Ret engelsk stil

:)

Din lærer er nok (formodentlig) en venlig sjæl.

There are many types of crimes, young people can get involved in, just from robberies and vandalism, to more serious things like sexual assault or murder. 

It's so (fyldeord) terrifying to think about that 25 percent of all violent crimes are committed by teenagers in the USA. (kilde?)

I think most of the teens that commit robberies, are homeless or just don't have a family with a lot of resources, like money and food. Some of the teens that commit these crimes might have a diagnose (forkert ord man kan ikke bruge diagnose på den måde), and in the USA, you can't always get the right help, because of the low taxes, so instead of getting help, they are getting worse and that might also be a factor in the big puzzle about as to why so many teens are doing these crimes.

I don't think these teenagers who commit crimes are bad people (hvis du vil bruge "these" vil du blot skrive: "I don't think these teenagers are bad people"), I don't even think bad people exist because if you've done one bad thing, it doesn't mean your personality is only bad for the rest of your life. (Sætning giver ikke mening. Du mener, at dårlige mennesker ikke findes -> dit argument er: Hvis du har gjort noget forkert, betyder det ikke at din personlighed er dårlig resten af livet. Enten præcisér din mening eller skriv et bedre argument).

If I should point out a few things I think the society is doing wrong, it could would be the society does not always accept people who stand out from the norm or and they should have more focus on helping the young people with diagnoses (slå op hvad diagnoses betyder se eksempler på rettelser ->) treating their mental disorder ELLER treating their mental illnesses (gætter på du snakker om mentale problemer) and problems generally in general.

If society should do anything to prevent teenage crimes, it could be something like (fyld) care caring more about young people who take taking drugs and drink drinking alcohol, which is a crime in itself, but (du ville ikke bruge men (but) i denne sætning, du prøver at uddybe hvorfor stoffer og alkohol ikke er godt, du kan uddybe din pointe ved at bruge "furthermore") furthermore drugs and alcohol can lead to various other crimes, lav sætning om -> because its abuse the affect judgments <- lav sætning om, and it can make them become a part of a crime, they never intended to commit in the first place. 

I think the best way to avoid these crimes is if young people have good living confidence, a home, and an education.  Der mangler noget her like a family or they just feel that they are a part of society

Lang sætning:

Punishments for teens are usually lighter than adult punishments, and its it's fair because when young people do criminal things crimes, they may not always know the consequences of their actions and how it may affect other people, it won't make the criminals right, but I don't think it will help anything to punish the young people with imprisonment, because then they will just think about all the wrong things they have done, and they won't learn anything by sitting in a prison cell with a lot of other criminal people instead they should maybe do community services in a period for a period, chosen by how bad the crime was depending on how severe the crime was.

^ Til afsnittet over, tænk over hvad du siger og om dit argument giver mening. Du siger, at det ikke vil hjælpe at straffe dem, (argument:) fordi de blot vil tænke over hvad de har gjort forkert. Samme argument kunne bruges, hvis ikke bedre, hvorfor de skal straffes.

Generel tip: I stedet for at komme med anekdoter, kunne du angive kilder som bakker dine tanker op. Har lavet sætninger i kursiv som kunne bruge kilder, hvis du har lyst til det :>D

#2

Din lærer er nok (formodentlig) en venlig sjæl.

Det er rigtigt nok, men vil rigtig gerne blive bedre til selv at kunne spotte fejl. Denne tekst er også bare en "øveprøve", så jeg selv kan se om der evt. er nogle fejl der gentager sig, så jeg for eftertiden kan være mere opmærksom på dem selv:) Jeg synes også selv det er nemmere at få noget mere skriftligt konstruktivt kritik, end hvis min lærer blot skulle fortælle om hvad jeg skulle gøre bedre til en anden gang.

#3

There are many types of crimes, young people can get involved in, just from robberies and vandalism, to more serious things like sexual assault or murder. 

It's so (fyldeord) terrifying to think about that 25 percent of all violent crimes are committed by teenagers in the USA. (kilde?)

I think most of the teens that commit robberies, are homeless or just don't have a family with a lot of resources, like money and food. Some of the teens that commit these crimes might have a diagnose (forkert ord man kan ikke bruge diagnose på den måde), and in the USA, you can't always get the right help, because of the low taxes, so instead of getting help, they are getting worse and that might also be a factor in the big puzzle about as to why so many teens are doing these crimes.

I don't think these teenagers who commit crimes are bad people (hvis du vil bruge "these" vil du blot skrive: "I don't think these teenagers are bad people"), I don't even think bad people exist because if you've done one bad thing, it doesn't mean your personality is only bad for the rest of your life. (Sætning giver ikke mening. Du mener, at dårlige mennesker ikke findes -> dit argument er: Hvis du har gjort noget forkert, betyder det ikke at din personlighed er dårlig resten af livet. Enten præcisér din mening eller skriv et bedre argument).

If I should point out a few things I think the society is doing wrong, it could would be the society does not always accept people who stand out from the norm or and they should have more focus on helping the young people with diagnoses (slå op hvad diagnoses betyder se eksempler på rettelser ->) treating their mental disorder ELLER treating their mental illnesses (gætter på du snakker om mentale problemer) and problems generally in general.

If society should do anything to prevent teenage crimes, it could be something like (fyld) care caring more about young people who take taking drugs and drink drinking alcohol, which is a crime in itself, but (du ville ikke bruge men (but) i denne sætning, du prøver at uddybe hvorfor stoffer og alkohol ikke er godt, du kan uddybe din pointe ved at bruge "furthermore") furthermore drugs and alcohol can lead to various other crimes, lav sætning om -> because its abuse the affect judgments <- lav sætning om, and it can make them become a part of a crime, they never intended to commit in the first place. 

I think the best way to avoid these crimes is if young people have good living confidence, a home, and an education.  Der mangler noget her like a family or they just feel that they are a part of society

Lang sætning:

Punishments for teens are usually lighter than adult punishments, and its it's fair because when young people do criminal things crimes, they may not always know the consequences of their actions and how it may affect other people, it won't make the criminals right, but I don't think it will help anything to punish the young people with imprisonment, because then they will just think about all the wrong things they have done, and they won't learn anything by sitting in a prison cell with a lot of other criminal people instead they should maybe do community services in a period for a period, chosen by how bad the crime was depending on how severe the crime was.

^ Til afsnittet over, tænk over hvad du siger og om dit argument giver mening. Du siger, at det ikke vil hjælpe at straffe dem, (argument:) fordi de blot vil tænke over hvad de har gjort forkert. Samme argument kunne bruges, hvis ikke bedre, hvorfor de skal straffes.

Generel tip: I stedet for at komme med anekdoter, kunne du angive kilder som bakker dine tanker op. Har lavet sætninger i kursiv som kunne bruge kilder, hvis du har lyst til det :>D

Hej, tusind tak for hjælpen, det sætter jeg virkelig stor pris på. Mht. Kilder, har vi fået vedhæftet en side hvor det med "25 percent of all violent crimes are committed by teenagers in the USA" stod på og meget andet, men det kunne du selvfølelig ikke vide:)

Udover de rettelser Serria har foretaget, kan jeg anbefale at ændre første sætning til:

There are many types of crimes young people can get involved in—from robberies and vandalism to more serious things like sexual assault or murder. 

En vældigt godt forslag.