

“ Come on Debbie, i’m hungry, let’s go and find a place to eat “ says Robert.

“ No, wait. I have to buy this cute shirt “ Says Debbie.

“ Fine, only that shirt and then we’ll find a place to eat at! “, (S)says Robert.

Debbie doesn’t listen to the boys(, she is just standing) She just stands there (and) looking at the clothes.

“ Hurry Debbie, your brothers are hungry! “, (S)says (mom) mum.

“ Okay, okay! “, (S)says Debbie, and walks over to the (check out) checkout.

When she had bought the shirt, they walk out of the store.

“( See) Look! There is a Mcdonald’s! “ says Robert

“ Ya, let’s go eat there! “ says Tony.

They walk over to the Mcdonalds and they begin to eat.

At 2 pm they are walking across Times Square. Tony, Robert, Debbie and their mom are walking under a bridge.

“ Hey! Give me your purse! “ someone is shouting.

“ Stop! “ Whispers Mrs. Dilaurentis.  

Everyone stops walking. They can see a man with a gun in front of a old woman.

Tony takes his phone, calls the police, and after 2 minutes the police arrives.  

Tony walks over to one of the policemen, while Robert, Debbie and Mrs. Dilaurentis (is) are looking at the man with the gun.

“ Hello sir! The man is over there “ says Tony pointing at the man.

“ Right over there? “

“ Yes! “

“ Okay, come on let’s go! “

The policemen walk over to the man, and Tony’s (mom) mum and brother and sister are walking over to Tony.

The man is (now getting nearly) just about to be pulled into the police car. 

One of the policemen talks with the old woman, and then they point at (t)Tony and his family.

The woman and the policeman walks over to Tony and thanks him (a lot) heartily.

When the policemen are gone, Tony and his family went over to their hotel.

Tony, Debbie and Robert are watching tv.

“ Tony, come here! Your dad wants to talk with you! “ said mom.

Tony walks over to his mom, and talks with his dad.

“ Hi dad! “ said Tony.

“ Hi Tony! I just heard that you helped an old woman from being robbed! I am so proud of you my son! “

“ Thank you dad! “

They talk further, and at 8 pm Tony is lying on the bed of his hotelroom, (and) thinking about what happened that day.

Tony is a 17-year-old (husk bindestreg mellem adjektiver der består af mere end ét ord) boy. He has a little brother, Robert, and a little sister, Debbie.

Robert is 15, (komma når konjunktion forbinder helsætningsstamme/hovedsætning [kan findes ved at høre om det giver mening hvis man sætter punktum imellem]) and Debbie is 14. Their dad (navn?) is a businessman, and their mom is a fashion designer named Mrs. Dilaurentis.

As Tony, Robert and Debbie are on summer vacation now, they're going to New York today. Their dad can’t go to New York with them—(tankestreg kan bruges istf. "because")he is on a business trip in Europe. The trip will last about 6 hours and 30 minutes.

Her kan jeg anbefale at du tilføjer nogle adjektiver osv. for at gøre fortællingen lidt mere spændende

Tony is sitting on the massive four-engined plane with his family and is excited to see New York.

8 hours after leaving Denmark (eller hvor han nu er fra), they are on their way to The Broadway At Times Square Hotel, which is close to Times Square. When they arrive at the hotel, they start to unpack (vær opmærksom på ikke at skifte fra nutid til datid). At 6 pm, they find a restaurant that they can eat at. After eating, they head back to the hotel, where they fell asleep.

The next day, they go shopping. Debbie is a shopaholic: she is running from one store to another store, and the boys and their mom can’t keep up with her.

“Come on, Debbie, I'm (husk stort begyndelsesbogstav i ordene "I" og "I'm") hungry, let’s go and find a place to eat," (komma før ende på direkte tale) says Robert.

“No, wait. I have to buy this cute shirt,“ answers Debbie (lav evt. en lille tilføjelse, såsom ", annoyed").

“Fine, but only that shirt—then we’ll find a place to eat!" says Robert.

Debbie doesn’t listen to the boys, she is just standing there and looking at the clothes.

“Hurry Debbie, your brothers are hungry!" says mom.

“Okay, okay!“ says Debbie and walks over to the checkout.

After she buys the shirt, they walk out of the store.

Robert points at a McDonald's opposite the store (prøv at skære ned på "says ...") “See! There is a McDonald’s!“

“Ya, let’s go eat there!“ Tony agrees enthusiastically.

They walk over to the McDonald's and begin to eat.

At 2 pm, they are walking across Times Square. Tony, Robert, Debbie(,) (du kan evt. tilføje det komma der hed der serial comma eller Oxford comma) and their mom are walking under a bridge.

“ Hey! Give me your purse!“ someone shouts .

“Stop!“ whispers Mrs. Dilaurentis.  

Everyone stops walking. They can see a man with a gun in front of an (husk at det er "an" når det efterfølgende ord starter med en vokallyd) old woman.

Tony takes his phone, calls the police, and after 2 minutes the police arrives.  

Tony walks over to one of the policemen, while Robert, Debbie(,) and Mrs. Dilaurentis is looking at the man with the gun.

“Hello, sir! The man is over there “ says Tony pointing at the man.

“Right over there?“

“Yes!“

“ Okay. Come on, let’s go! “

The policemen walk over to the man, and Tony’s mom, brother(,) and sister are walking over to Tony.

The man is now (nearly) getting pulled into the police car (hvorfor kun næsten?). 

One of the policemen talks with the old woman, and then they point at Tony and his family.

The woman and the policeman walks over to Tony and thanks him a lot.

The policemen leave, and Tony and his family go back to their hotel.

Tony, Debbie and Robert are watching TV.

“Tony, come here! Your dad wants to talk with you!“ says mom.

Tony walks over to his mom and talks with his dad.

“Hi dad!“  Tony says into the phone (husk på en eller anden måde at nævne at faren ikke er der).

“Hi Tony! I just heard that you helped an old woman from being robbed! I am so proud of you, my son!“

“ Thank you, Dad! “

They talk further, and at 8 pm, Tony is lying on the bed in his hotelroom, thinking about what happened that day.

Jeg håber ikke jeg hjalp for meget ...